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update on page 53 pregnant by a 12 year old! wtf ETA 12 weeks

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
I have custody of my 14 year old niece (as of April). This morning after she left for school, i was cleaning out the trash when i found an ept. I texted her and asked her about it. She ignored me. So i went to her school and had her pulled from class. She tried to say it was one of her girlfriends. Bullshit! In my house, you are guilty until proven innocent. So i went to walgreens and got a test. Soon as she got home i made her pee on the stick. And yup, shes pregnant. Her little boyfriend is 12! Fucking 12! I dont know what im going to do. I have 3 kids of my own, plus her. What really pisses me iff is that she lied. Since she came to live with me, I've always told her to come to me when shes ready to have sex. What the fuck is wrong with kids!


Eta. I just talked to her mom. She said she suspected as much and isn't surprised as shes been spending a lot of time with the boy down the street. Well why didn't you have the talk with her. Or tell me so i could. I had to hang up on her before i said something i regret




Eta

I dropped my niece off at school a bit ago and came home. I can't think. I got her up early and made her show me where this boy lives. The boy said she told him yesterday morning but he thought she was joking. His family is in no position to help. His mom is single an unemployed, he has three younger sisters. The mom wants her to keep it! Yup, she actually had the audacity to say that. The boy is scared shitless. And believe me, i gave them both an earful. I guess i need to make her a doctors appointment and call her counselor.

Thanks for being understanding. For those saying i shouldn't be upset and yell. Im her guardian not her friend. Wait til your kid comes home 14 and pregnant!


Eta

I called a pregnancy center i found online and they do everything. Testing, counseling, adoption, help you after the baby is born. They told me i could bring her in asap. I asked her moms sister to take her, cause honestly im still pissed. D, her other aunt talked to her and the social worker. Shes 12 weeks along. They talked about all her options. And the social worker gave D a bunch of brochures for us to look over. Theres a home for pregnant and teen moms thats a few hours away. The brochure looked good, idk. Im standing firm in my decision that she can not live with me and keep her baby. D said she talked to her on the way home, and shes definitely not thinking realistically. She said she does not want to abort it, and i can respect that. But she doesn't know how hard parenting will be. I honestly feel that adoption is best for all of us. I dont want to pressure her into it. And i will respect whatever decision she makes. 12 weeks is far, and i guess we need to make a decision asap. She has nother appointment with the social worker next Friday, so im going to see if i can go with her. Id really like to have a decision made by then.
Thanks to those of you who have been so supportive. I took her in to try and give her a chance. Now i feel like all of the energy i put in was just a waste.
Posted by Anonymous on May. 24, 2012 at 10:00 PM
Replies (381-390):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 71 on May. 25, 2012 at 8:59 PM
1 mom liked this

  Why was the energy a waste? There are worse things than being pregnant... How are her school grades? Don't give up on her just because she made a mistake and got pregnant. That mistake will end up being some one's blessing if she adopts. What's going to happen to her if she doesn't have someone like you to help her?

MommaSmith678
by on May. 25, 2012 at 9:02 PM
1 mom liked this
Seriously? A 12 and 13 year old are going to financial support a baby? Are you nuts? Mowing lawns won't cover shit. This will be s HUGE burden and responsibility for OP. HUGE! How do you not see that?

Quoting Anonymous:

Mowing lawns is gonna provide for a baby? And who says the boy will step up to the plate? Be realistic, im gonna be be the one caring for it!



Quoting Anonymous:

There are food banks and local things that give free stuff and she could go to those places for help as well and the boy can mow lawns and things like that to help support and help with some of what the baby needs. Stop making excuses and be there for her thats what she really needs right now not someone trying to get rid of her how the hell do you think she got pregnant in the first place because her fn mother didn't care enough

Quoting Anonymous:

My niece isn't the only one going thru this. This is effecting the whole family. Should she decide to keep the baby. Who do you think will be supporting it? Shes 13. She wont be eligible for a summer job until 15, drivers license until 16. Meanwhile, her prenatal appointments i have to get off work to take her. Maturnity clothes falls on me too. Diapers, baby clothes, crib- my responsibility. Babies go to the doctors a lot the first year, whose going to take them? Me. I work 40-50 hours a week to care for her and my three kids. I don't qualify for pa. Shes a minor living under my roof so they go by my income. I love her unconditionally. Had i known she was pregnant before, i would have found an alternative solution. I signed up to care for 1 child because thats what i can do.






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QJsmommy
by Platinum Member on May. 25, 2012 at 9:09 PM
It's like that here so I would make a trip out there to check it out..


Quoting Anonymous:

I haven't called them yet. But if its like what you described, that may be a good option




Quoting QJsmommy:

I know about the teen home and it really helps young girls prepare and they also teach them a lot!! They set them up with their own apartments when they are ready and old enough, I know tons of girls that went through that program and are decent mothers because of it. That would be a great decision! Good luck finding what's the best choice for the situation.


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Anonymous
by Anonymous 61 on May. 25, 2012 at 9:10 PM
3 moms liked this


Quoting Anonymous:

My niece isn't the only one going thru this. This is effecting the whole family. Should she decide to keep the baby. Who do you think will be supporting it? Shes 13. She wont be eligible for a summer job until 15, drivers license until 16. Meanwhile, her prenatal appointments i have to get off work to take her. Maturnity clothes falls on me too. Diapers, baby clothes, crib- my responsibility. Babies go to the doctors a lot the first year, whose going to take them? Me. I work 40-50 hours a week to care for her and my three kids. I don't qualify for pa. Shes a minor living under my roof so they go by my income. I love her unconditionally. Had i known she was pregnant before, i would have found an alternative solution. I signed up to care for 1 child because thats what i can do.

It sounds to me like you have already made your mind up, so why all the post, you are more or less wasting everyone's time. You yourself dont even know about adoption and what kind of adoption situations are out there.  Yea you agreed to take in 1 child and GUESS WHAT, that was not a partial agreement.  You obviously didnt know what you were getting yourself into.  You thought you were doing a good deed.  If you are so burdened why cant the state help you?  Sounds like you took on too much of a responsibility as it is.  Anyway like I said before, at 14 were you the epitome of great children?  If this happened to you would you want someone to kick you out?  1, She doesnt need maternity clothes? 2. Ask family to help you buy things like baby clothes........go to children consignment shops and the salvation army.  3. Sign up for assistance from the state.  You would have 2 additional dependents and they have a slew of programs that would help you out.  But all in all I dont live with you, I dont know what your going through.  But to me the child is a product of bad parenting, her chances of "being a somebody" will be slim to none if you just drop this.  But that has to be on your concious.

Lizard_Lina
by Platinum Member on May. 25, 2012 at 9:17 PM
1 mom liked this
Dude seriously, adoption or abortion. You absolutely have a right to be angry.
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todmom92
by Member on May. 25, 2012 at 9:25 PM

yes the BPs failed(in this case) but I always hear parent bashing of those who have kids as teens and it irks me so badly
 

Quoting Sunivondea:

In some cases I think the parents are at fault. Op said the girls mom is a skank. She probably learned from her. Op was trying to do the right thing and get the poor kid out if that environment. The BM failed.

Quoting todmom92:

excuse me she did not failthe young lady did for having unprotected sex , I am sick of people looking at the care givers/ parents of young teen moms and frankly that's total BS .. The parent should not have to pay for the sins of the child (just a term not  saying she is a big sinner or anything) It upsets me personally because I  Had my child at  17 years old and it has nothing to do with my mother ., I am a good person I am going to college and I am the first of my siblings to get married and actually find a male who isn't abusive in anyway BTW he is the only man I have ever even gone to second base with OK so teen moms are also not whores! just saying just in case some one wants to pull that phrase out of their hat! MY mother and all other parents / guardians are great people and gave us the best that they could so dont blame the parents BITCH!


Quoting Anonymous:

the little punk? dude your niece spread her little slut legs!




you failed!!!!!


Quoting Anonymous:

I dont even know the little punk. She said he lives in her old neighborhood. But shes damn sure going to show me where he lives.





Quoting 2boys_1girl:


Sounds like her and the boy have a lot of growing up to do.




Have you contacted his parents?



 


Baby8901
by on May. 25, 2012 at 9:27 PM
I wasn't hoping around, I had the same boyfriend for 4 years, thank you. I did get pregnant twice, which is why I always checked.


Quoting Anonymous:

 Wow everytime your period was late at her age you sure were hop'n around you sound proud of that ... i wouldn't be.


Quoting Baby8901:

When I was her age, I took a test everytime my period was a day late. Just sayin.



Quoting Ber-Lynn:


Quoting Baby8901:




She Is a child I highly doubt that she realized that soon that she was pregnant. My guess is that she will probably be over a month pregnant.


 


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Joels-My-Love
by on May. 25, 2012 at 9:28 PM
We make $3500 a mth and that will go up... we make great money!

Quoting marchantmom06:

So you didn't actually provide all your childs needs! Someone else did. As a matter of fact you never have provided for your child or children you have been depending on others to do so.

You just proved my point in so many ways.

And 10 kids on a military salary, good luck with that.






Quoting Joels-My-Love:

My exdh worked when we were married. I lived with my grandma. Child support, my ex mil make him give me $200 a wk from his $400 check until I got married so I would never have to work. My husband is in the military,has been since 96





Quoting marchantmom06:

You answered nothing.



You came into this post saying you did it all and teen parenting was a breeze.



How did you support yourself? You were divorced for two years at 15. You couldn't rent your own house or drive so HOW DID YOU LIVE?



You plan on having 10 kids? Lmao what does your husband do?








Quoting Joels-My-Love:

I divorced my exdh at 15yr. married my now DH at 17yr and he was 29yr. We have been married for 6 yrs and have 3 daughters together and plan on having 7 more children together. I am a sahm and housewife and a very happy









Quoting marchantmom06:

Umm at 13 you moved out and got your own place? Can you explain how that worked because most places won't rent to a child. You have to have a cosigner and a job and at 13 again you aren't old enough to work, so how we're the bills paid and the food bought and diapers? Did you graduate? Go to college? What do you do now???












Quoting Joels-My-Love:

I have always been a great mother and I had my oldest at 13yr. I moved out/was kicked out when they found out I was pregnant and then we got our own place. I cooked, cleaned, and took care of my son by myself













Quoting sandraswifey:

That is very sad. A 14 year old is not ready to b a parent. I would definitely get her to a dr and also make sure she knows her choices. I am pro life in most circumstances and would encourage her to consider adoption if u get that far. Good luck.



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Kerseygeek
by on May. 25, 2012 at 9:30 PM

Being angry isn't going to help anyone.  She knows she made a mistake but now it's time to deal with it.  If she wants to keep the baby then help her.  Gather all the support, program help and consignment deals you can to make this work for her.  It will be a hard road but not just for you.  Her life will be quite different and she will have to grow up but with support she could come through this a better person.  Looking at the home she came from, you could be the person who makes sure she has a better future and is confident in the choice she made rather than looking on it with regret.  Wouldn't you want the same for your own kids?

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 25, 2012 at 9:32 PM
1 mom liked this
At 14 i wasnt screwing! My biggest offense was not keeping my room clean. I was an average kid. But maybe this is what average is now. You're right, i was stretching myself thin when i took her in. But like anyone, i did the math. Saw what i could afford and couldnt. What i could afford was ONE extra kid, not two. She doesn't need maternity clothes, what is she supposed to wear? Why is it my responsibility to care for her child? If she were 16 and could get a pt job, id have no problem helping out with necessities. These are the repercussions of having unprotected sex af a young age.


Quoting Anonymous:



Quoting Anonymous:

My niece isn't the only one going thru this. This is effecting the whole family. Should she decide to keep the baby. Who do you think will be supporting it? Shes 13. She wont be eligible for a summer job until 15, drivers license until 16. Meanwhile, her prenatal appointments i have to get off work to take her. Maturnity clothes falls on me too. Diapers, baby clothes, crib- my responsibility. Babies go to the doctors a lot the first year, whose going to take them? Me. I work 40-50 hours a week to care for her and my three kids. I don't qualify for pa. Shes a minor living under my roof so they go by my income. I love her unconditionally. Had i known she was pregnant before, i would have found an alternative solution. I signed up to care for 1 child because thats what i can do.

It sounds to me like you have already made your mind up, so why all the post, you are more or less wasting everyone's time. You yourself dont even know about adoption and what kind of adoption situations are out there.  Yea you agreed to take in 1 child and GUESS WHAT, that was not a partial agreement.  You obviously didnt know what you were getting yourself into.  You thought you were doing a good deed.  If you are so burdened why cant the state help you?  Sounds like you took on too much of a responsibility as it is.  Anyway like I said before, at 14 were you the epitome of great children?  If this happened to you would you want someone to kick you out?  1, She doesnt need maternity clothes? 2. Ask family to help you buy things like baby clothes........go to children consignment shops and the salvation army.  3. Sign up for assistance from the state.  You would have 2 additional dependents and they have a slew of programs that would help you out.  But all in all I dont live with you, I dont know what your going through.  But to me the child is a product of bad parenting, her chances of "being a somebody" will be slim to none if you just drop this.  But that has to be on your concious.


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