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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Domestic abuse a

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 30 Replies
1 mom liked this
My confession: I think too many women cry wolf when it comes to domestic abuse. So many women on here claim their husbands abuse them by being controlling/mean/etc then try to tell their husbands what to do, call him names, hit/slap him, tear him down, and then cry wolf when he retaliates. There are women being seriously abused everyday and people don't take them seriously because of all the overly dramatic women who claim abuse that isn't there. Everytime I hear another woman complaining about her "abusive, controlling husband" I wonder if they are really being abused or just being dramatic for sympathy. Sometimes abuse is very black and white and sometimes it isn't so clear. From what I've read women post, many of you would be considered controlling and abusive by your own definitions. Stop with the double standards. Crying wolf makes t harder for real abuse victims. If you hit your man and he hits you back he isn't being abusive (in most cases). There's always exceptions but most things can be twisted into what you want it to be. So many women on here jump to the divorce route over the dumbest shit on here. No wonder so many of you are divorced! According to you Most men are terrible abusive men. How hypocritical!!! I know real abuse victims and it's horribly offensive when women claim abuse just to get out of a marriage. I don't really care if I offend people with this. I read enough on this site to make me sick. I care about my marriage, I forgive my husband when he makes mistakes, and I have no intention on divorcing him if he doesn't help me around the house or wants to play a fucking video game or look at porn!! I probably won't reply o this because I'll actually be taking care of my children instead of playing on here all day.
Posted by Anonymous on May. 9, 2012 at 12:44 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mommy_me
by ~The Three B's~ on May. 9, 2012 at 12:46 PM

 oh crap...

Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 9, 2012 at 12:49 PM

You are so dense.  And yes, you've offended me, greatly.

I just got out of court this morning from my husband almost killing me.  He fractured my skull for crying out loud.  He faces up to 20 years in prison, meanwhile two children are fatherless.

Still don't care that you're offending people???

Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 9, 2012 at 12:50 PM
I am sure many are like that.
I am living in a domestic violence shelter at the moment because I am abused. I will get woke up in the middle of the night with him screaming he is going to kill me, hitting me.
Some women here are truly abused, most aren't. Some shelter hop.
brettsmomma
by ~Tammie~ on May. 9, 2012 at 12:52 PM
1 mom liked this

 What seems trivial to you might not be to someone else. What seems important to you might not be so important to someone else. We are all different yet humans with thoughts and feelings. Whats it to you if someone comes in here and vents? Better here then at home..




 

illegallyblonde
by Silver Member on May. 9, 2012 at 12:58 PM
Physical abuse and emotional abuse are 2 kinds of domestic violence. There are many women who are emotionally abused all day long. Many of these women would probably rather be hit than endure constant emotional abuse.

Domestic violence is very prevalent. Don't be too quick to judge.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 9, 2012 at 1:18 PM
Quoting Anonymous:

You are so dense.  And yes, you've offended me, greatly.

I just got out of court this morning from my husband almost killing me.  He fractured my skull for crying out loud.  He faces up to 20 years in prison, meanwhile two children are fatherless.

Still don't care that you're offending people???




You are clearly an abuse victim, why are you offended? From the moment a person is abused, people start questioning whether they really were or not. Everytime someone claims to be abused for attention or as an excuse for some action they've done, it minimizes the REAL abuse that others experience. I have family members who were abused and it is horrible. I know the scars don't go away and I know of the nightmares they experience. But it's sad that people even have to question it now because people really do pretend to be abuse who aren't. I know of people who have claimed this and been caught in their lies! People don't want to help anymore because you can't trust. How is that fair to the victims who really are abused? I have no idea why you would fabricate such stories but it keeps being done. And because of this, real abuse victims are being made fun of or questioned and forced to relive the experience just to prove it. It bothers me that people scoff at my family member's stories because of the few who think it's a good way to get attention or get out of something. Once again, I already said there is real abuse and then there are the people who create it, as they do cancer, rape, and family member's deaths.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 9, 2012 at 1:24 PM
Quoting illegallyblonde:

Physical abuse and emotional abuse are 2 kinds of domestic violence. There are many women who are emotionally abused all day long. Many of these women would probably rather be hit than endure constant emotional abuse.

Domestic violence is very prevalent. Don't be too quick to judge.



This is what I was referring to when I said some is black and white, some isn't. Only the victim knows the truth but when a woman is claiming abuse that isn't there it makes it harder for other abuse victims to be taken seriously. And sadly something can be taken out of a context and created into something else so when someone is being abused, it is hard for them to be believed or to understand they need to get out of a situation because other people downplay it! Does that make sense? I think its horrible that some women fabricate stories because they know they will get attention for it and it hurts those who are really being abused because no one wants to believe them! I have seen this happen many times and many people jumped in to help this person, only to find out it was all a cover up for something else. Now no one is going to jump to help the next victim because you can't trust if it really happened. Some women need to get out of abusive relationships and some women twist things to get validation for leaving. It's not fair to those who really do need to get out.

Oka this time I really do have to go.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 9, 2012 at 1:24 PM
So I am crying wolf about the night my ex BF fractured my skull, fractured my neck, broke my back, broke my nose, fractured my jaw,made me miscarry our baby and left me for dead? His reason for beating me?, I had gone to a rock concert without asking his permission.
laranadtony
by Ruby Member on May. 9, 2012 at 1:31 PM


Quoting Anonymous:

Quoting Anonymous:

You are so dense.  And yes, you've offended me, greatly.

I just got out of court this morning from my husband almost killing me.  He fractured my skull for crying out loud.  He faces up to 20 years in prison, meanwhile two children are fatherless.

Still don't care that you're offending people???




You are clearly an abuse victim, why are you offended? From the moment a person is abused, people start questioning whether they really were or not. Everytime someone claims to be abused for attention or as an excuse for some action they've done, it minimizes the REAL abuse that others experience. I have family members who were abused and it is horrible. I know the scars don't go away and I know of the nightmares they experience. But it's sad that people even have to question it now because people really do pretend to be abuse who aren't. I know of people who have claimed this and been caught in their lies! People don't want to help anymore because you can't trust. How is that fair to the victims who really are abused? I have no idea why you would fabricate such stories but it keeps being done. And because of this, real abuse victims are being made fun of or questioned and forced to relive the experience just to prove it. It bothers me that people scoff at my family member's stories because of the few who think it's a good way to get attention or get out of something. Once again, I already said there is real abuse and then there are the people who create it, as they do cancer, rape, and family member's deaths.

She is offended because domestic violence is not that easy to prosecute and women like you will make it harder.

It will become like rape.A rape victim is the first liar to the authorities unless she is dead.

That is the reason that I will never be raped alive again.They will have to kill me.

Don't sweat the petty things;Don't pet the sweaty things!

illegallyblonde
by Silver Member on May. 9, 2012 at 1:35 PM
How do you know the woman is making it up? In most cases, a woman will recant the abuse the next day. There are many reasons for this and only the woman know why she does this. Many times it is for safety reasons. It is important to talk with the abuse victim right after the abuse. This is when they are most vulnerable and open and willing to tell the truth.

I was a domestic violence advocate for many years with both the prosecutors office and law enforcement. I am also a family law attorney. Sadly, I see domestic violence all the time. It is very frustrating and heartbreaking when the victim recants. This is not crying wolf. This is normal! As mentioned above, there are many reasons why the victim does this.

If you or a friend or a family member is in an abusive relationship, there is support. Only the victim can decide when they feel safe to seek out that support.


Quoting Anonymous:

Quoting illegallyblonde:

Physical abuse and emotional abuse are 2 kinds of domestic violence. There are many women who are emotionally abused all day long. Many of these women would probably rather be hit than endure constant emotional abuse.



Domestic violence is very prevalent. Don't be too quick to judge.





This is what I was referring to when I said some is black and white, some isn't. Only the victim knows the truth but when a woman is claiming abuse that isn't there it makes it harder for other abuse victims to be taken seriously. And sadly something can be taken out of a context and created into something else so when someone is being abused, it is hard for them to be believed or to understand they need to get out of a situation because other people downplay it! Does that make sense? I think its horrible that some women fabricate stories because they know they will get attention for it and it hurts those who are really being abused because no one wants to believe them! I have seen this happen many times and many people jumped in to help this person, only to find out it was all a cover up for something else. Now no one is going to jump to help the next victim because you can't trust if it really happened. Some women need to get out of abusive relationships and some women twist things to get validation for leaving. It's not fair to those who really do need to get out.



Oka this time I really do have to go.
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