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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Tragedy and Loss *kinda long* piog

Posted by on May. 10, 2012 at 4:20 PM
  • 9 Replies

So with mothers day around the corner, yesterday I called my mom to see if she wanted to get together and got some terrible news... let me start with some history

My mother has always been a chronic addict and alcoholic... Its been this way since I was 12... at 14 I went to live wtih my dad for a year while my mom went to rehab... 6 months later she was out and I thought all was perfect which it was for 2 years... shortly before I turned 17 she relapsed... bad worst she had ever been and her and my father in law split.  Me her and my ssiter got a small 2 bedroom apartment but she couldnt hold a job and the only way she was able to make money was by bringing strange men intot he house on various occasions... when I turned 18 I had my grandmother take my sister in and I moved in with my now husband... 

Since then me and my mother have had a very rocky relationship... I dont allow the kids to stay with her and she takes that very offensively but I dont feel safe leaving them with my alcoholic mother.  

now that you have some backround

My mother told me yesterday that she is dying of multiple organ failure... lungs, kidney, and liver... the kidney and liver are both as a result of alcohol her lungs are going bad because of her smoking... she refuses to stop and is slowly commiting suicide... now my issue is... 

Im angry... and hurt... yet I feel selfish... we have tried for many years to get this woman to go get help but she refused stated she wasnt sick... and now I just dontk now what to do... she wont stop and the doctor already told her that he can put her on a donor list.. but at this rate..... well it looks bad... and said if she doesnt stop she can expect it to happen even sooner.... what do i do... how do I cope... my mind is foggy its hard to concentrate at work... I have no time to mourne or think.. I work and when im not at work im with my kids and I refuse to be upset around them... I want their life filled with smiles... but im losing focus fast.

groombrideAlex and Tiffani  03/05/2011
baby boyCale Daniel-05/14/2010
toddler girlNevaeh Marie-Lynn 12/28/07

by on May. 10, 2012 at 4:20 PM
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Replies (1-9):
Alexsangel07
by on May. 10, 2012 at 4:24 PM

BUMP!

kelliehelvie
by on May. 10, 2012 at 4:25 PM

I have never been in a situation like this. I'm so sorry you're going through all of this.

MamaLub
by Gold Member on May. 10, 2012 at 4:28 PM
Write down what you want to say to her. Tell her what you want to say before she dies. You can't focus on saving someone that doesn't want to save themselves.
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Lostinindy
by Platinum Member on May. 10, 2012 at 4:30 PM
I'm sorry. I wish I had words of comfort. I hope you can make peace with the road ahead.
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momo3fgr8tteens
by Ruby Member on May. 10, 2012 at 4:32 PM

The problem is that you can not force her to do or not do something. She has to make the choice to help herself on her own. That is how addictions work. My dh sees people every day that are dying of heart disease but won't change their diets or quit smoking. I know you love your mom but you have a family and yourself tht you need to focus on. You can try to help her but she has to be willing.I am so sorry. Addictions are awful to deal with and sounds like you had a hard childhood but are on the right track with your life. 

Alexsangel07
by on May. 10, 2012 at 4:33 PM

this is a good idea ty

Quoting MamaLub:

Write down what you want to say to her. Tell her what you want to say before she dies. You can't focus on saving someone that doesn't want to save themselves.


Alexsangel07
by on May. 10, 2012 at 4:33 PM

ty I really do try my kids are first before everything... but it just gets stressful because my family comes to me about everything

Quoting momo3fgr8tteens:

The problem is that you can not force her to do or not do something. She has to make the choice to help herself on her own. That is how addictions work. My dh sees people every day that are dying of heart disease but won't change their diets or quit smoking. I know you love your mom but you have a family and yourself tht you need to focus on. You can try to help her but she has to be willing.I am so sorry. Addictions are awful to deal with and sounds like you had a hard childhood but are on the right track with your life. 


luvhubandbabys
by Silver Member on May. 10, 2012 at 4:37 PM
My dad died from that. Only advice say what u want to say to her now. Say ur good byes ahead of time. The chance of her getting organs is slim anyways. If she won't stop there is nothing u can do. She did this to herself. I didn't know my dad had liver disease till his final days he never told us and I lived in another state. When I got there he couldnt talk he was able to squeeze my hand that's it. I just wish I could have heard his voice one last time. I'm sorry ur going thru this.
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Alexsangel07
by on May. 10, 2012 at 4:38 PM

ty

Quoting luvhubandbabys:

My dad died from that. Only advice say what u want to say to her now. Say ur good byes ahead of time. The chance of her getting organs is slim anyways. If she won't stop there is nothing u can do. She did this to herself. I didn't know my dad had liver disease till his final days he never told us and I lived in another state. When I got there he couldnt talk he was able to squeeze my hand that's it. I just wish I could have heard his voice one last time. I'm sorry ur going thru this.


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