• In the Spotlight:
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Thanks to you, my son is now saying this ... **Update in RED**

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Back Story: 

My son, whom will be 4 next month, has been in a daycare/preschool setting since he was one year old.  (Please, don't bash.  Not everyone is a SAHM, and I have always put him with great people to look out for him, when I couldn't be there.)  In January, I decided to put in a pre-k class.  It's EXACTLY like kindergarten.  It's a great facility.  Great teachers.  In fact he has 3 teachers, that work one on one with him every day.  He has learned SO MUCH!  However, this facility is a "public" facility, and operates very much long the lines as "public" schools.  Which, means they follow a very strict policy of class and race demographics.  I knew this was a "step down" from the private, doctor only kids, type of facilities, but I really thought my child could excel in this type of classroom environment.  Intellectually and socially he has.  However, the demographics are KILLING me!  UGH!  I am normally not one to try to "stand out" from the typically society of class, but I am sorry, we just aren't like these people.  

This last week my son was throwing a tatrum.  Nothing new.  He wanted something, he didn't get it, and he grew a fit.  What three year old doesn't do that occasionally!  I was letting him throw his fit, and then head to time out ... when it happened.  He said it.  F%&# IT!  He in no way, shape, or form ... heard this from me or  his father.  We do not speak this way.  ALL his tv is monitored, and is only download and watched.  Everything has been previewed by one of us, before his eyes or ears come into contact with it.  In fact, we typically only allow ARABIC to be spoken in our home, because that's the only way he is going to become 100% fluent.  So, here is my little, innocent boy ... tell me to ... F%&$ IT!  I am soooo angry!  I know exactly where he picked this up from.  SCHOOL!  I immediately pick up phone and call his teacher, who informs me that ____________ said it class last week, and they told everyone it was a bad word.  Well, she should have notified parents.  AND done something to this kid and family!  I send my child to this school to learn, when I can't be with him, and not to hear language like this!!!!  It's completely ridiculous!  

This is what happens when I take him out of private, and send him with mixed demographic of children.   

So thanks to all the moms and dads out there who think it's okay to let your kids say this ... because now my innocent little boy needs to learn it's inappropriate!  UGH!!!


1.  I am whtie, my children are fair skinned (arabic) and the little boy and his family are white.  How is this racist?

2.  I understand that things happen in private school vs. public just as much if not more.  It really depends on the children and families that attend, and that a private school can be just as graphic.  

BUT!  We are talking about private and public daycare and preschool!  Not jurnior high.  Not high school.  Not even grade school!!!!!!!  Come one people!  know the difference!

3.  I do shelter my child.  He is 3!  I shelter him to the extent that a 3 year old should be!  When he is 5 I will shelter him to the extent that a 5 year old should be ... and so on!  He will be exposed to the world, he just doesn't need to be completely exposed to the world at 3!  Do I let him watch PG-13 movies, nope not at 3!  Do I let him walk to the store himself, nope not at 3!  Do I let him choose which friend to have over for a play date, and what he wants to plan to do with his friend!?  YEP!  Do I let him pick Toy Story, Elmo, or Cars (his favorites) for his TV time.  YEP!  Do I let him play toddler rated games on his ipad. YEP!  HE IS 3 YEARS OLD, OF COURSE HE IS SHELTERED!  HE IS A CHILD, AND IT'S MY PARENTING AND RAISING OF HIM THAT WILL ALLOW HIM TO BE ABLE TO DEAL AND HANDLE WITH SITUATIONS AS THEY ARISE. 

4.  Of course I handled the situation with my son!  I handled it before I called the teacher, before I went to the school (it was already planned that I would be there, I didn't rush down to chew off her head or something!)  I told him that was an inappropriate word.  That we don't use bad words.  That his mommy, daddy, and little brother expect for him never to use those types of words again.  I asked him if he ever heard us say that.  And when he responded NO.  I told him then we expect for him never to say that.  I told him that some kids and adults might say that, but that it doesn't make it right, nor does it make it okay for him.  

He understood, and told me sorry, and that he won't say it again.  It hasn't.   I did PARENT my child.  

5.  At 3 years old, I think it's very early for a child to be exposed to that type of language.  There is just no reason for it.  I don't talk that way, nor does his father.  I understand that at some point he is going to hear this word, and who knows what else, but I 3 years old is really young!  

6.  The story at the school goes like this.  My son says this, I handled it, I then call the teacher (we have very open communication) and told her what happened.  I told her I suspected that this is something he picked up while at preschool.  She more than agreed, and said it has been an "issue" in the class.  She apologized and said she wanted to address this with me when I went to the mothers day tea at the school the next day.  I got there a little early, not for any reason particular, and she asked to talk to me.  At the time, I was the only mom there, and she took me aside to talk to me.  She explained that a child in the class, has been using really foul language.  That it's a daily occurance, and I might hear my son say some other words.  She wanted to ensure me that he didn't pick up from one of the teachers.  That it was addressed to the parent of the child, and since it is appropriate in the eyes of the parent, and the parent request that the child not be punished!  She explained that these words are spoken at home by both parent and child, and that the child uses these words as part of his normal vocabularly.  At this point the parent comes in, realizes we were in a conversation, and interrupts.  Tells me that I shouldn't have a problem with the way her son speaks.  That I should be HAPPY and THANKFUL that her son is teaching my son this, and this will benefit him.  

7.  The teacher decided, prior to me even speaking with her, that every day that reminded students to use GOOD words, and not BAD words.  I think that if this is a daily occurance, and as she said many parents have talked her about it ... then it's appropriate for her to maybe address this concern collectively.  We do get daily e-mails, monthly updates, and quarterly conferences ... at some point this should have been addressed.  imo.  

Posted by Anonymous on May. 11, 2012 at 11:16 PM
Replies (61-70):
by Anonymous 10 on May. 11, 2012 at 11:39 PM
1 mom liked this
you sound like a bitch and a snob.wow private or not kids will learn bad things and maybe if you get your head out your ass you will realize we live in a society were shit hppens all the time..

do you shelter him too when you go out in public
by on May. 11, 2012 at 11:39 PM
1 mom liked this
Yeah cuz rich snotty parents never say the f word smh. You sound very ignorant. and FYI I went to public school (ooooo scary!) and didn't hear any swear words till the kids from the private middle school came to the only high school. Besides it's just a word get over it. Don't give him attention when he says it and he'll stop since he only wants a reaction don't give it too him. problem solved
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on May. 11, 2012 at 11:39 PM

I actually heard a little boy, MAYBE 5 years old tell his mom to f*** off in a grocery store parking lot, more than onced. I was horrified. My kids would be in SO much trouble she did NOTHING.

I am on your side, I would be livid

by Anonymous 11 on May. 11, 2012 at 11:40 PM
1 mom liked this

Look sweety, this is normal.  You are getting all out of whack over a three year old repeating a swear word.   Why would the school inform you that your child used a naughty word??  

You sound a bit neurotic.

by Anonymous 12 on May. 11, 2012 at 11:40 PM
2 moms liked this
So rich people don't swear?! I didn't know that. I learn something new everyday. ..... you are so full of yourself its not even funny.

Quoting Anonymous:

Quoting Bknotnobody:

Sorry but eventually he will learn it. Or hear it. He just needs to be taught that it's a bad word. He'd learn it in private school too.

He isn't going to "eventually learn it ... " not when his mother censors everything he hears and sees ... because he is only THREE!!!!  Yes, when he is older, and less out of my control, I am sure I will be having these type of parenting experiences.  But at three years old ... NO! ... Not my child!  

He isn't going to learn it in private school.  He was going to a private facility for 1.5 years and never said anything ... NOTHING.  Now it all started with "poopy" and "stupid" and now this ... it's completely ridiculous.  Private school doesn't have to follow or comply with demographics, and everyone is in the upper-middle class to high class range.  Meaning the kids or doctors are not likely to be hearing this language at home, to be then repeating it in class.  So, no, in private pre-k school he wouldn't have been exposed!  

by Ruby Member on May. 11, 2012 at 11:40 PM
And you ASSUME he got it from his mom..what about his dad? Neighbors? Siblings? Other family? Random stranger in the store?

Enjoy your bubble world

Quoting Anonymous:

Quoting leidy2011:

Wow O.o

Idk what to tell you but you seem very uptight and racist. You should just keep your mouth shut because you are coming off as a bitch!

Or maybe that little boy's mom should have kept her mouth shut!!!  Before I had to sound like a one! 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by Angie on May. 11, 2012 at 11:41 PM
2 moms liked this

If this teacher stopped the class every time a kid did or said something out of line for a classroom, she'd be writing notes or calling parents all day long.  BTW...this is your first child isn't it?

Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting Anonymous:

They don't have to inform parents when a child says a bad word. 

Exactly, they do not have to do anything.  But I think the appropriate thing to do would be to notify the parents!!!!  I get notification of all other things big and small ... but this!  Now, I wonder what else I do not know!

by on May. 11, 2012 at 11:41 PM

I can see why you posted this anonymously...SMH...goodnight Cafemom!!

by Gold Member on May. 11, 2012 at 11:41 PM

I guess so!! Its people like this that make me fear for my " demographic ( part asian) son and daughters" to go to school. Just plain sad. SMDH

Quoting momo3fgr8tteens:

I guess they are "above" the other "demographics". My dh is a doctor and my kids go to public school with all demographics and have never said that to me. smh

Quoting Lyssa0587:

she said, " we just aren't like these people." WTF does that mean?? 

Quoting momo3fgr8tteens:

lol, hate to break the news but all "demographics" of kids pic up those words even in "private school".   I guess she will have to find a school with only one "demographic" and society of class. 

Quoting Lyssa0587:

I can't get past this part..." However, this facility is a "public" facility, and operates very much long the lines as "public" schools.  Which, means they follow a very strict policy of class and race demographics.  I knew this was a "step down" from the private, doctor only kids, type of facilities, but I really thought my child could excel in this type of classroom environment.  Intellectually and socially he has.  However, the demographics are KILLING me!  UGH!  I am normally not one to try to "stand out" from the typically society of class, but I am sorry, we just aren't like these people. "  - What are you trying to say before I get my panties in a wad..

by Anonymous 13 on May. 11, 2012 at 11:41 PM
I hate to tell you this, but that stuff happens everywhere...regardless of the "demographics". All you can do, is re-enforce to your child, that those words are not okay. My ds has attended private schools, a public school, a charter school, and next year he's going back to a different private school. It's a long story..., but my point is that he started learning some swear words, all the way back in preschool. It was a private, Christian preschool. He was informed that we don't speak that way, regardless of what he hears at school. He's now 13 and a pretty respectful, good mannered kid. He's still hearing things (much worse things!) at school. He comes right home and tells me about it and asks questions, if necessary. The only way to avoid this kind of thing is to homeschool. Obviously that's not an option for you, since you have to work full-time. It's hard, but you just have to stay diligent about what's acceptable to you. I hate to tell you though, it has little to nothing to do with demographics. It all depends on what the kids hear at home, if they have older siblings, if their parents aren't as diligent as you about what their kid watches on tv, etc...
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)