I'm lame, I made a bogus reply to a Craigs List ad. *Edited for the update :(
Short gist of the story:
I made a post on FB about needing a professional list maker, because I was getting tired of making up lists for my daughters birthday party. My prankster friend Joe referred me to a Craig's List post in the Personals, the girl pretty much wrote her ad out list style. He told me she would be a great help with my lists.
So here is her ad:
Just moved to the Parks, and I don't get out too often. So this is my alternative till I get out there some. Yes, this is a serious post... But I'm not going to write a paragraph about myself when I'm so much better at lists.
- Rockford born and raised.
- Bears fan... starting to get into baseball. Cubs :)
- Psych major. Massage therapy minor.
- Too much personality for the average human.
- No kids
- No looking for a hook up. If I was I would be posting in a different category.
- My sarcasm can be taken as rudeness.
- I'm always around to listen... if you're prepared for what I have to say.
- I like my men tall. It's a problem.
- Tattoos are a problem too. When they are good...
- I'll never ride a motorcycle. Ever. Not happening.
- Six Flags will never happen. Take me, and I'll cry.
- 90s cartoons were awesome.
- I love dogs. I need one. Sad face.
- My roommate is my best friend. Sometimes my only friend.
- I lack social grace.
- Big birds and bugs creep me out.
- Random enough yet?
- Music is my therapy.
- I want to play the piano.
- Me. You. Rome? Sounds like a date.
- This is Sparta.
- I smile 95 percent of the time. It's a problem.
- I need to tone some of these curves.
- I never learned how to ride a bike. Sad fact.
- Do I look like a Barbie? I didn't think so either.
- What is your deepest fear?
- How did I spend 420? Sober. Sadly.
That's all I have for right now. It's a little early right now. Your picture gets mine.
So I decided to see if she would help me with my list issue, so this is the reply I sent to her.
Hi. I'm a ** year old Caucasion. I do not own a motorcycle and I am a little active in the music scene. I have a small amount of piano playing skill, meaning I can play Yankee Doodle, Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star and Allouette.
I was referred to your post by my friend. I am interested in a service that you can potentially help me out with. I need some help making some lists. I see your list making skills are outstanding and you have good use of grammar and punctuation (lots and lots of punctuation). My list making needs include grocery lists and weekly "to-do" lists. I have an especially hard list to tackle, that needs to be done by tomorrow afternoon requiring items needed for a party.
If you are interested, I am willing to barter with you. I am experienced with teaching bicycle riding and am willing to run along behind you on the bike and praise you for a job well done. I also keep a supply of band-aids for the inevitable accidents.
In return for the reference to your post I am putting in a good word for my friend. He is tall-ish, with a tattoo. He is a beast in the music scene. Since he has never taken me to Great America, I am sure he can accommodate you and not take you there also. My friend will certainly give you a run for your money in the sarcasm department since he is the 4th most sarcastic person I know. Like you, he has a room mate, in fact he has a few. But I find the best quality he has is his ability to read lists and that would be a great asset to your list making.
*** So far no real reply was made. An email was sent back, but it was basically blank. I did find out it was from someone named Lakeisha and that's all I got. I replied back and let them know it was a blank email, but we will see if I get anything back. Very disappointing :( But still was worth it to see so many of you ladies get a laugh out of it. Even she eventually replies I will post it.