My confession: I was molested as a child (super long)
When I was around 10 or 11, my family and I moved to the country. The area we were in was surrounded by my step-dad's family. His own stepfather livef over the hill and his aunt (?) lived down the street. My stepdad trusted me with these people and I spent much of my time with them.
My stepdad's stepdad cut our grass on his big tractor and I would sit on his lap. He occasionally would grab me between my legs and pull, as if he thought I was slipping. It made me uncomfortable but I didn't realize until later what he was really doing. Some months later, my stepdad found out that he'd raped and molested several boys and kept me away from him.
But this wasn't the only incident. The boy who lived next door touched and rubbed me between my legs once snd asked me if I liked it. I chose to stay away after that.
The part that scares me? Before any of this, the boy and his friend invited me to go for a walk in the woods to see a waterfall. We walked for a long time and never saw it. I kept asking if we were close and it seemed like they kept stalling. We finally went back home.
Nothing happened that day but I keep imagining that they could have raped me that day, left me for dead! I'd completely forgotten about that incident until I remembered the molestation. It really scares me that that could have happened. I think they were planning something but got nervous. I remember them whispering back and fortg quite often.
I never told my parents. I feel like I should. My stepdad started drinking when he found out his stepdad did those things because he was afraid he'd touched me. I told him a long time ago that he didn't and I feel bad that I lied but he's sober now and I don't want to mess things up. But I want to tell my mom and let her decide what to say to him. Do you think I should, or should I leave it in the past?