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YOU MOTHERF****NG POS!!!!!!!! **ETA***

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Ooooh hell fucking no. I am enraged right now. This is a new low, even for my POS ex. I want to fucking....... well I can't really say, because its that bad.

We are in the middle of a custody battle (shouldnt even be a battle but he is fighting to fight)

He has been grasping at straws, trying to find something on me or my SO to use in court. He won't find a damn thing, and we have shit tons on him.

My 5 yo DD just told me, "My daddy just asked if my Johnny Daddy (my SO) ever touched me in my privates. He told me to tell him he did"

WTF

I asked her. "Well, sweetie what did you say?" 

"I told him, no that is gross, no one is allowed to touch me there and if they do I tell my mommy or miss Rachel (her therapist)"


Thank God my child is so smart. But seriously? You are going to put that in your little girls head? AND WHY? 

I am flipping pissed. He has asked if we hit her, he asks what we feed her, all that crap. BUT THIS? REALLY? You are going to try to RUIN SOMEONES FUCKING LIFE because you are a spiteful irresponsible POS?! 

SO.ANGRY.


******** He is cooked. Fried. I just got off the phone with the counselor, guess she is there til 6 and got my mesage THANK GOD.

She was actually going to be calling me tomorrow morning to talk to me about this. 

Apparently, he also told my DD that John is a very bad person and he needs her to help make him go away.

According to what my DD told her therapist, She said no he is not, he is my other daddy and very nice I love him. It sounds like there was quite the conversation, and apparently this was in person on his last visit. HE also told her not to tell anyone about it. 

It is all in the report. She (therapist) said the police won't do anything with it, but when we go in next week I can sign a release and she can send all those case notes over to my lawyer. 

FRIED. 

I am still fucking furious though. I am literally shaking.*******


The thing is, my SO is an incredible man. His one foul up? He got a DUI a year ago, realized he had a problem went to rehab and has been sober ever since. Next month he will be one year sober. And that was before we met. He is amazing with these girls, they absolutely love him, and he loves them like they are his own kids. So it just pisses me off!!!!!! HE does not deserve to have some asshole trying to slander him like that!

by on May. 10, 2012 at 7:33 PM
Replies (61-70):
Jessiejem
by Gold Member on May. 10, 2012 at 9:26 PM
Quoting SweetPea05:




Sometime the court appoints a guardian at litum ( sp) who represents the child during custody hearings
SweetPea05
by on May. 10, 2012 at 9:30 PM

I didn't know that. Do we need one? Or is that something I should bring up to my attorney?

I am praying we can reach an agreement in mediation. I honestly don't know what he is trying to fight, I offered him more time with the kids than he is already taking with them.... but he wants custody. (Like any judge would uproot them out of state!) 

ugh.

That is another thing. I feel so lost in all of this! Which is why I made sure to get a great lawyer.

Quoting Jessiejem:

Quoting SweetPea05:




Sometime the court appoints a guardian at litum ( sp) who represents the child during custody hearings


Refurbished
by on May. 10, 2012 at 9:44 PM

I get that.  Trust me, I'm on your side on this one.  He's an ass.  From experience, though, sometimes we have to just do whatever we have to in order to keep our kids out of the drama, even if it isn't fair to the adults in the situation.

Every judge is different, but the judge on my case really didn't like step-parents taking a parent's role.  According to my lawyer, my judge always chose the parent "most likely to foster a loving relationship with the other parent" for custody.  Don't even get me started on that one, because sometimes we have really good reasons for limiting contact. 

My lawyer warned me to not bad-mouth my ex in court, only focus on the positive ways that I parented and to keep anyone I was dating out of the picture until after the divorce was final. Talk to your lawyer.  He/she will know how your judge typically rules, but be careful.  This may backfire on you.  If the judge thinks that you've somehow provoked his anger by putting your SO in his parenting roll, they may not take what he is doing seriously.


Quoting SweetPea05:


Here is the thing. My SO is stepping up because my ex simply won't. We originally had a 50/50 custody arrangement. But he took off to another state to live with his parents. Long story. That was over a year ago. I tried letting him have them every other week so he could stay a part of our kids lives but then he refused to bring them home one weekend so I no longer let him take them out of state. Now he comes up MAYBE one weekend a month to see them - he rarely takes them for more than 24 hours. I'm sorry but my SO is here everyday. He helps tuck them in everynight, does everything a daddy does. I have encouraged my ex to come up more but he flakes. And now he is pulling this shit. And I'm done trying to get him to be a father. He can be as pissed off as he wants about my SO stepping up but at the end of the day its his own fault. I see what you are saying, but my so is very good for my kids.


Quoting Refurbished:



Quoting SweetPea05:

Bad enough he had people who were supposed to be my friends spying on my facebook, which I have since purged and made EXTREMELY private, bad enough to find out he slaps her in the face if she calls John daddy. BAD ENOUGH that he spanks her when she won't tell him what she tells her counselor.... and this is all what she HAS told her counselor (aside from the facebook stuff obviously) BUT REALLY? She is an innocent little girl, WHY!

You have every right to be angry.  He is wrong.  DEAD wrong.  But at the same time, if the fact that your SO is stepping into his role is angering him this much, the best thing you can do for your child is have SO step back from the situation.  I'm not saying what dad is doing is right, but if you can prevent your child from going through more of this by not putting SO in his role, then that's what you should do.



BluEyedCrazy
by Christy Ann on May. 10, 2012 at 9:48 PM

My ex told CPS that my fiance and I were forcing my 3 year old daughter to sniff cocaine I think it was? Yeah, clearly we both bred with idiots....lol At least we have awesome kids to show for the whole experience :)

SweetPea05
by on May. 10, 2012 at 10:00 PM

Ugh, that never really even crossed my mind to be honest. 

I don't really know how to have him back off though, especially considering we all live together. We have discussed every big move with my DD's therapist. I talked to her about introducing him to the girls, talked to her before we moved in together, talked to her when the girls started calling him daddy. To make sure we handled everything in the best way possible for the kids. 

I will say, as far as disciplining goes, we both agreed that is best handled by me. He tells them no etc, but for the most part time outs and any other punishments are doled out by me, until all of this mess is over we felt that would be best. 

And I really have tried to foster a relationship with the girls and their bio dad. We are realy careful not to say anything bad in front of them, and when he does stupid stuff like this I put on the kid gloves and just tell her sometimes grownups just aren't always right. 

When he calls at night I answer most of the time so the girls can talk. Once in a while I miss a call because we have something going on. 

As far as bad mouthing, I am not going to bring anything up that is relevant. I am crossing my fingers that mediation works, BUT my lawyer and I have decided to start by pointing out that I am offering much more than he is taking now. Right now he comes up one weekend a month, takes them Friday evening and brings them back Saturday at bedtime, a couple of times has kept them til sunday morning. We are offering every other weekend for a full 48 hours. 

His defense is, he is going to come back "someday" so he wants to retain his custody as is. Well, he has been gone a full year, and shows no signs of coming back. 

UGH just ugh. I can tell you understand where I am at though.

Can I just say I really fucking hate HATE HATE having to walk on glass for this prick? :(

Quoting Refurbished:

I get that.  Trust me, I'm on your side on this one.  He's an ass.  From experience, though, sometimes we have to just do whatever we have to in order to keep our kids out of the drama, even if it isn't fair to the adults in the situation.

Every judge is different, but the judge on my case really didn't like step-parents taking a parent's role.  According to my lawyer, my judge always chose the parent "most likely to foster a loving relationship with the other parent" for custody.  Don't even get me started on that one, because sometimes we have really good reasons for limiting contact. 

My lawyer warned me to not bad-mouth my ex in court, only focus on the positive ways that I parented and to keep anyone I was dating out of the picture until after the divorce was final. Talk to your lawyer.  He/she will know how your judge typically rules, but be careful.  This may backfire on you.  If the judge thinks that you've somehow provoked his anger by putting your SO in his parenting roll, they may not take what he is doing seriously.


Quoting SweetPea05:


Here is the thing. My SO is stepping up because my ex simply won't. We originally had a 50/50 custody arrangement. But he took off to another state to live with his parents. Long story. That was over a year ago. I tried letting him have them every other week so he could stay a part of our kids lives but then he refused to bring them home one weekend so I no longer let him take them out of state. Now he comes up MAYBE one weekend a month to see them - he rarely takes them for more than 24 hours. I'm sorry but my SO is here everyday. He helps tuck them in everynight, does everything a daddy does. I have encouraged my ex to come up more but he flakes. And now he is pulling this shit. And I'm done trying to get him to be a father. He can be as pissed off as he wants about my SO stepping up but at the end of the day its his own fault. I see what you are saying, but my so is very good for my kids.


Quoting Refurbished:



Quoting SweetPea05:

Bad enough he had people who were supposed to be my friends spying on my facebook, which I have since purged and made EXTREMELY private, bad enough to find out he slaps her in the face if she calls John daddy. BAD ENOUGH that he spanks her when she won't tell him what she tells her counselor.... and this is all what she HAS told her counselor (aside from the facebook stuff obviously) BUT REALLY? She is an innocent little girl, WHY!

You have every right to be angry.  He is wrong.  DEAD wrong.  But at the same time, if the fact that your SO is stepping into his role is angering him this much, the best thing you can do for your child is have SO step back from the situation.  I'm not saying what dad is doing is right, but if you can prevent your child from going through more of this by not putting SO in his role, then that's what you should do.




SweetPea05
by on May. 10, 2012 at 10:01 PM
1 mom liked this

Quoting BluEyedCrazy:

My ex told CPS that my fiance and I were forcing my 3 year old daughter to sniff cocaine I think it was? Yeah, clearly we both bred with idiots....lol At least we have awesome kids to show for the whole experience :)

Haha, go us! we get a big ole high five. The kids are super worth it though!!

mrsbrimer
by on May. 10, 2012 at 10:03 PM
Wow. Just wanna say i know what you are going through with the whole DUI thing.. my husband got one last year as well. It saved our marriage. He hasnt had a single drink since. Hes a better husband and father.
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momma4vr
by Gold Member on May. 10, 2012 at 10:06 PM

omg! i hope the judge litterally throws a book at him!

SweetPea05
by on May. 10, 2012 at 10:09 PM

It probably saved my SO's life. He gets his license back next month and keeps saying how he is NEVER losing it again. This last year has been not so fun for him, not being able to drive himself anywhere. He has done a fantastic job staying strong! 

Quoting mrsbrimer:

Wow. Just wanna say i know what you are going through with the whole DUI thing.. my husband got one last year as well. It saved our marriage. He hasnt had a single drink since. Hes a better husband and father.


Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 10, 2012 at 10:11 PM

I want some cupcakes. Anyone have a recipe with a sugary frosting?

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