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Porn ultimatum..... your thoughts?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I caught porn on Dh's computer again. I have set an ultimatetum that if I see it again, I am gone. (this is the 5th time! and I have begged and begged him to stop) It is very hurtful to me, yes I have self esteem issues. BUT It would NOT bother me to the point of leaving if he actually had sex with me more than once every few weeks! 

But I watch it on occasion. ( like once every few weeks) not fair I know but I don't EVER get mine, no matter how much I beg/tease. I can literally blow him and he still wont want sex. So I say fine, wait for him to go to work and take care of myself anyways.

So I caught it on the computer again, when he had 5 minutes to himself! and I am telling him tonight either he is leaving or I am.

(this is not the only issue,he has little respect for my wishes/concers/wants while I bend over backwards to make him happy except for on this issue. We have watched porn together, no problem, it's the sneaky shit I hate. Tonight was just the dealbreaker for me) 

Thoughts?


Posted by Anonymous on May. 9, 2012 at 12:30 AM
Replies (11-20):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 9, 2012 at 12:49 AM

parentalrights1 got it right, this is what she said and its exactly how i feel

It's not because he watches porn people, it's because he obviously has a sexual libido but won't use it on her. He'd rather use it to jack off to porn.

I enjoy porn myself, but my husband and I give eacnother the attention too. We don't shut ourselves away to watch porn and then turn eachother away

Quoting BJAponte77:

 YOU watch porn too!  Doesn't matter the reason you do it.

Quoting Anonymous:

It's not lame to me. It's something I don't agree with "right now" and he goes behind my back and does it anyways knowing this is the straw on the camels back and that he WILL lose his family

(this is not the only thing he does without regard to his family (like skipping work for a week after DD was born and my other DD was sick just to play videogames and lying about it), it's just my personal breaking point)

Quoting BJAponte77:

 You're looking for drama and a fight.  That's what I think.  We love porn here!  He's a grown ass man you're gonna leave him and hurt the kids because he watches porn when you do it.  That's lame.  It's your life but if you want my thoughts...lame.


 


lovinglife0682
by on May. 9, 2012 at 12:51 AM
Sounds like porn is a small part of it. We do not watch porn but I find it hard to tell someone not to when you are doing it. We scheduled "date" nights when we were in a little rut. Wednesdays and Fridays were our nights. We had wine Wednesday and friday nights we switched off planning fun things to do at home. Sex was always a part of those night. We continued it until we felt like we could have sex more than once a week spontaneously.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 9, 2012 at 12:51 AM
1 mom liked this
Do you watch good free porn. If so can you link that shit. Hahaa
BJAponte77
by on May. 9, 2012 at 1:06 AM
1 mom liked this

 Maybe he's not sexually attracted to a pushy hypocrit who tries to tell a grown man what he can and can't do by threatening divorce.

Quoting Anonymous:

parentalrights1 got it right, this is what she said and its exactly how i feel

It's not because he watches porn people, it's because he obviously has a sexual libido but won't use it on her. He'd rather use it to jack off to porn.

I enjoy porn myself, but my husband and I give eacnother the attention too. We don't shut ourselves away to watch porn and then turn eachother away

Quoting BJAponte77:

 YOU watch porn too!  Doesn't matter the reason you do it.

Quoting Anonymous:

It's not lame to me. It's something I don't agree with "right now" and he goes behind my back and does it anyways knowing this is the straw on the camels back and that he WILL lose his family

(this is not the only thing he does without regard to his family (like skipping work for a week after DD was born and my other DD was sick just to play videogames and lying about it), it's just my personal breaking point)

Quoting BJAponte77:

 You're looking for drama and a fight.  That's what I think.  We love porn here!  He's a grown ass man you're gonna leave him and hurt the kids because he watches porn when you do it.  That's lame.  It's your life but if you want my thoughts...lame.


 


 

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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 9, 2012 at 1:12 AM

Are you TRYING to make me feel worse? 

Maybe if he'd fuck me every once in a while I'd leave him the hell alone. This has been going on for 2 YEARS! Only recently have I started watching porn because I gave up :( 

What do you suggest I do instead? 

Quoting BJAponte77:

 Maybe he's not sexually attracted to a pushy hypocrit who tries to tell a grown man what he can and can't do by threatening divorce.

Quoting Anonymous:

parentalrights1 got it right, this is what she said and its exactly how i feel

It's not because he watches porn people, it's because he obviously has a sexual libido but won't use it on her. He'd rather use it to jack off to porn.

I enjoy porn myself, but my husband and I give eacnother the attention too. We don't shut ourselves away to watch porn and then turn eachother away

Quoting BJAponte77:

 YOU watch porn too!  Doesn't matter the reason you do it.

Quoting Anonymous:

It's not lame to me. It's something I don't agree with "right now" and he goes behind my back and does it anyways knowing this is the straw on the camels back and that he WILL lose his family

(this is not the only thing he does without regard to his family (like skipping work for a week after DD was born and my other DD was sick just to play videogames and lying about it), it's just my personal breaking point)

Quoting BJAponte77:

 You're looking for drama and a fight.  That's what I think.  We love porn here!  He's a grown ass man you're gonna leave him and hurt the kids because he watches porn when you do it.  That's lame.  It's your life but if you want my thoughts...lame.


 


 


alexsmomma06
by Platinum Member on May. 9, 2012 at 1:18 AM
Double standard. Doesn't matter your reasoning behind it. He does it because he enjoys it, you do it for your own pleasure. Same thing. You're being a hypocrite.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 9, 2012 at 1:21 AM
I know its wrong but for me the point is, I still want him. He chooses porn or jerking off over me every time and I ran out of options so I finally threw in the towel and watched porn. I figured if he did behind my back than whatever :( 
Quoting alexsmomma06:

Double standard. Doesn't matter your reasoning behind it. He does it because he enjoys it, you do it for your own pleasure. Same thing. You're being a hypocrite.


GomezMami2908
by on May. 9, 2012 at 1:21 AM

So....you watch it but don't want him to and actually had the balls to give him an ultimatum? Yeah...because that makes complete sense *rolls eyes*

Seems like there are bigger issues here than just porn. Maybe if you wouldn't make it such taboo it wouldn't be an issue. 

Paperfishies
by on May. 9, 2012 at 1:23 AM
1 mom liked this
I think porn ultimatums are stupid overall. Very overdramatic.
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Paperfishies
by on May. 9, 2012 at 1:25 AM
1 mom liked this
Maybe there is something about you that he is turning away from? Hve you tried sitting down with him, without yelling and just saying look, it is time to put it all out in the table, why won't you fuck me? What do you need from me that you aren't getting? What is different between us?


Quoting Anonymous:

I know its wrong but for me the point is, I still want him. He chooses porn or jerking off over me every time and I ran out of options so I finally threw in the towel and watched porn. I figured if he did behind my back than whatever :( 
Quoting alexsmomma06:

Double standard. Doesn't matter your reasoning behind it. He does it because he enjoys it, you do it for your own pleasure. Same thing. You're being a hypocrite.



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