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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

My home is filthy

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 202 Replies
2 moms liked this

Dishes are piled up by the sink.  The kitchen floor needs swept and mopped.  Counters, table, and stove needs to be wiped down.  The living room is cluttered and needs vacuumed.  I won't even go into what my bedroom and bathroom look like.

I don't want it to be this way.  I'll admit that I'm lazy.  I procrastinate a lot.  My biggest issue, though, is that there is just no end.  No break. 

I can spend all day doing laundry.  Every stitch washed, dried, folded, and put away.  At the end of the day I still have a pile of dirty laundry.

I can wash every dish I own and put them away in the cupboards at the end of the day.  Yet when I go to bed there will be a couple glasses, maybe a bowl and some silverware, sitting by the sink.

I can vacuum the carpeting and as I go to wrap up the cord, someone walks in the house and leaves a sandy footprint.

I sweep the kitchen and at the next meal there's food on the floor.

Even more depressing is that I am the only one who does any cleaning in the house.  So if I don't do it, then it just doesn't get done.

I can't handle not being able to relax for even a day.  If I do let something slide for a day, then I might as well not be doing anything with the way things look.  When I do get the motivation to bring things up to a decent standard, I'm so sick of the task that I don't want to do it again for a long time.

Every now and again, I manage to get into a rhythm where I am able to stay on top of things.  Before I go to bed, my house looks decent.  Clean, but lived in.  That lasts for a week or two.  I once managed a whole month.  Then something happens where I get distracted or I get sick and I let things slide for a day or two.  Once that happens, I'm back to a major mess that I just put off cleaning until I can't put it off any longer.

I know I'll get a lot of "that's just nasty" and "you're lazy", but I really want some help.  How do you face putting away the toys at the end of the day knowing that first thing in the morning they'll be back on the floor?  How do you get over the fact that no matter how much you clean, there's still a mess?

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I want to thank everyone who was willing to sympathize and give advice.  FlyLady looks like an awesome site and I will definitely try to get involved in that.  I know a lot of getting things under control is getting into a routine and forming a habit.  I decided to look into how long it takes for a habit to form, since I'd heard the 30 day thing before.  This article (http://www.spring.org.uk/2009/09/how-long-to-form-a-habit.php) was kind of depressing as it states that it takes an average of 66 days, but can be anywhere between 18 and 254 days depending on how much effort yoiu need to put into the action.

For those who asked, my son will 4 next month.  We had a routine for him to clean up his toys every night before bed.  He was doing really good.  Then I started babysitting a 3 year old and an 18 month old.  They would all take the toys out, but their dad would pick them up before the scheduled clean up time.  While I tried to enforce them cleaning up before they left I got a lot "is this good enough" from their dad who wanted to leave.  If they weren't picked up before they left my son wouldn't pick up his toys because he claimed the other kids made the mess.  I tried to switch it up so that everything was picked up before dinner, but I found it very difficult to stand over them and enforce cleanup while trying to cook dinner.  I finally gave up, but I have every intention of re-introducing a scheduled cleanup time now that I'm not watching them anymore.  My daughter is 11 months, so I don't expect her to clean anything up yet.

No, I'm not depressed.  I've always been like this.  I think a lot of it stemmed from my Dad.  Rather than encouraging me when I would do something he would always criticize me.  What I did was never good enough.  The one time I can remember that he told me I did a good job I had comepletely cleared out my room, vacuumed, carpet cleaned, dusted, organized, folded, and threw away.  HIs line was "If it's worth doing then it's worth doing right."  I developed the mentality that if I can never do a good enough job, then why bother doing the job at all?  I'm not blaming it all on him, but I do believe that is where a lot of my issues come from.

Posted by Anonymous on May. 15, 2012 at 1:05 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 15, 2012 at 1:08 AM
3 moms liked this

 Not to worry when the team from hoarders comes they will clean it for you!

cklamour
by Gold Member on May. 15, 2012 at 1:08 AM
6 moms liked this
Well, you shower although you will get stinky and sweaty again. So, why is cleaning so different???
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 15, 2012 at 1:10 AM
25 moms liked this
Wow, i swear I could have written this myself
outtamymynd
by Ruby Member on May. 15, 2012 at 1:10 AM
4 moms liked this
Pick it up as you go. Don't wait till the end of the day to clean it all up again. Make shoes come off at the door. Make kids clean up after themselves. There's lots you can do to help yourself. You just have to make it a habit. Good luck.
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MumsTheWord571
by Platinum Member on May. 15, 2012 at 1:12 AM
1 mom liked this
Make the kids & DH help you. My DS picks up his own toys- he's 3.5. DH helps with dishes & laundry
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VioletSpirit
by on May. 15, 2012 at 1:13 AM
I feel like you do, but I still clean it daily. Its gotten easier as I got dh to help with it and my toddlers are old enough to help a bit.
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littleacorn
by on May. 15, 2012 at 1:13 AM

I find that getting rid of stuff helps.  If there are fewer toys, there are fewer toys to end up on the floor.  If there are fewer clothes, it is easier to keep up on laundry.  Each member of my family is allowed 5 sets of clothes (10 underwear and about 10 pairs of socks).  I still do a load of laundry every day, but it can only get so piled up before there is nothing else to add to it so it can't ever get completely out of control.    I still struggle sometimes (3-4 kids and a husband so unhelpful he's just as bad as the kids), but I found this book to be IMMENSELY helpful in getting a bit more organized.

hkelly7
by on May. 15, 2012 at 1:13 AM
15 moms liked this

be thankful you have dishes to clean especially loved ones used them. be thankful you have laundry, means everyones clothed and warm, be thankful you were able to get said toys for your kids. and maybe assign some chores to others if possible? keep your headup!

Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 15, 2012 at 1:14 AM
2 moms liked this

I could have written this post. This is me. I feel 100 percent the same. I keep clean for a while, then I want to relax, it gets messy, and we start over. Its annoying, I am a bad housewife and I feel bad about it. I WISH I WAS OCD!!!!! It would help me a lot!

momoftwo0406
by Ruby Member on May. 15, 2012 at 1:14 AM
1 mom liked this
How old are your kids? Do you work? Married? What do you do with your day?
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