My son called me yesterday for Mother's Day and says he wants to come home now. He is 16 years old.
Back story: About 6 months ago when he still lived with me he fought me to go to school nearly every morning. He would come and go as he wanted although I wouldn't allow it. I had to call the police on him 4 times in 2 months for skipping school or just being worried about where he was at. The last morning he lived with me it got physical and he slammed me into the wall and left bruises all over my arms where he was slinging me around. He then took off and I couldn't find him. That day I pulled him out of school, packed his essentials, then took him to live with my dad and step-mother. Before anyone asks, his dad is deceased so that is why he is not in his life.
I was frustrated. I have 2 other younger children to take care of that didn't need to be around all of that and I was at my wits end. I had tried everything from counseling to spending extra time with him, everything! The only option I thought I had was tough love.
He nearly had me in tears last night and he says he wants to come home. He said that he didn't have anywhere to stay one night and he had to spend the night in a 24 hour coffee shop because he couldn't get in touch with anyone to pick him up. I can't believe my parents were this irresponsible, but I should have known better. They were the same way when I was younger, but I thought they had changed with their older age.
You can offer opinions if you want, but I just needed to get this out. I am wondering if 6 months has been long enough for him to really change his mind and think about his behavior, but at the same time I want him home because if my parents are being the same way they were with me, then he doesn't need to be there. Yes, he is 16, but if everything he says is true then he is not getting the love and attention he needs. I really think it is time he comes home. He never said anything before about what it was like living with my parents until yesterday.
My son called me this morning because he knew I had off today. We had a very long talk about a lot of things. We were on the phone with each other for about 3 hours. He had an old prepaid phone that I went online and added minutes to so we could talk without interruption, just a mother to son talk.
He admitted he knows that most of the things he did was wrong especially the way he treated me. He says he knows I was doing the best I could at the time and he is sorry for that. We talked about him possibly getting his GED and going to a trade school. We talked about how things would be if he came back here to live with me. I promised him he could do things with friends and stuff if he proved he could be trusted to come home when he was supposed to and not disappear on me. He knows that if he ever tries to touch me again that he will go directly to jail and to bootcamp for ungovernable teens.
My 2 younger children will be leaving to go with my exhusband at the beginning of next week and we agreed that he would come here then while they other kids are away so we could really talk and get to the bottom of things and to sort of try things out and see how they go.
We talked about a lot more, but that is a lot to post.