Thanks to you, my son is now saying this ... **Update in RED**
- 378 Replies
Back Story:
My son, whom will be 4 next month, has been in a daycare/preschool setting since he was one year old. (Please, don't bash. Not everyone is a SAHM, and I have always put him with great people to look out for him, when I couldn't be there.) In January, I decided to put in a pre-k class. It's EXACTLY like kindergarten. It's a great facility. Great teachers. In fact he has 3 teachers, that work one on one with him every day. He has learned SO MUCH! However, this facility is a "public" facility, and operates very much long the lines as "public" schools. Which, means they follow a very strict policy of class and race demographics. I knew this was a "step down" from the private, doctor only kids, type of facilities, but I really thought my child could excel in this type of classroom environment. Intellectually and socially he has. However, the demographics are KILLING me! UGH! I am normally not one to try to "stand out" from the typically society of class, but I am sorry, we just aren't like these people.
This last week my son was throwing a tatrum. Nothing new. He wanted something, he didn't get it, and he grew a fit. What three year old doesn't do that occasionally! I was letting him throw his fit, and then head to time out ... when it happened. He said it. F%&# IT! He in no way, shape, or form ... heard this from me or his father. We do not speak this way. ALL his tv is monitored, and is only download and watched. Everything has been previewed by one of us, before his eyes or ears come into contact with it. In fact, we typically only allow ARABIC to be spoken in our home, because that's the only way he is going to become 100% fluent. So, here is my little, innocent boy ... tell me to ... F%&$ IT! I am soooo angry! I know exactly where he picked this up from. SCHOOL! I immediately pick up phone and call his teacher, who informs me that ____________ said it class last week, and they told everyone it was a bad word. Well, she should have notified parents. AND done something to this kid and family! I send my child to this school to learn, when I can't be with him, and not to hear language like this!!!! It's completely ridiculous!
This is what happens when I take him out of private, and send him with mixed demographic of children.
So thanks to all the moms and dads out there who think it's okay to let your kids say this ... because now my innocent little boy needs to learn it's inappropriate! UGH!!!
Update!
1. I am whtie, my children are fair skinned (arabic) and the little boy and his family are white. How is this racist?
2. I understand that things happen in private school vs. public just as much if not more. It really depends on the children and families that attend, and that a private school can be just as graphic.
BUT! We are talking about private and public daycare and preschool! Not jurnior high. Not high school. Not even grade school!!!!!!! Come one people! know the difference!
3. I do shelter my child. He is 3! I shelter him to the extent that a 3 year old should be! When he is 5 I will shelter him to the extent that a 5 year old should be ... and so on! He will be exposed to the world, he just doesn't need to be completely exposed to the world at 3! Do I let him watch PG-13 movies, nope not at 3! Do I let him walk to the store himself, nope not at 3! Do I let him choose which friend to have over for a play date, and what he wants to plan to do with his friend!? YEP! Do I let him pick Toy Story, Elmo, or Cars (his favorites) for his TV time. YEP! Do I let him play toddler rated games on his ipad. YEP! HE IS 3 YEARS OLD, OF COURSE HE IS SHELTERED! HE IS A CHILD, AND IT'S MY PARENTING AND RAISING OF HIM THAT WILL ALLOW HIM TO BE ABLE TO DEAL AND HANDLE WITH SITUATIONS AS THEY ARISE.
4. Of course I handled the situation with my son! I handled it before I called the teacher, before I went to the school (it was already planned that I would be there, I didn't rush down to chew off her head or something!) I told him that was an inappropriate word. That we don't use bad words. That his mommy, daddy, and little brother expect for him never to use those types of words again. I asked him if he ever heard us say that. And when he responded NO. I told him then we expect for him never to say that. I told him that some kids and adults might say that, but that it doesn't make it right, nor does it make it okay for him.
He understood, and told me sorry, and that he won't say it again. It hasn't. I did PARENT my child.
5. At 3 years old, I think it's very early for a child to be exposed to that type of language. There is just no reason for it. I don't talk that way, nor does his father. I understand that at some point he is going to hear this word, and who knows what else, but I 3 years old is really young!
6. The story at the school goes like this. My son says this, I handled it, I then call the teacher (we have very open communication) and told her what happened. I told her I suspected that this is something he picked up while at preschool. She more than agreed, and said it has been an "issue" in the class. She apologized and said she wanted to address this with me when I went to the mothers day tea at the school the next day. I got there a little early, not for any reason particular, and she asked to talk to me. At the time, I was the only mom there, and she took me aside to talk to me. She explained that a child in the class, has been using really foul language. That it's a daily occurance, and I might hear my son say some other words. She wanted to ensure me that he didn't pick up from one of the teachers. That it was addressed to the parent of the child, and since it is appropriate in the eyes of the parent, and the parent request that the child not be punished! She explained that these words are spoken at home by both parent and child, and that the child uses these words as part of his normal vocabularly. At this point the parent comes in, realizes we were in a conversation, and interrupts. Tells me that I shouldn't have a problem with the way her son speaks. That I should be HAPPY and THANKFUL that her son is teaching my son this, and this will benefit him.
7. The teacher decided, prior to me even speaking with her, that every day that reminded students to use GOOD words, and not BAD words. I think that if this is a daily occurance, and as she said many parents have talked her about it ... then it's appropriate for her to maybe address this concern collectively. We do get daily e-mails, monthly updates, and quarterly conferences ... at some point this should have been addressed. imo.
"My son, whom will be 4 next month, has been in a daycare/preschool setting since he was one year old. (Please, don't bash. Not everyone is a SAHM, and I have always put him with great people to look out for him, when I couldn't be there.) In January, I decided to put in a pre-k class. It's EXACTLY like kindergarten. It's a great facility. Great teachers. In fact he has 3 teachers, that work one on one with him every day. He has learned SO MUCH! However, this facility is a "public" facility, and operates very much long the lines as "public" schools. Which, means they follow a very strict policy of class and race demographics. I knew this was a "step down" from the private, doctor only kids, type of facilities, but I really thought my child could excel in this type of classroom environment. Intellectually and socially he has. However, the demographics are KILLING me! UGH! I am normally not one to try to "stand out" from the typically society of class, but I am sorry, we just aren't like these people. "
Umm, I am not a dr, but my 5 year old son is in a private daycare/preschool. Although if I could have found a daycare like the one I had him in when he was little, I would have. That one was VERY diverse in every way, and he was actually a minority in all ways (white and parents married and living together). And I love how tolerant he is now. He does not ask those embarrassing questions, like "Why is Noah (the one African American child in his daycare) different?" and "Where is JoJo's daddy (another child in the current daycare)?" He sees that Noah is "brown" and JoJo gets picked up by his grandma a lot but it is just a fact. And that is how the world is today.
My point is take your nose out of the air and deal with it. OR if you want to teach your children to be biased, keep it up, and perpetuate the (incorrect) stereotype that Arabic speakers are all filled with hatred and going to grow up to be terrorists.
BTW, when he was around three, he picked up the F word shopping at Macy's.... A very classy looking older lady was on her cellphone and told the person on the other end "F--- You!!!!". He repeated it and I stopped then and there to discuss it with him. (that's a bad word, it is not ok to say it, usually when people say that they say it that way; would you like to have someone say it to you? etc)
key word there is walmart. from how the op wrote her original post it seems to me she would never shop in a walmart.
Quoting Anonymous:
Lmao.....sorry but really they are going to hear these words. DD pick up the word shit from a lady in walmart that was infront of us shopping. I just did give the word and power, reaction and said not that's not a nice word to be saying so let not say it any more silly girl, she has never said it since. You just need to teach them that they are not nice words no matter who says them. Heck there was a little boy in her church preschool that said fuck for like a week before they could get him to stop and DD told him that's not nice word ever time and he stopped, he picked it up from a movie the family watching. No big deal. Life goes on.
HAHA DD has heard people say "bad words" in other stores as well. Target, Gap, JC. People are every where and are going to say what ever they want. Heck just last week we were at a "high end" place for dinner with some friends and the table net to use was all kid of bad words. Our kids were so funny they kept saying they need to go t time out for not following the rules bad words.
Quoting Anonymous:
key word there is walmart. from how the op wrote her original post it seems to me she would never shop in a walmart.
Quoting Anonymous:
Lmao.....sorry but really they are going to hear these words. DD pick up the word shit from a lady in walmart that was infront of us shopping. I just did give the word and power, reaction and said not that's not a nice word to be saying so let not say it any more silly girl, she has never said it since. You just need to teach them that they are not nice words no matter who says them. Heck there was a little boy in her church preschool that said fuck for like a week before they could get him to stop and DD told him that's not nice word ever time and he stopped, he picked it up from a movie the family watching. No big deal. Life goes on.
Quoting Roxygurl:
I am a nanny for an affluent family that lives in a very affluent part of town.....the houses here start at 1.5 million bucks, and thats if you don't get one on the golf course or lake. When waiting to pick the oldest up from school I stand next to the housewives and listen to their disgusting dirty mouths talking about fucking their husbands or how pissed they are at their mil or what fucking idiots the girls are at the nail spa.
My point is cursing has nothing to do with money or demographics sweetheart. Instead maybe you need to pull your child out and homeschool him so that you can shelter him from the big bad world.
Being a SAHM for the past 5 yrs has made me
Whenever you started smoking CIGARETTES means you WERE NOT a virgin.......(girls)