How can I get ds a DNA test without crushing DH?

[Anonymous]

When I was 21 I got pregnant with DS1. I do not know who his father is (yes stupid whorish me). My cycles were not regular so I have no idea when I actually concieved. I was given the due date Jan but delieverd a healthy 8.5lb baby in early December. They were trying everything they could to stop "preterm" labor. I was told after it was a good chance that my due date was wrong (obviously) Anyhow, there are 5 different possibilities 1 guy has taken a DNA and ds wasn't his. The other guy I really suspect it is bc ds has alot of his features and resembles his son. This guy has been after me for a while for a DNA test but I wouldn't let it happen because DH has been a great father to him. Dh came into the picture when DS was 15 months old. He has been wonderful. Dh is also the father to my other 2 children. Possible Bio father has been married to this crazy woman. I've tried talking with them several times and she emails me saying she hopes ds isn't his because she would hate having a step child. ( kinda ironic being he is raising HER other son by a different man) So I wouldn't let my child be subject to that kind of thing. I knew if he would be proven and ds would go there no telling what she would say to him. Anyways, I found out possible Bio father is getting a divorce. I WANT to know if he is Ds's bio but it would crush Dh. We almost divorced when I let the other guy do the DNA test. I want to be able to tell Ds when he gets older who his Bio dad is. I'm not trying to replace Dh as the father but I think DS has the right to know. This guy is a good guy, we broke up over something very stupid and petty but both of us were too hard headed and immature to deal with it and move on. A few weeks later when I found out I was pregnant possible bio dad RAN... didn't talk to me or my best friend anymore (he was friends with her first). It wasn't until after he had his son that he realized what he could be missing out on. 

I'm just stuck, how do I let him take the DNA without crushing DH? DH and I have had issues over the year, we've split up once for 6 months and decided we needed to work on it more. Here it is a year later and honestly, not much has changed. He's just a really good person in DS's life so I hate to jepordize that. I always think though, what will I tell ds when he gets older and asks? What if he has a medical condition one dya and it's something relatives need to be tested for to try for a match? What if I can't find this guy in a few years if life takes him somewhere else??  SO what would you do??

[achorney]

Apply for child support. Fastest way ever to get a DNA test.

[ChloeDolce]

sorry my advice would be of no help to you. I've never encountered or known anyone who has encountered this type of situation and I'll be honest I never understood how anyone could get themself get to that place.  Regardless, best fo luck to you and hope it all works out.

[Refurbished]

One way or another, your son deserves the truth and deserves to know who his biological parent is.  If it were me, I'd take the test, find out the truth and let the chips fall where they fall. 

[SassyJen309]

I've heard they sell dna test at Walgreens.. lol Good luck !!

[brettsmomma]

 My opinion is probably an unpopular one but here goes.
If your DH is the only father your son has known then why do you feel you need to tell him different? If the other guy REALLY wanted to know he would have taken you to court already. I say let it be.

[.Pagan.]

i would have him tested. if your SO gets mad then he gets mad...in the end i wouldn't sacrifice my son not knowing at least the name of his bio dad unless the man was a sex offender or violent.

[mommy259]

Think of it this way....You would be doing it for your son's sake..DH might be upset, but at the end of the day you need to do what is right and that it find out who your son's bio dad truly is

[.Pagan.]

walmart online has them too

Quoting SassyJen309:

I've heard they sell dna test at Walgreens.. lol Good luck !!

[tginn20]

For medical reasons, you should know who the bio father is. If for some reason your child gets sick or something- the bio fathers medical history will be VERY important. Try that approach- but just keep in mind that if you follow thru w/ this and it is proven that he is your childs father, then he might fight for visitation.

[Laura_N_Texas]

He needs to stop and put himself in your shoes then. He needs to understand that your not trying to replace him. If that were the case, you would have done this from the start.

Quoting Anonymous:

He knows he's not the bio but he just feels like I'm saying he's not good enough. That's not it bc even though we've had our problems he's been amazing to all 3. He just doesn't understand why I want to do this.

Quoting my3littleboys:

Your DH clearly knows he is not the one who provided the sperm to make this child....he needs to chill! Let the other guy take you for DNA testing then your man can't say anything. He shouldn't even say anything anyways....for the sake of the hild let him know his roots!