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What is your take on someone that is mentally retarded procreating? My cousin has a friend that is mentally retarded and can't take care of herself fully. She was doing a workshop thing with other people that are mentally retarded. She met a guy and they ended up having sex. She got pregnant. She didn't know she was pregnant till she was about 7 months along. A few months after this baby was born, she got pregnant again with baby number two. She can barely take care of herself. She is with the father of her children. His mom lives with them and she takes care of the two babies as well as them. What is your thought of people that are mentally retarded, have down syndrome, can't take care of them self having babies?
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by on May. 23, 2012 at 5:48 PM
Replies (181-190):
by on May. 24, 2012 at 2:25 PM
How about you worry about if they should be having kids on the same day you let them have a say in whether you should have children or not.
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by on May. 24, 2012 at 2:26 PM

My best friend passed away a while back.   She was wonderful with her special needs son.    He was 17 at the time, and I watched her struggle to make the best decisions for him.   She raised him REALLY well.

He was barely writing his name at 17, and couldn't say a complete sentence, although he could say several words together and make himself understood.    He will always need care.

But...   he was also a 17 year old young man...   he started touching himself when most teens do I suppose, and she taught him over and over what and where and when was appropriate.   He would "flirt" and tease other teen girls, even the cashier at walmart.   He was so funny, cute, and fun-loving.

Well, long story short, his mother and I talked a few times about her struggles with decisions about him and all.   She was leaning toward having him surgically done when he was fully mature.   She was hoping maybe it would help him with a little bit of his sex drive and control as well as keeping him safe from fathering children.  (he didn't have Downs or anything specific, he was just mentally "retarted" or challenged... you pick a word)   But anyway, his father's side of the family had several people that were born like him and his Dad had issues too...   so she felt it was the best option so that he didn't pass along whatever genetic issue they had.  

Plus, many mentally challenged men end up dealing with accusations of sexual assault at one point in their lives simply because they don't have the impulse control or the ability to really "learn" what is appropriate and not appropriate.    She was hoping that by taking responsibility for this aspect of his life, that she would help him in the long run.

She was such a responsible mom.....  I soooooo miss her!!!    We love you, Ellie!!!

by Anonymous 27 on May. 24, 2012 at 2:28 PM
I agree that if they can funtion and take care of themselves, then go for it but if they can't work, and have to live with other people because they need to b taken care of themselves, then absolutely not. Another question to consider is if they r on disability and most likely they r, who financially takes care of the babies? Whether its disability they collect or welfare because they can't work, the answer is the tax payers. That's not fair to the community that has to support them.
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by Ruby Member on May. 24, 2012 at 2:31 PM

I know a Mentally Handicapped woman that has children.  I can't say they shouldn't because her kids are great.  What I will say, is that its necessary that the Men.Handi. have a great support system.  This Men. Handi. lived with her mother and father and raised her children there with her husband.  So long as the child is loved, and is healthy and being raised in an enriching environment, I support the parents no matter the IQ. 

by on May. 24, 2012 at 2:35 PM

I know, I have cerebral palsy. I know it's different for everyone, same with down's. My mom's cousin has down's and he lives on his own but I don't think he would make a fit parent.

Damn! My DD made me hit reply. Anyways......I wanted to end with I believe people who aren't able to provide for their children mentally, physically and emotionally shouldn't have children. I know down's varies with every person. I never said a down's wasn't able to be a parent, just the ones I know aren't able to provide all those needs. 

Quoting HouseMa:

Do you also realize that, like Cerebral Palsy, Epilepsy and Cancer, Down's has varying degrees of severity?  There are people that have high functioning Down's and then there are people who need help bathing, eating, going to the bathroom and getting dressed.

There are people with Down's that drive, work in mainstream places, volunteer, have hobbies and they are some of the most funniest and warm heated people I've ever met.

Quoting .ZombieGirl.:

I'm not on PA and never have been. I provide for my kids. I do know people on PA and I believe they shouldn't have their children for all kinds of reasons beside them being on Welfare.

I know several people with down's and none of them were fit to be parents. 

Quoting HouseMa:

Do you know anyone on welfare/WIC or any sort of state assistance?  Are YOU on state assistance.  If you answered yes to any or both, I guess you shouldn't have your kids and neither should those people you know.

There are lots of people that shouldn't have kids....

I'd be willing to bet that people with Down's or, at least some people with Down's, would make far better parents than your average welfare parent who uses the system to avoid working to pay for their kid.

Quoting .ZombieGirl.:

I don't think anyone that can't care for their children physically, emotionally, and financially should have them.

by on May. 24, 2012 at 2:38 PM

I had a client just give birth to a baby, she is completely happy, moderate MR, with the daddy, lives with his family and they help take care of the baby.  She is a very good mom, but still needs help just like anyone else.  I don't think it's wrong, but if they have no help at all, that would not be good.  I think it depends on the situation.  But babies are wonderful no matter what. 

by on May. 24, 2012 at 2:47 PM

This. Pretty much. If anyone cannot care for their children, they should not have them.

Quoting m3lissa_16:

There are plenty of mentally challenged people who are fully capable of taking care of themselves.

That being said, any person who is incapable of caring for themselves should NOT be having kids. 

If they are adults and want to date, the parents should very seriously consider birth control.

by Anonymous 28 on May. 24, 2012 at 3:17 PM

 I agree with this.

Quoting m3lissa_16:

There are plenty of mentally challenged people who are fully capable of taking care of themselves.

That being said, any person who is incapable of caring for themselves should NOT be having kids. 

If they are adults and want to date, the parents should very seriously consider birth control.

 My cousin is mentally challenged and his gf got pregnant (not by him) she didnt know she was pregnant till she delivered the baby. she went to the hospital because her stomach was hurting and they told her she was pregnant. The baby ended up dying, I'm not sure what from but it was after she brought it home from the hospital. I don't think she should have been able to take the baby home. Her other child was taken from her because she couldn't care for it. She doesn't know who the dad of the baby was. She has no feelings for the baby at all.

by on Jul. 1, 2012 at 10:07 PM
1 mom liked this

Seriously, people? "Defective genes"? There are many reasons for mental retardation, including oxygen deprivation at birth, etc. So, if I have a child who is retarded, that would mean that my genes were defective? By the same standards, that would mean that if I have a child who is a genius, that would mean that my genes were superior, right? So then what happens if I have one child who is retarded and one who is a genius? How would you explain that? That's just plain ridiculous.

Also, for those who take issue with the term "mentally retarded".....WHY? The term just means that someone is mentally SLOWER, hence the word retarded! What's wrong with that?

Before anyone bitches about it, my 13 year old is mentally retarded. That's the correct term and official diagnosis. 

by Ruby Member on Jul. 1, 2012 at 10:16 PM

I really don't know. I used to work for a comapny that took care of the mentally retarded, in their homes and in a group home. My first thought would be they should not have kids. But how would we stop them, that would be a slippery slope.

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