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Question about custody. please help!

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
My ds will be two in july. His bio dad has not seen him once this year, asked about him, nothing. I'm married to someone else and ds sees him as his dad. He's been around since he was about six months old. He calls him dad, and has absolutely no idea who his bio dad is. So bio dad texted me today and said, have ds ready because I'm going to pick him up Saturday. I told him hell no, that he hasn't seen ds in almost seven months ( didn't see him november or december either) and even when he did see ds he would see him for like twenty mins. So, I told him I'm not going to make ds freak out and be scared because you all of a sudden think you can just step up. He has no idea where I live so, idk if he's even serious. I told him I would call the police. Thing is, when I got child support last year we have a paper through cs, not a court order or anything, that states bio dad is supposed to have him every other weekend. But he hasn't even gone by thoes papers. I will not let him take ds. Ds will freak out. He doesn't do good with people he doesn't know. So what should I do!? No bashing please.. and sorry if its confusing. I'm a little upset
Posted by Anonymous on May. 17, 2012 at 2:12 PM
Replies (61-70):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 17, 2012 at 3:30 PM
They DID. We signed the agreement, they submitted it to a judge. He signed it making it a legal court order and mailed us the final copy.

Quoting elleinady:

That they had to go through a COURT to get. They are not a court power.




Quoting Anonymous:

Unless you live in TX (where OP said she does) you can't quote a website and be correct. I live in TX, I got cs AND custody orders from the atty general office in Lubbock. Would you like their number, so you can call and ask them to verify for you that they DO set up custody orders?





Quoting elleinady:





Quoting Anonymous:

Well if she signed ANY form of visitation order and AGREED to it with her signature, she HAS to abide by it.







Quoting elleinady:






Quoting Anonymous:

Yes it is a coury order. Just bc you didn't go through the court doesn't mean shit. The atty general custody/visitations orders are the same as if you'd went to family court. They are signed by a judge.









Quoting Anonymous:

Its not a court order. When we got child support they said we can either follorw what's in the papers or make our own schedule. I will go to jail if it comes down to my son. I will not let him go with a stranger. We can not afford a lawyer or an attorney. So that's out of the question. Who would I call to get full custody? Or to attempt to get full custody?

No they're not. Not in this state.

OP hasn't stated she has, just that she has some papers. And it states very clearly on the TX website that the texas child support office does not enforce visitation and custody. They are two separate issues. I'm willing to bet the EOW stipulation on her papers was merely for calculating the child support amount.


elleinady
by on May. 17, 2012 at 3:31 PM
Regardless of state, federal law does not allow any office of the attorney general to enforce visitation. Federal law trumps all state laws. It's been a rule since I believe 1997.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
elleinady
by on May. 17, 2012 at 3:31 PM
So there you go. They provided it to a COURT power. Then gave it back to you.


Quoting Anonymous:

They DID. We signed the agreement, they submitted it to a judge. He signed it making it a legal court order and mailed us the final copy.



Quoting elleinady:

That they had to go through a COURT to get. They are not a court power.






Quoting Anonymous:

Unless you live in TX (where OP said she does) you can't quote a website and be correct. I live in TX, I got cs AND custody orders from the atty general office in Lubbock. Would you like their number, so you can call and ask them to verify for you that they DO set up custody orders?







Quoting elleinady:






Quoting Anonymous:

Well if she signed ANY form of visitation order and AGREED to it with her signature, she HAS to abide by it.









Quoting elleinady:







Quoting Anonymous:

Yes it is a coury order. Just bc you didn't go through the court doesn't mean shit. The atty general custody/visitations orders are the same as if you'd went to family court. They are signed by a judge.











Quoting Anonymous:

Its not a court order. When we got child support they said we can either follorw what's in the papers or make our own schedule. I will go to jail if it comes down to my son. I will not let him go with a stranger. We can not afford a lawyer or an attorney. So that's out of the question. Who would I call to get full custody? Or to attempt to get full custody?

No they're not. Not in this state.

OP hasn't stated she has, just that she has some papers. And it states very clearly on the TX website that the texas child support office does not enforce visitation and custody. They are two separate issues. I'm willing to bet the EOW stipulation on her papers was merely for calculating the child support amount.



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Red1967
by Member on May. 17, 2012 at 3:31 PM


Quoting Anonymous:

Its not a court order. When we got child support they said we can either follorw what's in the papers or make our own schedule. I will go to jail if it comes down to my son. I will not let him go with a stranger. We can not afford a lawyer or an attorney. So that's out of the question. Who would I call to get full custody? Or to attempt to get full custody?

If you get thrown in jail, now bio-dad has your baby full time. Unfortuately the guy who did all the work and put in all the time and love has no legal rights whatsoever. Call a lawyer...fast. 


If it CAN be knitted......................I can knit it!knitting

elleinady
by on May. 17, 2012 at 3:32 PM
Omg! Right there in black and white on page 7!

https://www.oag.state.tx.us/ag_publications/pdfs/qa_ncp.pdf


Quoting Anonymous:

They DID. We signed the agreement, they submitted it to a judge. He signed it making it a legal court order and mailed us the final copy.



Quoting elleinady:

That they had to go through a COURT to get. They are not a court power.






Quoting Anonymous:

Unless you live in TX (where OP said she does) you can't quote a website and be correct. I live in TX, I got cs AND custody orders from the atty general office in Lubbock. Would you like their number, so you can call and ask them to verify for you that they DO set up custody orders?







Quoting elleinady:






Quoting Anonymous:

Well if she signed ANY form of visitation order and AGREED to it with her signature, she HAS to abide by it.









Quoting elleinady:







Quoting Anonymous:

Yes it is a coury order. Just bc you didn't go through the court doesn't mean shit. The atty general custody/visitations orders are the same as if you'd went to family court. They are signed by a judge.











Quoting Anonymous:

Its not a court order. When we got child support they said we can either follorw what's in the papers or make our own schedule. I will go to jail if it comes down to my son. I will not let him go with a stranger. We can not afford a lawyer or an attorney. So that's out of the question. Who would I call to get full custody? Or to attempt to get full custody?

No they're not. Not in this state.

OP hasn't stated she has, just that she has some papers. And it states very clearly on the TX website that the texas child support office does not enforce visitation and custody. They are two separate issues. I'm willing to bet the EOW stipulation on her papers was merely for calculating the child support amount.



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
MrsC2011
by on May. 17, 2012 at 3:34 PM
1 mom liked this

Tell him you'll no longer ask for child support if he agrees to relinquish his parental rights. Then let your current husband adopt him.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 17, 2012 at 3:34 PM
And your point? You're hell bent on that the AG does NOT set up custody. I am telling you they DO bc they DID.

Quoting elleinady:

So there you go. They provided it to a COURT power. Then gave it back to you.




Quoting Anonymous:

They DID. We signed the agreement, they submitted it to a judge. He signed it making it a legal court order and mailed us the final copy.





Quoting elleinady:

That they had to go through a COURT to get. They are not a court power.








Quoting Anonymous:

Unless you live in TX (where OP said she does) you can't quote a website and be correct. I live in TX, I got cs AND custody orders from the atty general office in Lubbock. Would you like their number, so you can call and ask them to verify for you that they DO set up custody orders?









Quoting elleinady:







Quoting Anonymous:

Well if she signed ANY form of visitation order and AGREED to it with her signature, she HAS to abide by it.











Quoting elleinady:








Quoting Anonymous:

Yes it is a coury order. Just bc you didn't go through the court doesn't mean shit. The atty general custody/visitations orders are the same as if you'd went to family court. They are signed by a judge.













Quoting Anonymous:

Its not a court order. When we got child support they said we can either follorw what's in the papers or make our own schedule. I will go to jail if it comes down to my son. I will not let him go with a stranger. We can not afford a lawyer or an attorney. So that's out of the question. Who would I call to get full custody? Or to attempt to get full custody?

No they're not. Not in this state.

OP hasn't stated she has, just that she has some papers. And it states very clearly on the TX website that the texas child support office does not enforce visitation and custody. They are two separate issues. I'm willing to bet the EOW stipulation on her papers was merely for calculating the child support amount.



elleinady
by on May. 17, 2012 at 3:37 PM
Did you learn the three branches of government in school? They're a legislative branch - they must hand off your custody agreement to a judicial branch for it to be valid. They might have skipped a step for you not having to do extra work, but they did not set it up anymore than a secretary makes high level business decisions. They also do not have the power to enforce that order - only the court does.


Quoting Anonymous:

And your point? You're hell bent on that the AG does NOT set up custody. I am telling you they DO bc they DID.



Quoting elleinady:

So there you go. They provided it to a COURT power. Then gave it back to you.






Quoting Anonymous:

They DID. We signed the agreement, they submitted it to a judge. He signed it making it a legal court order and mailed us the final copy.







Quoting elleinady:

That they had to go through a COURT to get. They are not a court power.










Quoting Anonymous:

Unless you live in TX (where OP said she does) you can't quote a website and be correct. I live in TX, I got cs AND custody orders from the atty general office in Lubbock. Would you like their number, so you can call and ask them to verify for you that they DO set up custody orders?











Quoting elleinady:








Quoting Anonymous:

Well if she signed ANY form of visitation order and AGREED to it with her signature, she HAS to abide by it.













Quoting elleinady:









Quoting Anonymous:

Yes it is a coury order. Just bc you didn't go through the court doesn't mean shit. The atty general custody/visitations orders are the same as if you'd went to family court. They are signed by a judge.















Quoting Anonymous:

Its not a court order. When we got child support they said we can either follorw what's in the papers or make our own schedule. I will go to jail if it comes down to my son. I will not let him go with a stranger. We can not afford a lawyer or an attorney. So that's out of the question. Who would I call to get full custody? Or to attempt to get full custody?

No they're not. Not in this state.

OP hasn't stated she has, just that she has some papers. And it states very clearly on the TX website that the texas child support office does not enforce visitation and custody. They are two separate issues. I'm willing to bet the EOW stipulation on her papers was merely for calculating the child support amount.




Posted on CafeMom Mobile
ameliacaldeira
by on May. 17, 2012 at 3:38 PM

i wouldnt let him go either! that MAN is a stranger to your son, and really after being gone for so long he is a stranger TO YOU. 

he does have rights to see your son but letting him go like that NO WAY


super_mom_5
by on May. 17, 2012 at 3:44 PM

if you dont have court papers stating the visitations i wouldnt worry about wether or not he wants to see him. i wouldnt allow him to just pop in like that if i were you. if he wants to be part of your sons life then he can come see him a certain place wether it be your house or a park or somewhere else. to get full custody might be a little hard for any parent unless you can prove that he is a unfit parent or get him to sign over his rights. in the state of oklahoma if one parent makes no contact with the kid for 2 years they automatically lose their rights to the kid if the issue is press. its bs i think but what can you do when the court has a certain law or rule they go by.

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