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Thanks to you, my son is now saying this ... **Update in RED**

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Back Story: 

My son, whom will be 4 next month, has been in a daycare/preschool setting since he was one year old.  (Please, don't bash.  Not everyone is a SAHM, and I have always put him with great people to look out for him, when I couldn't be there.)  In January, I decided to put in a pre-k class.  It's EXACTLY like kindergarten.  It's a great facility.  Great teachers.  In fact he has 3 teachers, that work one on one with him every day.  He has learned SO MUCH!  However, this facility is a "public" facility, and operates very much long the lines as "public" schools.  Which, means they follow a very strict policy of class and race demographics.  I knew this was a "step down" from the private, doctor only kids, type of facilities, but I really thought my child could excel in this type of classroom environment.  Intellectually and socially he has.  However, the demographics are KILLING me!  UGH!  I am normally not one to try to "stand out" from the typically society of class, but I am sorry, we just aren't like these people.  

This last week my son was throwing a tatrum.  Nothing new.  He wanted something, he didn't get it, and he grew a fit.  What three year old doesn't do that occasionally!  I was letting him throw his fit, and then head to time out ... when it happened.  He said it.  F%&# IT!  He in no way, shape, or form ... heard this from me or  his father.  We do not speak this way.  ALL his tv is monitored, and is only download and watched.  Everything has been previewed by one of us, before his eyes or ears come into contact with it.  In fact, we typically only allow ARABIC to be spoken in our home, because that's the only way he is going to become 100% fluent.  So, here is my little, innocent boy ... tell me to ... F%&$ IT!  I am soooo angry!  I know exactly where he picked this up from.  SCHOOL!  I immediately pick up phone and call his teacher, who informs me that ____________ said it class last week, and they told everyone it was a bad word.  Well, she should have notified parents.  AND done something to this kid and family!  I send my child to this school to learn, when I can't be with him, and not to hear language like this!!!!  It's completely ridiculous!  

This is what happens when I take him out of private, and send him with mixed demographic of children.   

So thanks to all the moms and dads out there who think it's okay to let your kids say this ... because now my innocent little boy needs to learn it's inappropriate!  UGH!!!


1.  I am whtie, my children are fair skinned (arabic) and the little boy and his family are white.  How is this racist?

2.  I understand that things happen in private school vs. public just as much if not more.  It really depends on the children and families that attend, and that a private school can be just as graphic.  

BUT!  We are talking about private and public daycare and preschool!  Not jurnior high.  Not high school.  Not even grade school!!!!!!!  Come one people!  know the difference!

3.  I do shelter my child.  He is 3!  I shelter him to the extent that a 3 year old should be!  When he is 5 I will shelter him to the extent that a 5 year old should be ... and so on!  He will be exposed to the world, he just doesn't need to be completely exposed to the world at 3!  Do I let him watch PG-13 movies, nope not at 3!  Do I let him walk to the store himself, nope not at 3!  Do I let him choose which friend to have over for a play date, and what he wants to plan to do with his friend!?  YEP!  Do I let him pick Toy Story, Elmo, or Cars (his favorites) for his TV time.  YEP!  Do I let him play toddler rated games on his ipad. YEP!  HE IS 3 YEARS OLD, OF COURSE HE IS SHELTERED!  HE IS A CHILD, AND IT'S MY PARENTING AND RAISING OF HIM THAT WILL ALLOW HIM TO BE ABLE TO DEAL AND HANDLE WITH SITUATIONS AS THEY ARISE. 

4.  Of course I handled the situation with my son!  I handled it before I called the teacher, before I went to the school (it was already planned that I would be there, I didn't rush down to chew off her head or something!)  I told him that was an inappropriate word.  That we don't use bad words.  That his mommy, daddy, and little brother expect for him never to use those types of words again.  I asked him if he ever heard us say that.  And when he responded NO.  I told him then we expect for him never to say that.  I told him that some kids and adults might say that, but that it doesn't make it right, nor does it make it okay for him.  

He understood, and told me sorry, and that he won't say it again.  It hasn't.   I did PARENT my child.  

5.  At 3 years old, I think it's very early for a child to be exposed to that type of language.  There is just no reason for it.  I don't talk that way, nor does his father.  I understand that at some point he is going to hear this word, and who knows what else, but I 3 years old is really young!  

6.  The story at the school goes like this.  My son says this, I handled it, I then call the teacher (we have very open communication) and told her what happened.  I told her I suspected that this is something he picked up while at preschool.  She more than agreed, and said it has been an "issue" in the class.  She apologized and said she wanted to address this with me when I went to the mothers day tea at the school the next day.  I got there a little early, not for any reason particular, and she asked to talk to me.  At the time, I was the only mom there, and she took me aside to talk to me.  She explained that a child in the class, has been using really foul language.  That it's a daily occurance, and I might hear my son say some other words.  She wanted to ensure me that he didn't pick up from one of the teachers.  That it was addressed to the parent of the child, and since it is appropriate in the eyes of the parent, and the parent request that the child not be punished!  She explained that these words are spoken at home by both parent and child, and that the child uses these words as part of his normal vocabularly.  At this point the parent comes in, realizes we were in a conversation, and interrupts.  Tells me that I shouldn't have a problem with the way her son speaks.  That I should be HAPPY and THANKFUL that her son is teaching my son this, and this will benefit him.  

7.  The teacher decided, prior to me even speaking with her, that every day that reminded students to use GOOD words, and not BAD words.  I think that if this is a daily occurance, and as she said many parents have talked her about it ... then it's appropriate for her to maybe address this concern collectively.  We do get daily e-mails, monthly updates, and quarterly conferences ... at some point this should have been addressed.  imo.  

Posted by Anonymous on May. 11, 2012 at 11:16 PM
Replies (371-377):
by Silver Member on May. 14, 2012 at 8:28 AM
1 mom liked this
Our family, moms, dads, grandparents, ect, use those words. My children, however, don't. We did not teach them that they were naughty and that nobody should use them. As the kids get older, no matter how sheltered are going to hear it. The kids just need to be taught it is an adult word. Raise your kid to not use that word, don't try to change the way everybody else parents to make your job easier.
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by on May. 14, 2012 at 10:13 PM

Quoting Anonymous:

Quoting gummibear08:

Quoting Anonymous:

Quoting marchantmom06:

So you are moving back to your country?

Quoting Anonymous:

Quoting marchantmom06:

What kind of private school are you going to place him in? With what demographics? Just so I can understand.

100% Arab. 

Don't place jokes are sarcasim when you do not know ... thats not an option.  So, NO! 

I believe she made this remark in response to your rather negative view of other demographic groups.  I would suggest that if you do not want "sarcasm" directed at you that you do not make sweeping generalizations about particular demographic groups based on your small experience.

Well, I guess if my friends and family were safe ... then I would go back ... or even visit like I used to.  But really maybe you should be thankful that there is not gun fire, and bombings outside your window.  I am not naive, especially about life, but I do want my 3 year old to stay naive about the world at 3.  He can get exposed in due time.  

I, in no way, said you were wrong, needed to go to another country, or that you wre naive.  I was merely giving you a reasoning behind the comment.  I don't think any toddler should speak this way or be taught to speak this way.  I fully understand how you would be upset at your child saying a bad word.  I would be also.  I would also deal with it.  It is the tone/wording in which you expressed your concerns that has upset people.  Please don't attack me when I never attacked you.

by Silver Member on May. 14, 2012 at 10:25 PM

Quoting miss_lisa:


And I was completely unaware that fuck it was constricted to any particular demographic. I'm pretty sure even Arabs say it. Your post comes off just a tad racist.

Quoting Bknotnobody:

Sorry but eventually he will learn it. Or hear it. He just needs to be taught that it's a bad word. He'd learn it in private school too.

by on May. 14, 2012 at 10:25 PM

So nobody at the school thinks it's a problem that this pre-k kid curses like a sailor on a regular basis and the kid's parents have no interest in changing it. If the child were in middle school, he'd be suspended for cursing in class. I would be unhappy if the school didn't give this kid and his rotten parents the boot at least temporarily.

It's got nothing to do with race or any other demographic nonsense, either. It's just disruptive and wrong if it's going on continually and the parents of the offender have no desire to teach the youngster otherwise.

by on May. 14, 2012 at 10:32 PM
After your updates I completely agree with you Op.
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by on May. 14, 2012 at 10:35 PM
Eh not a huge deal .
by Anonymous 70 on May. 14, 2012 at 10:43 PM
Men ayna anti
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