I think people shouldn't get married and/or have kids until after they're 30
Yeah yeah, I'm sure there are exceptions, blah blah blah. But seriously, people change an awful lot between 20 and 30. I know most 18/19 year olds think they're so mature, and that they have everything figured out (I know I did), but really, that's just not the case. You mature a lot in your 20's. Your 20's should be for having fun, going to college, partying, traveling the world, all the stuff you need to cut back on once you settle down and have kids. The things you feel are important when you're 20 are most likely going to change by the time you hit 30.
Obviously, I'd never try to force this view upon people, or make it a law, it's just my opinion.
I see so many posts on her about girls being married before they even turn 20, or having kids (PLANNED kids, even) in their teens. It blows my mind, really it does...
EDIT: Again, this is just my opinion, I am aware a lot of people are going to disagree, which is why I said I'd never try to FORCE it on people. I think it also has to do with how you were raised. Where I'm from, most people don't ever get married, instead they just live together. And when they have kids, it's definitely more normal to do so after 30 than before. Teenage pregnancies are pretty much non-existent.
EDIT II: When I talk about "partying", I don't necessarily mean getting drunk or anything like that. I meant being able to go out with friends on a second's notice, doing a spontaneous road trip, hanging out on the beach all night till the sun comes up, going to concerts, stuff like that. I've never been into getting drunk or doing drugs, that's not what partying means to me.
EDIT III: This is NOT meant to be a judging post at all. I never said women who get married and/or have kids before 30 are bad mothers, or bad wives. I merely believe that being either one of those in your teens or early 20's makes things harder. I think it's harder to go through college, establish a career, become financially stable, and figure out your goals in life while being married and/or raising kids. By no means do I believe it's impossible, or wrong. Everybody does what's right for them. I have no problem with that. I'm not judging people who don't agree with me, or who feel differently. This is merely my opinion, based on my own experiences, my environment growing up, and my group of friends and family.
I'll be 45 next month. My oldest turned 14 yesterday. Do the math. :) I also have a 10 year old and a 2 year old (gasp!). Which means I had my third when I was 42. I don't get the whole "have kids young so you still have time to enjoy your life" school of thought. But hey, different strokes.
Eh. I sort of agree with you. Dh was 19 and I was 20 when we got married and 2 years later welcomed our baby girl. We are very very lucky and though we have both changed and grown up, we did it together and have a strong and healthy marriage. Neither one of us ever were interested in a party phase and we both wanted to be parents. But, again, I know we are very lucky and that in hindsight we should have waited a few more years before getting married and having children.
Quoting Anonymous:
Sorry, I don't want to be pregnant or have babies in my 30's.
Why not? I did. Had great medical insurance, didn't need to worry about money, had a house, and paid maternity leave. Beats the hell out of Medicaid, punliv houseing and food stamps doesn't it? (not that those are the only options.
But seriously, I see young Moms on here struggling, and I am so glad I never had to do that.
I was NOT trying to offend anybody. Obviously, what happened to you was horrible, and you stepped up to the plate and did what you had to do. That is not what I was talking about at all. You were not given a CHOICE. If given a choice, I would have wanted for you to have some more carefree years without having the responsibility of a child. I don't doubt you love your child, and I'm sure you wouldn't want to change a thing now, BUT... if you could have chosen to have that same child a couple of years down the road, could you honestly say you wouldn't rather have done that?
Quoting Anonymous:
"blah blah blah"?
Well, at age 19, I gave birth to a baby from rape. So stick your "blah blah blah" where the sun doesn't shine.
It was 35 25 years ago when my sister was born ( my mom was 34 and they said she was just under advance maternal age )
Quoting .Pagan.:i think the last time i looked it up it was 33
Quoting atyou:
My old boss' doctor told her....at 31...she was considered "advanced maternal age".
Anyone know if that is actually true?
are you ok with another woman calling your husband "hun" or "babe"
- Anouck
on May. 23, 2012 at 12:44 PM