Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I didn't tell him that it might not be his baby..

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 6 Replies

Hi. Before i say anything i want everyone to know that this sort of thing never really happens with me. i never act this way or do these things but i feel like if i get it out about the way i feel then i might be able to move on from the mistake.

Okay so I met a guy in august..i met him right after my daughters dad and i split up in late july. Me and this newer guy (i'll say his name is jimmy) started REALLY liking each other alot. In October we started getting more intimate and sexual. And shortly after he quit speaking with me..I texted him and texted him begging him to say anything. Called. Messaged. Emailed. EVERYTHING! i couldnt get a response out of him for anything...So I took my daughter to see her biological family for halloween. Her dad was there. I'll just get to the point. That night, we had sex. but it wasnt really a love making thing even though we both still had obvious feelings for each other. Idk why we did it. I guess because it was so simple for us to have such casual sex..we had already had such a long history together. He had already seen every part of me so it was too easy to just let happen. I hadnt heard from jimmy in three weeks. At that point i had just figured that i'd let it go. He had sex with me, got what he wanted, and left...right? so anyways...Jimmy calls me the Very next morning...my heart SANK ...He said that work had im too busy..at the same time i was thinking to myself "for three weeks?! you didnt have five mins to spare for three weeks?! Just to call and say hey i'm alive how are you??" anyways...so he gives me this long in depth reason for why he didnt respond to me...He asks if we can meet up in five days to have lunch and spend a day together. I figure.."ok...lets see how this goes.." As soon as we see each other our faces are just Painted with smiles...he treats my daughter like his own..I had planned on telling him about me and her dad's night before the day was over..but i didnt. i couldnt and i dont know why. That day that me and jimmy had lunch together, we had sex. It was different with him...a different kind of feeling. And i just couldnt bring myself to say anything. a week goes by..and i decide to surprise him in his home town by just driving up one evening and spending a few hours with him. My intentions were to try to tell him then. But i didnt. I couldnt and i dont know why...He took me to the piano rooms at the university and serenaded me all night...soon after he took me to the roof of the building and proposed...yep...an THATS what made it so hard to tell him that night...So another week goes by...its two days before my birthday and i'm supposed to meet up with him to talk about some things. When i get there he tells me "move in with me" i was shocked..he seriously went out and bought an apartment JUST so i could move in with him and have plenty of room for my daughter and i. So i didnt tell him once again...i couldnt and i dont know why...A few more weeks go by and its early december...I start feeling tenderness in my breast and mention something to jimmy...He says.."well sweetheart, i cant have kids..if you are it'll be a real miracle.." So a weekend goes by and i decide to test..BAM! i'm pregnant. He just gets SO excited..So i feel like i should tell him then. But i didnt..I couldnt and i dont know why. The first ultrasound roles around. (most accurate throughtout the pregnancy) and puts the date of conception RIGHT on the day jimmy and i had sex at our lunch day. But i know as well as many others that those things can be wrong and a little bit off sometime. Seeing how i had just had sex with my daughters dad a week before that it kept eating away inside of me that i may not know who the father is. I kept telling myself jimmy had to be the dad...he just had to be because i had my daughters dad use a condom..even though i KNEW that wasnt 100% effective. I had checked the condoms out of fear of being pregnant again and they were still in tact...So i'm in my last week of my second trimester now..Two weeks ago, we had a 4d ultrasound..i was hoping to distinguish features so that i could maybe get a good idea...one thing that jimmy and i both noticed is that the baby looked TOO much like my daughter..jimmy jokingly said "is there anything you wanna tell me?" "Why does the baby have her dad's lips and nose?" Etc. We never got to see the features because he wouldnt turn his head the right way but we saw enough in black and white that made us have to have this talk. I told him. Finally. And for some reason the weight had not lifted at all. He cried...just like i knew he would. After hours of talking he looked at me and said.."i would NEVER do this for anyone else..but i love you and your daughter and this little boy whether he's mine or not.." So he took me to a friends house. And the next day he came back and we talked some more..he said that if i just never bring it up again that he wouldnt hurt as badly and that he'll still be standing next to me when i have my c section in august to have my son. He said he'd be there for me all the way through. We fight alot..and yet we still have this passion for each other that is to die for...I'm scared for my delivery day though. Its hard to picture my son when i dont know who his other half is. And even though jimmy SAYS he'll be okay..i know its going to kill him if that baby comes out looking like my daughters dad..I know he'll still love him but the emotion there is going to be intense. I'm not really sure why i posted this...but i needed others to hear my story. You may think i'm a bad person..but i was just scared...very scared..I didnt know what to do...i didnt know what to think...but i'm glad i told him...even though it was wrong that i held it in so long i finally did it...and he never left...that to me...is true love...

Posted by Anonymous on May. 18, 2012 at 11:39 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-6):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 18, 2012 at 11:48 AM
1 mom liked this
I highly doubt you were able to distinguish distinct features in an ultrasound.....
Either way good luck and if its not his domt be suprised if he does not stick around. Its one thing to say you will, but when u actually have a newborn in the house and are getting up every few hours and yall are feeling the strain a new baby puts on a relationship, he may decide it isnt worth it, and since its not his, he wont feel like he has to stay
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 18, 2012 at 11:49 AM

 Well.. from what you said it doesn't sound like you two were exclusively together at the point you slept with your DD's father. So I don't really suppose it would be cheating right?

It does suck that you didn't tell him for so long, but now he knows.

The dates seem a little confusing to me though. You conceived in October, is that right? How far are you now?

I wouldn't trust the 4-D sonogram to be any indication. Just do a DNA test after he is born if you want to be 100%

Also, does DD's dad know?

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 18, 2012 at 11:52 AM

The ONLY reason i have to slightly disagree with that. Is because he was there all through my daughters new born stages..she wasnt his. It was stressful but he loved her like he litterally put her inside of me..You are right though..I know there is always going to be a chance that he'll leave if its not his..all i can do is expect the best prepare for the worst..Hopefully he'll stay..but if he doesnt..it'll still be a lesson well learned. It was enough torture living a lie the whole time ya know? But thanks for your feedback.

3xangel
by *Angelicious* on May. 18, 2012 at 11:52 AM


Quoting Anonymous:

I highly doubt you were able to distinguish distinct features in an ultrasound.....

Either way good luck and if its not his domt be suprised if he does not stick around. Its one thing to say you will, but when u actually have a newborn in the house and are getting up every few hours and yall are feeling the strain a new baby puts on a relationship, he may decide it isnt worth it, and since its not his, he wont feel like he has to stay
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 18, 2012 at 11:56 AM

My dd's dad does know. And it didnt feel like cheating when i did it but the feeling felt like i did after i told him. It felt like that me holding it in so long made me a cheater. But I concieved in early november. like the first week. But me and her dad had sex on halloween. so the dates were a week apart. Thats what makes me not know because i know ultrasounds can be as much as a week off..thank you for your response. i appreciate it :]

LilyofPhilly
by Platinum Member on May. 18, 2012 at 11:58 AM

I think you need to start thinking with your head and not your heart. Good luck with everything!

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)