...I know a good bit of you just came in to this post with a pitch fork, and a giant vein popping out of your forehead, ready to blast "Allow? ALLOW?!!!" at me, but I have noticed.
A lot of women get turned upside down when other women say they don't allow their husband to do certain things. I understand. Being controlling is not appealing and not very good for a marriage, but I think there is a balance somewhere in the middle, and yes, even you who have cows when people say they don't allow their husband to do things, have set boundaries for your own husband's as well.
To not allow something means it is forbidden. Right? To allow it means it isn't forbidden. Simple.
Are you saying, that you allow your husband to cheat? No. you do not. I am pretty sure 99% of you don't, anyways. Of course he can make the decision to cheat regardless, but that doesn't mean you allow it, do you? I am pretty sure most of you have severe consequences if you discovered he was unfaithful.
In a marriage, there is nothing wrong with making healthy bounderies out of respect for each other. It's not the same as being controlling. It's about respect and love. So, no. If my husband wants to stay in a marriage with me there are certain things I won't "allow" him to do. Likewise with him.
Yes, once again. We can always choose to do those things anyways, but that still doesn't mean I will allow it or tolerate it in my marriage. That would be a breech of trust and trust is vital to a marriage.
Yes, he is a grown man and he can choose to do anything he wants, but we are in a marriage and those decisions can either make or break our marriage, so out of loyalty to our marriage, there are just some things we don't allow. It's no big deal. We don't consider ourselves controlling, and I think people over react about this a lot.
I wouldn't allow him to hit me, cheat on me, flirt with other people heavily, call me names etc. I have set bounderies, and I don't allow him to do everything he wants, and I think none of you can honestly say all of the things I mentioned are allowed in your marriage.