Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I just told my bf to choose. *update in OP*

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

UPDATE: So His mom got the e-mail and texted him basically being a bitch about it calling me hateful and disrespectful etc and telling him "good luck in life, with that woman  you're going to need it". He e-mailed her telling her that he had "okayed" me to send the e-mail and that he had agreed with what I said. He defended me and said that if she had simply apologized to me and been a nice person to me none of this would have happened and that it was her fault, not mine and that as his partner it's my job to protect me and stand by me. They e-mailed back and forth a few times with her being a psycho-bitch and him coming to my defense and not buying the crap she was dishing out.He even called her out on some stuff that didn't have to do with me and at the end she said he was hateful and disrespectful and not to e-mail her back. After the e-mails he is fine with her not being in his life. She finally pushed him to his limits. We are happy together and having her gone just means less drama. We were sitting at my parent's house today with my family and the kids there and we were snuggling outside watching everyone play and he looked so happy and smiled at me and said "this is my heaven." I know that he and I will be fine even though we had to cut those two toxic people out of our lives. So say what you will but we're going to be fine.

 My bf has bought me a ring and wants to propose.  I tried to get along with his mom and his sister at first but they are just horrible people that I don't want to be a part of my life or my family. So basically I said that If he wants to be with me then he needs to cut them 95% out of his life. Basically no taking time away from me or our family to go see them or talk to them, no talking about anything going on in our lives with them, no spending holidays with them, not even mothers day. He still has his stepmom and his brothers and sister on his dad's side. He still has his grandparents and aunts and uncles and nieces and nephews on that side. I just want him to have bare minimum communication with his mom and his one sister.  He has agreed to that and she will be finding out shortly because I wrote her an e-mail stating how things are going to be and why. Shit is gona hit the fan when she reads it. Honestly, I do not usually have trouble getting along with people, even in-laws. I got along with my ex- in laws very well, even my ex husband and I are good friends. It's just these women are terrible. So anyway... We'll see what happens when she reads the e-mail. I just can't decided if I'm going to let them come to the wedding or not.

Posted by Anonymous on May. 9, 2012 at 12:48 PM
Replies (21-30):
Mrs_Szontagh
by on May. 9, 2012 at 12:57 PM

not smart lady =/ he will resent you if he doesnt already

BamaMommy2
by Angel.N.Disguise on May. 9, 2012 at 12:58 PM

I don't think making him choose is a good idea. That's still his family and he is going to love them and want a relationship with no matter what. I think this is just going to cause stress on your marriage. You and him need to sit down and set boundaries. What will yall' allow and what will yall' not allow? For example, they should not be disrespecting you and if they do, he should step up and say something. I cpould give better advice if I knew why you hate them so much. You may have already answered that question...I'm fixing to read through the replies now.

Ireallydontcare
by on May. 9, 2012 at 12:59 PM

You have no right to tell him that he can not have communication with this mother especially. YOU don't have to be involved with them at all. YOU don't have to see them. YOU don't have to spend holidays with them, and they do not have to know about your personal life. However, unless and until he wants to cut his mother HIS MOTHER out of his life, I think it is rotten of you to demand it. It should be left up to him

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 9, 2012 at 12:59 PM

 he already chose. and I didn't make him do anything.

Quoting NVL0707:

I hope he chooses them over you! What gives you the right to make him cut out HIS family?

 

TygerLily62
by on May. 9, 2012 at 1:00 PM
Well good luck with that.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
lovin_life85
by on May. 9, 2012 at 1:00 PM

I can't stand some of my S/O family members but I love him and it doesn't kill me to tolerate them on special occasions....and come on Mothers Day??? She gave birth to him. How do you have the right to give him this ultimatum?

Quoting JaimieLynn8:

This.
Just because YOU don't like them doesn't give you the right to demand that he doesn't interact with them.
I hope he smarts up quick. If you're willing to forbid him from seeing his family because you don't like them, I'm sure you'll have no problem banning him from his friends too if you don't approve.
You aren't ready for marriage dear.


Quoting Anonymous:

What is wrong with him seeing his mother w/o you? He has a right to have a relationship with his mother and should not have to make a choice. I damn sure wouldn't marry you.


MizzDeeDee
by Gold Member on May. 9, 2012 at 1:00 PM
2 moms liked this

And you just had to email her too.. to rub it in her face huh? You're a piece of work. If he's smart he'll dump you when he finds out what you did, you control freak.

I don't get along with my in-laws at all but I would NEVER tell him to choose. I'm not in the business of trying to control grown men.

Mommy2ZOEBETH
by on May. 9, 2012 at 1:01 PM

Sounds like a resentment waiting to happen. My own mom is a pretty toxic person who I have had to cut out of my life several times till she can behave herself. I would laugh in my dudes face if he told me I had to choose though.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 9, 2012 at 1:01 PM

Doesn't say much about him, chosing you over his family.....

Quoting Anonymous:

 he already chose. and I didn't make him do anything.

Quoting NVL0707:

I hope he chooses them over you! What gives you the right to make him cut out HIS family?

 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 9, 2012 at 1:01 PM

 he read over the e-mail and agreed before I sent it.

Quoting MizzDeeDee:

And you just had to email her too.. to rub it in her face huh? You're a piece of work. If he's smart he'll dump you when he finds out what you did, you control freak.

I don't get along with my in-laws at all but I would NEVER tell him to choose. I'm not in the business of trying to control grown men.

 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN