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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

How much say should a husband have in his wife's hair???

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I'm tired of puting myself last and everyone else first.  Some things should belong to me.  Just because I am a wife and Mother does not mean I don't have basic needs of my own.

Here's the scenario:

I have been married for 12 years and as a former hairstylist I cut my dh's hair and all of our children's hair each month.  They all have styles that would cost more than your average cut.  Meanwhile, I have spent the last several years hating my hair and my appearance to make my dh happy and to wear my hair the way he likes.  I have tried to like my hair long by doing so many different things but the bottom line is that I don't feel like myself with all this long, heavy hair on my head.  Many, many times I have resisted the urge to cut my hair shoulder length because of my dh.

Today I finally could not stand it and went for a cut.  It's right at my shoulders but as far as my dh is concerned it's SHORT.  And, yes, compared to what it was is it short.  But, I feel like I have suffered enough and that my self-esteem is important.  After All, I have to wear my hair on my head.

Well, dh is being a real jerk about it and it's almost making me feel like he's loved me for my long hair instead of for me.  I'm also feeling like it's some kind of control issue.  He has known all these years that I hate myself with long hair.  He has known all this time that I have been wearing something I dislike just to make him happy for a long, long time.  I would thin that he should think about how I feel for a change.

Posted by Anonymous on May. 17, 2012 at 12:53 AM
Replies (1031-1039):
AnnieMcD
by Platinum Member on May. 23, 2012 at 5:34 AM

I would love to go to bed. I've had 2 hours of sleep.  I get off work at 7am.  

*trying to turn off the bitchiness* I really simply disagree with you. IMO the "mutual respect" would be allowing your partner to do what they wish with their own appearance, not forcing them into the box that you happen to like.

We seem to have different opinions on how you respect your partner. I think it's in accepting them for who they are, you seem to think it lies in being the person they want you to be. I don't get it, but whatever works for you I guess. I don't see the respect there, at all. 

Quoting Anonymous:

ill say again. MUTUAL RESPECT. 

i COULD cut my hair. but i CHOOSE not to because he likes it long. 

he COULD cut his hair. but he COOSES not to because i like it long. 

sorry you had a bad day. but seriously girl, go to bed, you are getting way too upset over nothing. 

Quoting AnnieMcD:

I'm being extra bitchy tonight. I'm working a 12 hour shift because my co-worker's a lazy cunt. And CM is filled with morons. If you've been that moron in more than one thread, that's on you. 

And I'm so super sorry CM doesn't have an "I was joking" font, and I'm not a psychic. So, what really happens when your husband wants to cut his hair? What about when you want to cut yours? Since, you know, you were joking and all... 



Avitar
by on May. 23, 2012 at 5:35 AM

Not a whole lot.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 23, 2012 at 5:38 AM

my bad, i thought you said you 'worked' not working. 

its ok to disagree. (in both posts) technically we do allow eachother to do what we want with our hair. but we both choose to leave our hair how the other likes it. its not really being who the other wants us to be. its just hair lol. its not that serious of an issue really. i hope  you get some sleep when you get home. do you have someone to sit with the kids for you while you get some sleep? 

Quoting AnnieMcD:

I would love to go to bed. I've had 2 hours of sleep.  I get off work at 7am.  

*trying to turn off the bitchiness* I really simply disagree with you. IMO the "mutual respect" would be allowing your partner to do what they wish with their own appearance, not forcing them into the box that you happen to like.

We seem to have different opinions on how you respect your partner. I think it's in accepting them for who they are, you seem to think it lies in being the person they want you to be. I don't get it, but whatever works for you I guess. I don't see the respect there, at all. 

Quoting Anonymous:

ill say again. MUTUAL RESPECT. 

i COULD cut my hair. but i CHOOSE not to because he likes it long. 

he COULD cut his hair. but he COOSES not to because i like it long. 

sorry you had a bad day. but seriously girl, go to bed, you are getting way too upset over nothing. 

Quoting AnnieMcD:

I'm being extra bitchy tonight. I'm working a 12 hour shift because my co-worker's a lazy cunt. And CM is filled with morons. If you've been that moron in more than one thread, that's on you. 

And I'm so super sorry CM doesn't have an "I was joking" font, and I'm not a psychic. So, what really happens when your husband wants to cut his hair? What about when you want to cut yours? Since, you know, you were joking and all... 


AnnieMcD
by Platinum Member on May. 23, 2012 at 5:42 AM

Yeah, between husband and the Roommate there's always someone up and around to look after my son. 

Sorry if I was being bitchy. I think this particular peeve comes from growing up in a hispanic family and having my aunts and uncles REALLY believe that a man should be able to choose what his woman does with his hair. I mean to the point that when my mom cut her hair for the first time all of her hispanic co-workers, and all of her aunts, told her that if they came home with hair like that their  husband would do everything from scream at them, to divorce them, to beat the shit out of them.

They were dead serious. 

So, yeah, I get peeved when people say that their partner gets to choose how they wear their hair. My husband hates my hair short. I still cut it like once every couple few years. Cause I get tired of it sometimes and want something different. He doesn't like it, but it's my head. That's always been our philosophy. 

Quoting Anonymous:

my bad, i thought you said you 'worked' not working. 

its ok to disagree. (in both posts) technically we do allow eachother to do what we want with our hair. but we both choose to leave our hair how the other likes it. its not really being who the other wants us to be. its just hair lol. its not that serious of an issue really. i hope  you get some sleep when you get home. do you have someone to sit with the kids for you while you get some sleep? 

Quoting AnnieMcD:

I would love to go to bed. I've had 2 hours of sleep.  I get off work at 7am.  

*trying to turn off the bitchiness* I really simply disagree with you. IMO the "mutual respect" would be allowing your partner to do what they wish with their own appearance, not forcing them into the box that you happen to like.

We seem to have different opinions on how you respect your partner. I think it's in accepting them for who they are, you seem to think it lies in being the person they want you to be. I don't get it, but whatever works for you I guess. I don't see the respect there, at all. 



Gracie-May
by Silver Member on May. 23, 2012 at 5:43 AM
No say at all!!! My now ex didn't want me to due my hair red and have leopard print shaved into the one side. I did it anyway.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 23, 2012 at 5:49 AM
1 mom liked this

ooh that sounds like it sucks! i got lucky and got a hispanic husband whos mother was psychotic and abusive. no one even farted without her say so. she went thru 3 husbands before finding one who just hung his head and did as he was told :( so my DH grew up believing that the woman has all the say and the men just make the money and do as they are told. we fixed that part of him. but i didnt have to deal with the machismo issues. (machismo is the mexican term for those kind of guys you grew up with) 

Quoting AnnieMcD:

Yeah, between husband and the Roommate there's always someone up and around to look after my son. 

Sorry if I was being bitchy. I think this particular peeve comes from growing up in a hispanic family and having my aunts and uncles REALLY believe that a man should be able to choose what his woman does with his hair. I mean to the point that when my mom cut her hair for the first time all of her hispanic co-workers, and all of her aunts, told her that if they came home with hair like that their  husband would do everything from scream at them, to divorce them, to beat the shit out of them.

They were dead serious. 

So, yeah, I get peeved when people say that their partner gets to choose how they wear their hair. My husband hates my hair short. I still cut it like once every couple few years. Cause I get tired of it sometimes and want something different. He doesn't like it, but it's my head. That's always been our philosophy. 

Quoting Anonymous:

my bad, i thought you said you 'worked' not working. 

its ok to disagree. (in both posts) technically we do allow eachother to do what we want with our hair. but we both choose to leave our hair how the other likes it. its not really being who the other wants us to be. its just hair lol. its not that serious of an issue really. i hope  you get some sleep when you get home. do you have someone to sit with the kids for you while you get some sleep? 

Quoting AnnieMcD:

I would love to go to bed. I've had 2 hours of sleep.  I get off work at 7am.  

*trying to turn off the bitchiness* I really simply disagree with you. IMO the "mutual respect" would be allowing your partner to do what they wish with their own appearance, not forcing them into the box that you happen to like.

We seem to have different opinions on how you respect your partner. I think it's in accepting them for who they are, you seem to think it lies in being the person they want you to be. I don't get it, but whatever works for you I guess. I don't see the respect there, at all. 


Itty79
by on May. 23, 2012 at 5:21 PM
You've got to be kidding me?!! I'd move from that state on that reason alone!! That's absolutely the most stupid law I've ever heard!


Quoting littleacorn:

In Michigan, it is against the law for a wife to get her hair cut without her husband's permission. My hair is almost down to my butt and I HATE it...I'm seriously considering breaking the law!

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brio
by on Jun. 11, 2012 at 10:16 PM

you should do whatever you want with your hair. Dont u cut his hair the way he likes? anyway, its ur hair. i can certainly understand about long, thick, heavy hair. I almost have horse hair. Thick, coarse, frizzy, unless i straighten it etc.But after 12 yrs of marriage, he should not be so selfish and let you do what u want with ur own hair. this is just my opinion...

CFSTBSM27
by Silver Member on Jun. 11, 2012 at 10:17 PM
Not much I'd like to cut my hair a lil shorter but lol DF LOVES my thick long hair so don't bother me to keep it long
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