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Domestic abuse a

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
My confession: I think too many women cry wolf when it comes to domestic abuse. So many women on here claim their husbands abuse them by being controlling/mean/etc then try to tell their husbands what to do, call him names, hit/slap him, tear him down, and then cry wolf when he retaliates. There are women being seriously abused everyday and people don't take them seriously because of all the overly dramatic women who claim abuse that isn't there. Everytime I hear another woman complaining about her "abusive, controlling husband" I wonder if they are really being abused or just being dramatic for sympathy. Sometimes abuse is very black and white and sometimes it isn't so clear. From what I've read women post, many of you would be considered controlling and abusive by your own definitions. Stop with the double standards. Crying wolf makes t harder for real abuse victims. If you hit your man and he hits you back he isn't being abusive (in most cases). There's always exceptions but most things can be twisted into what you want it to be. So many women on here jump to the divorce route over the dumbest shit on here. No wonder so many of you are divorced! According to you Most men are terrible abusive men. How hypocritical!!! I know real abuse victims and it's horribly offensive when women claim abuse just to get out of a marriage. I don't really care if I offend people with this. I read enough on this site to make me sick. I care about my marriage, I forgive my husband when he makes mistakes, and I have no intention on divorcing him if he doesn't help me around the house or wants to play a fucking video game or look at porn!! I probably won't reply o this because I'll actually be taking care of my children instead of playing on here all day.
Posted by Anonymous on May. 9, 2012 at 12:44 PM
Replies (21-30):
orangeillusion
by on May. 9, 2012 at 3:06 PM
Did you hit him 1st? That was the point she was trying to make. Sounds like eBay happened to you had legitimate abuse not what she was saying.

Quoting Anonymous:

You are so dense.  And yes, you've offended me, greatly.

I just got out of court this morning from my husband almost killing me.  He fractured my skull for crying out loud.  He faces up to 20 years in prison, meanwhile two children are fatherless.

Still don't care that you're offending people???

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
AHmom103
by Gold Member on May. 9, 2012 at 3:09 PM
1 mom liked this

 I agree to a point. I try to take each claim seriously, because, obviously, since I'm not there, I don't know for sure what's going on. But, I just flipped out on my sister a few weeks ago for this. She claimed her bf beat the crap out of her one night. From what she described, she should have been in the hospital. So, as soon as I was able (it took like 2 days, because she was living pretty far away) I went and got her. She didn't have a single mark in any of the spots she said he hit her, she was not injured at all. A week ago, she posts on FB that she's engaged to this jackass. When I ask why she would agree to marry someone who beat the crap out of her, she says "well, I hit him harder than he hit me, so it's okay". Then, 2 days later, she posts an apology to all of her family, saying that he didn't hit her, and honestly, I believe that. People who do stuff like that are why it is SO hard for some women to get the help they need.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on May. 9, 2012 at 3:10 PM

 I had a friend who had an affair during her marriage. Both her and her husband were active duty in the military. She slept with someone in the military as well (fraternization). So he gets pissed at her and go to the command that his wife is running around spreading her legs. She claims he was emotionally abusive to her, because he was gone on deployments when this happened. No shit she claimed a deployment was emotional abuse! Needless to say, she is a whore and sleeps with every swinging dick that walks in front her.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on May. 9, 2012 at 3:23 PM
When I married( different guy) he was verbally, mentally and emotionally abusive. The 2nd abusive relationship was worse. Because my physical abuse scars healed. I have a really hard time getting over the emotional and verbal abuse, the name calling, the snide remarks etc.
And no, I didn't get justice. He got a few years probation, anger management classes but that's it!



Quoting Anonymous:

It appears that you are not understanding what the OP is saying. YOU and people in your exact situation are the one's she is defending. She is saying that people who make false accusations are the one's that are taking away from the severity of your situation...BTW, I hope you got justice.


Quoting Anonymous:

So I am crying wolf about the night my ex BF fractured my skull, fractured my neck, broke my back, broke my nose, fractured my jaw,made me miscarry our baby and left me for dead? His reason for beating me?, I had gone to a rock concert without asking his permission.



laranadtony
by Ruby Member on May. 9, 2012 at 3:37 PM


Quoting mkuebler:

I've never seen any such case.  I've seen many cases in which a woman started a physical altercation with her DH/SO and were stunned and amazed that they didn't win.  Waaaahhh!  He abused me because he didn't let me win!!!

Quoting laranadtony:

The problem is,if you have daughters ,by the time they are married,it will be like rape.

They(your daughters) will be the criminal until they are proven innocent should they get into a domestic violence situation.


I don't know of one rape case where the victim was not made out to be the liar in the beginning.

"Well,what were you wearing?"

"Why were you there?"

"So no witnesses ,yet there 20 people in the next room?"

Don't sweat the petty things;Don't pet the sweaty things!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on May. 9, 2012 at 3:39 PM

Maybe that's true bc when my husband was abusing me and I called the police they effing believed it was both of us and arrested both of us when I never touched him once. I still can;t figure out how they could do that when he had no marks whatsoever and I had a broken shoulder.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on May. 9, 2012 at 4:04 PM

For attempted murder he only got probation! I am sorry. That is really unnerving.

Quoting Anonymous:

When I married( different guy) he was verbally, mentally and emotionally abusive. The 2nd abusive relationship was worse. Because my physical abuse scars healed. I have a really hard time getting over the emotional and verbal abuse, the name calling, the snide remarks etc.
And no, I didn't get justice. He got a few years probation, anger management classes but that's it!



Quoting Anonymous:

It appears that you are not understanding what the OP is saying. YOU and people in your exact situation are the one's she is defending. She is saying that people who make false accusations are the one's that are taking away from the severity of your situation...BTW, I hope you got justice.


Quoting Anonymous:

So I am crying wolf about the night my ex BF fractured my skull, fractured my neck, broke my back, broke my nose, fractured my jaw,made me miscarry our baby and left me for dead? His reason for beating me?, I had gone to a rock concert without asking his permission.

 



Anonymous
by Anonymous 9 on May. 9, 2012 at 4:20 PM
I understand what you are saying. I was in a domestic abuse support group of about 9 women, and 3 of us realized that our abuse was not completely one-sided. In my case, I was verbally abusive to my husband, and once physically. The other two women also admitted that there was abuse on their side also. I thought for a long done that I was a total victim and I did nothing to deserve what happened, and though I believe they no one deserves to be hit, I wasn't innocent either. So I understand where you're coming from. I also understand why some women might be offended because not all cases are like this, but from my own experience, I agree with you.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 10 on May. 9, 2012 at 4:22 PM

i agree, and honestly I bet in many cases the women are the controlling abusive ones.

moosesmom
by Ruby Member on May. 9, 2012 at 4:25 PM
Well said

Quoting brettsmomma:

 What seems trivial to you might not be to someone else. What seems important to you might not be so important to someone else. We are all different yet humans with thoughts and feelings. Whats it to you if someone comes in here and vents? Better here then at home..

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