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I think people shouldn't get married and/or have kids until after they're 30

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Yeah yeah, I'm sure there are exceptions, blah blah blah. But seriously, people change an awful lot between 20 and 30. I know most 18/19 year olds think they're so mature, and that they have everything figured out (I know I did), but really, that's just not the case. You mature a lot in your 20's. Your 20's should be for having fun, going to college, partying, traveling the world, all the stuff you need to cut back on once you settle down and have kids. The things you feel are important when you're 20 are most likely going to change by the time you hit 30. 

Obviously, I'd never try to force this view upon people, or make it a law, it's just my opinion. 

I see so many posts on her about girls being married before they even turn 20, or having kids (PLANNED kids, even) in their teens. It blows my mind, really it does... 

EDIT: Again, this is just my opinion, I am aware a lot of people are going to disagree, which is why I said I'd never try to FORCE it on people. I think it also has to do with how you were raised. Where I'm from, most people don't ever get married, instead they just live together. And when they have kids, it's definitely more normal to do so after 30 than before. Teenage pregnancies are pretty much non-existent. 

EDIT II: When I talk about "partying", I don't necessarily mean getting drunk or anything like that. I meant being able to go out with friends on a second's notice, doing a spontaneous road trip, hanging out on the beach all night till the sun comes up, going to concerts, stuff like that. I've never been into getting drunk or doing drugs, that's not what partying means to me. 

EDIT III: This is NOT meant to be a judging post at all. I never said women who get married and/or have kids before 30 are bad mothers, or bad wives. I merely believe that being either one of those in your teens or early 20's makes things harder. I think it's harder to go through college, establish a career, become financially stable, and figure out your goals in life while being married and/or raising kids. By no means do I believe it's impossible, or wrong. Everybody does what's right for them. I have no problem with that. I'm not judging people who don't agree with me, or who feel differently. This is merely my opinion, based on my own experiences, my environment growing up, and my group of friends and family. 

by on May. 23, 2012 at 12:44 PM
Replies (721-730):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 95 on May. 25, 2012 at 3:33 PM

I disagree.

Why should I play around for 12 years after turning 18 till I'm 30?

That seems utterly stupid. I can still go out at a moments notice with my children. YOU BRING THEM WITH! How hard is that?

If it isn't something my children can go to or I don't feel it is safe for them. I would never go there.

Agrippina
by on May. 25, 2012 at 3:37 PM

Agreed. Your early 30s is the perfect time to have kids. I had my first at 27 and sometimes think that was a little young. 

mommy2lexinmark
by Gold Member on May. 25, 2012 at 3:39 PM

 lol...f that....im going to be done having kids by the time im 30...NO WAY am i going to be an old mom, with some young kids....ive seen the terrible effects this has on children, and the older parents! im 27, just had my 5th, and possibly trying for 1-2 more before im 30, and then IM DONE!!! im retiring at a young age, and want to enjoy my kids while im still young....also maybe be alive to enjoy all of my grandchildren, it really sucks growing up with no grandparents after the age of 19.....and knowing that my parents, or at least my mother may not live to see my kids grow up :(

Agrippina
by on May. 25, 2012 at 3:40 PM


Quoting Tea4Tas:


Quoting Anonymous:

I'll be 45 next month. My oldest turned 14 yesterday. Do the math. :) I also have a 10 year old and a 2 year old (gasp!). Which means I had my third when I was 42. I don't get the whole "have kids young so you still have time to enjoy your life" school of thought. But hey, different strokes.

I had my last at 44-when my oldest was 13.  My oldest went off to college the same year my youngest started kindergarten!

Funny the people I know who had kids early are usually watching their Grand kids, not out globetrotting!

Or paying for thier kids college! 

arab.love.19
by on May. 25, 2012 at 3:42 PM
2 moms liked this

Actually I don't agree I know its ur opinion but the older u r it is not as easy to have kids as in ur 20's which is most recommended because of less complications n the chances of conceiving get lower as u age. And not all are completely mature at 30 I know many other women who r mature n settled in their life in their 20's n are doing just fine and happy. 

kfroz0415
by Gold Member on May. 25, 2012 at 3:42 PM

As a 26 year old mother of 2 very planned boys, who has been married for 6 years, I have to disagree. lol 

I, personally, want to be able to enjoy not only my grandchildren, but also my great grandchildren and let's be honest the older you are when you have children the likelihood of that happening decreases. 

You are right when you say it depends on how and where you were raised also. I will admit that I have changed from my early 20's to being on the back half of my 20's, but not nearly as much as some of my friends. I entered my 20's much more responsible than many of them since I was employed by at least one place since turning 15 (I spent 16/17 having up to 3 jobs during the summers), paid for my gas and upkeep of my car, bought my own food my entire senior year, and moved out at 18. By 20 we owned our home, dh had a job that pays well enough to allow me to stay home, and we were just ready. I have relatives that are in their 30's and I would cringe if I heard about them having children because the highlight of their week is going out to the bar and getting fall over drunk.

As always when this is brought up I started rambling. lol I still stand with my opinion that age really doesn't matter as much as individual maturity and priorities. I will say I don't recommend marriage or children to anyone still in high school... I can't even imagine.  

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Mrs.Velasquez
by Silver Member on May. 25, 2012 at 3:44 PM

 

Quoting Anonymous:

Sorry, I don't want to be pregnant or have babies in my 30's.

 

amier82
by on May. 25, 2012 at 3:50 PM

As a almost 30 yr old that is married with 2 kids......i totally agree!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 96 on May. 25, 2012 at 3:51 PM
2 moms liked this

No offence...even though it will inevitably be taken, Ive noticed the majority of CM users are on the younger, less educated, and often narrow minded side. For those with little aspiration in life being a mother is often the default setting, so no surprise many feel they made the right choice by being young mothers.  When it comes down to it  wisdom comes with age, how can you argue with that?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 97 on May. 25, 2012 at 3:56 PM
1 mom liked this

 As a MOTHER i agree with you, i pray my girls go off to college and live life a little before getting married and having kids, as a matter of fact i preach this to my nieces,cousins and any other teen that will listen. But as a YOUNG MOTHER and Wife I found the very first sentence to be a bit offensive with the yeah yeah yeah and blah blah blah remark about some some being exceptions, as if that is just a myth. I thank God i had my Angel Destiny at the age of 16 she truly saved my life. Her father and i were married and even after her death at the age of 4 we beat the odds and are still together raising our other 2 children i taken care of my mother who this year passed away and i am now taking care of my father. I consider my self to be a very happy Mature 23 year old with no regrets.

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