I just needed to come on here and vent for a minute.
Tomorrow is my 10 year wedding anniversary. We're separated right now, but we're in counseling and trying to work things out. Some days I feel like I'm falling back in love with him and other days I feel like I wish I would have just gotten the divorce. He's trying really hard to show me that he wants me back and he's willing to change, but after so many years of hating him I'm having such a hard time letting it go. We have 3 kids together.
Our oldest son is 7 and he's a genius. He's also a very loving, caring, kind-hearted person, but lately he has become an entitled, spoiled BRAT. What's crazy is that we're poor and he's never been given all of the newest, nicest things. He knows that his dad works hard for the little money we have and that it goes to paying for the things we need to live, but yet he has the nerve to get all snotty with me anytime I won't buy him what he wants when he wants it. I've never given into one of his hissy fits, but he still throws them daily!!
Our daughter is 5. She makes my life a living hell on a daily basis. I love her more than anything in this world, but she is a terror. She wakes up with a scowl on her face and when I smile and say "good morning, angel" she growls at me and kicks the wall. I try SO very hard to be a good, loving mom to her, but she hates life and isn't afraid to show it. She finds something she hates about anything and everything. I almost don't remember what her smile looks like because all I ever see is a horrible scowl on her face. If I ask her what's wrong, she doesn't know. She just screams at me to leave her alone. Last night I laid down in her bed with her and cuddled up to her and I said "Do you know how much I love you? I love you all the way to the moon and back." and I smiled at her...she then spit at me and told me she doesn't love me and never will.
Our youngest son is 2 1/2. He just cries 24/7. There's really not much else I can say about him because that's all he does. If he's not sleeping, he's crying. There's no reason for it either. Trust me, I've brought him to the doctor on several occasions and begged for them to tell me why he cries non stop, but they tell me that he's perfectly healthy and they send me on my way. He talks fine and can have a full conversation with you, so I'll ask him why he's crying, but his responses don't make any sense. Just a few minutes ago I asked him and he said "I don't want it!!" and I asked "You don't want what?" and he just repeated himself over and over again "I don't want it!! I don't want it!!".
I'm a SAHM and I have dedicated the last 7 1/2 years of my life to raising these kids and trying to be the best mom and wife I could possibly be, but I feel like my life is in shambles. The kids fight with each other like they are mortal enemies. They refuse to play together. Every day, I wake up with a smile on my face determined that it's going to be the day that I have a happy family with no yelling, screaming, crying fits and every single day I go to bed crying wondering where I've gone wrong. Why is all of this happening and why can I not just have a happy, loving family? I'm sure some of you are probably thinking that there must be something I'm doing that I'm not telling you that is making them all act this way, but I swear there's not. I'll answer any question you ask. I'm just at my wits end and I don't know what else to do.
I'm sorry I can feel your pain. My life is similar..... I think you just need counciling yourself or family counciling. I actually got a job around Christmas and i actually enjoy getting out of the house at night even if it's only for a few hours. I have 3 kids too: 10, 6 and 5. But unfortunately kids pick up on everything that goes on in the house even if their not around to hear the fighting but it def affects them. I feel for you and I hope you know that your are not the only one feeling the way you do.......
Don't let what other people get you down, we are allowed to feel the way we feel and people on here are very rough with their opinions and judgements. Feel Better!!
My daughter is about to start counseling in the summer. I'm thinking I may see if I can get my oldest son in too to see if it would help any.
Quoting SweetPea05:
Are any of your kids in counseling? It may help, they probably have a lot going on in their heads they don't know how to deal with.
I'm sorry your going through this. I know you said you put a smile on your face everyday thinking that will help. But kids can sense things too. So if you are carrying any stress related to you and your husband they sense it and it could be affecting them even if you dont realize it.
Good luck and hope things get better soon for you and your family.
He's been gone since January, but he's moving back in at the beginning of next week.
I'm considering getting a part time job in the evenings so I don't have to ever leave them at daycare, they can just stay with their daddy while I'm gone. The only problem with that is that I'll never get to see my husband which couldn't possibly be good for our healing process.
Quoting activitymode:
Is your husband living at home? If hes not, thats part of the problem.
You really should get a job. Your toddler won't hate you for it. In fact it will probably help.
The best thing that you could do is get a job as it can help you feel distracted and might help release some tension as well. I find myself in a similar predicament at the moment which I had an argument with my fiancee about me wanting to get a part time job or finishing school up but needing child care for my 2 year old. Hope all goes well with you and wishing you the best of luck....
Quoting DevinAnnesmom:My daughter is about to start counseling in the summer. I'm thinking I may see if I can get my oldest son in too to see if it would help any.
Quoting SweetPea05:
Are any of your kids in counseling? It may help, they probably have a lot going on in their heads they don't know how to deal with.
Sounds like a lot of tension is rubbing off on your kids. Your son is the cause of the other two acting out, crack him and you can calm the other two, they follow in his footsteps. He is acting like a little shit because he is upset about his daddy and mommy not being happy together, kids take it upon themselves more than we think. He needs to get into an activity like a sport and your daughter needs to be put into gymnastics or dance so she can vent in a more healthy way. Stop worrying so much about your 2 1/2 year old, just love him and when he is crying for no reason put him in timeout and tell him when he is done crying he can come play with you. Make mommy time very special and fun for your kids and if they choose to be unhappy then they can go play by themselves. I ignore my son when he is acting for attention and if he is obviously having a bad day, I try to put on his favorite movie or bring out his toys and just sit and play by myself until he joins me and forgets he is upset.
Try to push forward, don't let your kids get into the habit of negativity, that trait will follow them their entire lives.
Overall I think- Kids in strenuous activities, your son needs an attitude adjustment the others will follow.
My nephew just lost his father to a car crash, he is 8, he is still a happy and fun loving child 3 weeks after his fathers death... there are worse things.
Quoting DevinAnnesmom:
My husband wants me to get a job. Not to help with the finances, but to get me out of the house. I would feel guilty though. My oldest is starting 3rd grade and my daughter is starting Kindergarten this year, so my 2 1/2 year old would be the only one that I ever left with anyone else. I'm afraid he would take that personally once he got old enough to realize what happened...kwim?
Quoting areyouatroll:
Get a job.
(Totally serious. Not mean. It will work. )
I'm afraid he would take that personally once he got old enough to realize what happened...kwim
I put my daughter in daycare when she was 2 1/2. She is now three. She loves it. Yes, she cried for the first week and a half. I asked her why and she said she was afraid I was not coming back. Every day for a couple of months, I said "Mommy always comes back." She is totally fine and has fun at her daycare.
Do you ever get hit on even looking a mess?
Why inflict this silly cosmetic pain on a baby!?!
- DevinAnnesmom
on May. 17, 2012 at 2:34 PM