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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I hate what I have become

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 7 Replies

I hate what I have become. When I had my first child (dh and I were only dating and we had broken up. but its still his child) i worked full time. i had great benefits and although i wasnt rolling in the dough i was okay. i was dependent on myself. we got back together adn dh lost his job so we moved back to his homestate

now i am dependent on a man to care for me and my children. i can barely afford to buy my childrens food and i rely on the government to help me out

I want to get a job but with gas prices and child care cost i would pay more for them to be at a sitter than i could ever make. i hate myself. i dont know who i am and this is not the life i wanted for my children (dh works fulltime but does not earn nearly enough to provide for everything and these last two paychecks he has overdrawn his checking account by not looking to see if something cleared)

Posted by Anonymous on May. 24, 2012 at 2:44 PM
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Replies (1-7):
lildensmom
by on May. 24, 2012 at 2:47 PM

Hang in there! How many children do you have and how old are they? I am in kind of the same situation. Just remember that once they are in school, life can change. You could work and regain your confidence then. Til then, just try to be the best that you can for your children. I am using that advice myself right now. Good luck!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 24, 2012 at 2:47 PM

Ok, so what are you going to do about it? 

aj1975
by on May. 24, 2012 at 2:48 PM

A woman can always still work on her goals with little income and time at home.

You are creative; so look at ways to better your situation for your personal life fullfillment while your kids are little, and by the time they are schoolbound and quickly in middle school, etc - you'll be able to have the time to work on the plans you made for yourself when forced to stay at home without income.

It's all about the big picture.

This SAHM time will not last.

Soon all kids will be in school and you'll have time to begin a part time job or volunteer. Find out what you like to do, remember that you might be dependant on him for a paycheck, but he is dependent on you to run an organized and fun house.

Remember that most husbands LIKE a woman who is creative and strives to better herself and those around her.

It is a struggle in the beginning, I know, but it'll smooth out if you have a plan. It will.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 24, 2012 at 2:50 PM

 six almost seven and four year old and three year old. all three are going to school next year

Quoting lildensmom:

Hang in there! How many children do you have and how old are they? I am in kind of the same situation. Just remember that once they are in school, life can change. You could work and regain your confidence then. Til then, just try to be the best that you can for your children. I am using that advice myself right now. Good luck!


JavaLadybug
by on May. 24, 2012 at 2:51 PM

Hugs hunny! I am so sorry and I totally understand your need to vent! Hugs!

                      

                         

                                

KrissyKC
by Platinum Member on May. 24, 2012 at 2:51 PM

I used to mow lawns, babysit, even ran a daycare for a while.   I learned the laws in my state because I didn't want to have to get licensed, just wanted to offer a little daycare... and in my state I can watch up to 4 (plus my own)... so that's what I did.

After the costs, I estimate that I made about 400-500 profit from the business monthly, plus my own kids benefitted from the extra daycare stuff, like playdough, learning toys, supplies, healthy foods, etc...


RhyneX2
by on May. 24, 2012 at 2:53 PM

If there's a will, there's a way! You can't hate yourself, if you aren't happy then make your dh understand your positon and let him know you not only want to better yourself, but better your family. I was in that situation for almost 5 years, I hated what I had become and felt like I lost my self worth and couldn't figure out who I was (other than a mother and wife). Things have flipped all around for me, I'm working, single, and still able to spend as much time with my kids as I can. Don't give up hun, you can change your life around. Sometimes you just have to give it time!

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