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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I don't allow my husband...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 109 Replies
9 moms liked this

...I know a good bit of you just came in to this post with a pitch fork, and a giant vein popping out of your forehead, ready to blast "Allow? ALLOW?!!!" at me, but I have noticed.

A lot of women get turned upside down when other women say they don't allow their husband to do certain things. I understand. Being controlling is not appealing and not very good for a marriage, but I think there is a balance somewhere in the middle, and yes, even you who have cows when people say they don't allow their husband to do things, have set boundaries for your own husband's as well. 

To not allow something means it is forbidden. Right? To allow it means it isn't forbidden. Simple.

Are you saying, that you allow your husband to cheat? No. you do not. I am pretty sure 99% of you don't, anyways. Of course he can make the decision to cheat regardless, but that doesn't mean you allow it, do you? I am pretty sure most of you have severe consequences if you discovered he was unfaithful. 

In a marriage, there is nothing wrong with making healthy bounderies out of respect for each other. It's not the same as being controlling. It's about respect and love. So, no. If my husband wants to stay in a marriage with me there are certain things I won't "allow" him to do. Likewise with him. 

Yes, once again. We can always choose to do those things anyways, but that still doesn't mean I will allow it or tolerate it in my marriage. That would be a breech of trust and trust is vital to a marriage.

Yes, he is a grown man and he can choose to do anything he wants, but we are in a marriage and those decisions can either make or break our marriage, so out of loyalty to our marriage, there are just some things we don't allow. It's no big deal. We don't consider ourselves controlling, and I think people over react about this a lot.

I wouldn't allow him to hit me, cheat on me, flirt with other people heavily, call me names etc. I have set bounderies, and I don't allow him to do everything he wants, and I think none of you can honestly say all of the things I mentioned are allowed in your marriage.


Posted by Anonymous on May. 16, 2012 at 2:50 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Rose87
by on May. 16, 2012 at 2:51 AM
21 moms liked this
I don't allow my husband to allow me to allow or not allow him to do something.



He's a grown man and knows what is acceptable and what isn't. Enough said.
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LaughCryLive
by Ruby Member on May. 16, 2012 at 2:51 AM
Ok.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 16, 2012 at 2:52 AM

I agree!

thehickinhickor
by Platinum Member on May. 16, 2012 at 2:53 AM
6 moms liked this
It's different saying i won't allow you to play a game or go out with friend or wear something is controlling

Not allowing yourself to be a doormat is different
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 16, 2012 at 2:53 AM

Oookay...

Quoting LaughCryLive:

Ok.


lovelove211
by Platinum Member on May. 16, 2012 at 2:54 AM
1 mom liked this
I agree and I expect the same out of my marriage
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college.mom
by Mindi on May. 16, 2012 at 2:54 AM
Hm. I guess I agree. I don't know I don't like the way you are phrasing it...but the premise...yeah
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LaughCryLive
by Ruby Member on May. 16, 2012 at 2:55 AM
Yeah I once read a post where she wouldn't allow her husband to go to a friends house once a week for game night because the friends drank beer and smoked inside their own home. Lol


Quoting thehickinhickor:

It's different saying i won't allow you to play a game or go out with friend or wear something is controlling



Not allowing yourself to be a doormat is different

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oceanus407
by Bronze Member on May. 16, 2012 at 2:55 AM
Hahaha. The only thing my husband had ever specified isn't ”allowed” is me getting my nose pierced. He just doesn't like it. And I agree with your post
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pasteeater
by on May. 16, 2012 at 2:55 AM
6 moms liked this
I think you're confusing common sense with being controlled. It looks good in text but in reality it's about love and respect.
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