Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

want to put my 4 yo special needs child up for adoption...

Posted by   + Show Post

so today i was reading a fan site for a teen mom that gave their baby up for adoption. one other member replied to the post that they have a 4 year old special needs daughter and wanted to put her up for adoption because they didnt want to care for her any more; my opinion is this, they are going to damage this little girl. she is already special needs and then you are going to abandon her? makes my heart hurt for her. how could a mother just give up their child that old? if you are going to give them up do it while they are a baby. i looked at this womans facebook profile and she has another younger child and it looks like she already put the 4 yo in foster care and is keeping the new child. opinion please.blank stare

by on May. 16, 2012 at 4:56 PM
Replies (11-20):
sunfireprincess
by on May. 16, 2012 at 5:09 PM
I agree!!!

Quoting Anonymous:

Some people shouldn't breed. What a crock. That poor sweet little girl.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
shivasgirl
by Platinum Member on May. 16, 2012 at 5:12 PM

 her needs may not have been as great earlier...maybe the mom thought she could handle it...maybe she lost her support system, as the mom of a special needs child whose condition grows worse every year, I can see her dilemma....as it is we are already coming to terms with the fact my ss may not be able to continue living with us as he becomes older because of his rapidly deteriorating condition. There are also many adoptions of special needs kids where the birth parents are still very active in their child's life..they just dont have the means to care for them on a day to day basis

Quoting aidenmommy2011:

 I agree with this, but it would have been nice if they would have realized it a little sooner.

Quoting shivasgirl:

 sometimes it is better to give a special needs child to someone better able to care for them. It would be better for the little girl to live in a home where the poeple are prepared and possibly have more money and time to support her needs than a struggling parent ....It's sad but sometimes being the best parent to a child is knowing when you cant parent and letting someone who can do it

 

 

TeenerBeener75
by on May. 16, 2012 at 5:14 PM

Honestly, you don't know what that woman is going through mentally, and if she is just emotionally stripped from trying to care for her child who needs more attention than her other one.  I hate to judge others based only on a post or an article, when there is always so much more to the story than what we actually see and hear.  Hopefully that child will be fostered to kind people who will take care of her.  I don't like that she did it...and I think she probably will regret it, but she may have been going through depression about not being able to provide the care she knows her daughter deserves... just another view to consider...

aidenmommy2011
by on May. 16, 2012 at 5:35 PM

 I didn't think of the conditions changing. your right.

I understand not being able to continue to provide the child with the care it needs and finding someone that can and still be a part of the child's life if the child is older.  

Quoting shivasgirl:

 her needs may not have been as great earlier...maybe the mom thought she could handle it...maybe she lost her support system, as the mom of a special needs child whose condition grows worse every year, I can see her dilemma....as it is we are already coming to terms with the fact my ss may not be able to continue living with us as he becomes older because of his rapidly deteriorating condition. There are also many adoptions of special needs kids where the birth parents are still very active in their child's life..they just dont have the means to care for them on a day to day basis

Quoting aidenmommy2011:

 I agree with this, but it would have been nice if they would have realized it a little sooner.

Quoting shivasgirl:

 sometimes it is better to give a special needs child to someone better able to care for them. It would be better for the little girl to live in a home where the poeple are prepared and possibly have more money and time to support her needs than a struggling parent ....It's sad but sometimes being the best parent to a child is knowing when you cant parent and letting someone who can do it

 

 

 

 

Lilypie Breastfeeding tickers



Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on May. 16, 2012 at 5:45 PM
1 mom liked this
I commend any parent that is willing to admit that they do not have what it takes to properly care for their child and that finds a loving person who can.

I know someone who placed her severely autistic, ODD 5-year-old son up for adoption. She was a young, single mom working 2 jobs just to support them. She had no support network and just wasn't able to provide what he needed. She tried for years, but her son was just getting worse.

A really wonderful, STABLE, loving couple adopted him. She was a SAHM to another boy his age and her husband earned a very high income. They had the time, money, and resources to give this boy everything he needed.

It was heartbreaking for the mom, but she felt this was the best thing for her son. They made the transition very slowly and the boy seemed to respond really well to his new family. The mom....well, she's still in therapy, but still feels this was the best option.

I could never judge a parent who is truly considering their child's best interest.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Grumpylilpixy
by on May. 16, 2012 at 5:47 PM

I could never abandon my babies, I have 2 special needed children.

Durkeebaby2
by on May. 16, 2012 at 5:50 PM

.....Kids are not like pets... You can't just rehome them whenever... SMH

Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickersi love my daughters Pictures, Images and Photos

Sassy762
by CAFE SASSY HBIC on May. 16, 2012 at 5:50 PM

 Some women just shouldn't Procreat. Just because they are physically able to have a child DOESN'T mean that they should....SMDH

When I read stuff like this......I wish we had "Forced Sterilization" in the USA

Ctink8189
by Gold Member on May. 16, 2012 at 5:52 PM
That breaks my heart :( but honesty the child might just be better off with a loving family who can care for her the way she needs it. Imagine if she stays in that family, growing up always being the least favorite child over her "perfectly normal" sibling. Sick!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on May. 16, 2012 at 6:53 PM
This breaks my heart. Makes me think she is only giving her away because she has SN :( I hope she finds a good loving family.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN