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Why Is Cheating Such a Big Deal?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I don't understand why everyone gets so worked up about cheating. 

My husband once cheated on me, it was a basic drunken indescretion. 

He apologized and I forgave him.  I understand how people can make mistakes.  It didn't mean he doesn't love me.  Sex doesn't equate love to me, to me love is way more than just sex. I didn't consider him cheating on me any more of a crime than other things he has apologized to me about. 

I too have had my own indescretion, I have cheated on my husband.  I failed to resist the temptation.  I felt bad afterwards, as they say hindsight is always 20/20. 

My husband and I are in a fantastic monogamous marriage, we both love eachother very much...and we both seem to agree that a great marriage is too valuable to throw away because of a mistake.  Neither of us plan on cheating again, we both want to be monogamous, but we both understand that people fuck up sometimes.  If he was to cheat again, I would forgive him.  If I was, im sure he would forgive me.  Though neither of us ever plan on doing it again, nor did we plan on it the first time.  It was just one of those things, a mistake.  Im not going to say neither of us will ever make a mistake again.  We are all human. 

We are both very secure, communicate well and trust each other unconditionally.  When he cheated, I didn't think he didn't love me anymore, I didn't feel be honest when I found out, at first I sort of panicked, I was most upset about being disrespected.  I felt he disrespected me.  It was a mistake.  I let him know how I felt about getting disrespected like that and he apologized, and we moved on in life. 

I supose another bonus with our marriage is that we are not so full of pride we can't forgive.  Forgiveness seems to come pretty easily to both of us.  We both are super laid back and easy going.  We both know deep down that neither of us would intentionally hurt one another, so anything that one of us does that hurt the other was done by mistake, thought lapse, indescretion.  No one is perfect. 

We are all animals, and biologically humans were not designed to be monogamous.  We may walk around in rubber soled shoes and have iPhones strapped to our heads, but we are still animals.  Sure some have been great about denying their most animal like instincts, but other not so much...

I think some serial cheaters do deserve to have their balls sliced off from the root, no one deserves to be disrespected all the time.  I also think an indescretion/mistake regarding cheating is totally forgiveable, if they are sorry.  I supose it all depends on the partner and the relationship at hand.  If you can tell when someone is truly sorry for a mistake. 

Some people consider cheating even one time a complete deal breaker.  I think those kinds of relationships with people that make those type of rules were doomed from the start.  I really have failed to see what the big deal is...

Posted by Anonymous on May. 8, 2012 at 4:37 PM
Replies (431-431):
by on May. 10, 2012 at 8:36 PM

You are welcome..sorry I was posting from my phone and had an autocorrect fail lol. I meant *deal* not desk. Some people have no problems with their spouse going out and having flings as long as they do not lie about it or try to hide it...sadly a lot of the time if you do nothing about it the person cheating will just keep doing it over and over and over again because the other person made it seem like it was ok by not doing anything. I would get yourself tested regularly for sexually transmitted diseases/ do not know that he is wrapping his package and he could spread disease to you..

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