When I was 21 I got pregnant with DS1. I do not know who his father is (yes stupid whorish me). My cycles were not regular so I have no idea when I actually concieved. I was given the due date Jan but delieverd a healthy 8.5lb baby in early December. They were trying everything they could to stop "preterm" labor. I was told after it was a good chance that my due date was wrong (obviously) Anyhow, there are 5 different possibilities 1 guy has taken a DNA and ds wasn't his. The other guy I really suspect it is bc ds has alot of his features and resembles his son. This guy has been after me for a while for a DNA test but I wouldn't let it happen because DH has been a great father to him. Dh came into the picture when DS was 15 months old. He has been wonderful. Dh is also the father to my other 2 children. Possible Bio father has been married to this crazy woman. I've tried talking with them several times and she emails me saying she hopes ds isn't his because she would hate having a step child. ( kinda ironic being he is raising HER other son by a different man) So I wouldn't let my child be subject to that kind of thing. I knew if he would be proven and ds would go there no telling what she would say to him. Anyways, I found out possible Bio father is getting a divorce. I WANT to know if he is Ds's bio but it would crush Dh. We almost divorced when I let the other guy do the DNA test. I want to be able to tell Ds when he gets older who his Bio dad is. I'm not trying to replace Dh as the father but I think DS has the right to know. This guy is a good guy, we broke up over something very stupid and petty but both of us were too hard headed and immature to deal with it and move on. A few weeks later when I found out I was pregnant possible bio dad RAN... didn't talk to me or my best friend anymore (he was friends with her first). It wasn't until after he had his son that he realized what he could be missing out on.
I'm just stuck, how do I let him take the DNA without crushing DH? DH and I have had issues over the year, we've split up once for 6 months and decided we needed to work on it more. Here it is a year later and honestly, not much has changed. He's just a really good person in DS's life so I hate to jepordize that. I always think though, what will I tell ds when he gets older and asks? What if he has a medical condition one dya and it's something relatives need to be tested for to try for a match? What if I can't find this guy in a few years if life takes him somewhere else?? SO what would you do??