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I had unprotected sex at 16...

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

With a 22 year old.

Stupid, yes. Was I talked into it? No. I made the choice on my own.

To this day, my parents don't know. They think my now husband was my first and only.

But anyway......

To this day, I freak out when I have any kind of blood testing done. Thinking that some uncurable STD is going to just appear because of my romp in the bedroom as a stupid teenager. I know, after all this time, I should be relaxed about it and that it's unlikely, but I've heard cases of HPV and herpes not showing up until years after exposure.

Believe me, I plan on being very open, honest, and stern when teaching my kids the impotance of safe sex.

Posted by Anonymous on May. 25, 2012 at 10:29 AM
Replies (31-40):
VLY
by on May. 25, 2012 at 3:38 PM

Gosh... I didn't know this...............My dh's EX cheated on him with men and women before their divorce. hubby has had no symptoms and I have been checked eveyr year since we got married (5 years ago next week). Gulp this is Horrifying to think about!

Quoting Anonymous:

 How old are you now? Some diseases (HIV, Hep C, herpes) can take 7 tears to show in your system. I am sure you are okay though. I feel that way sometimes too though. My dd father probably cheated on me. Who knows what he could've had. It's been almost 7 years since I have been with him, and i'm in the clear thus far.


lovemystinky
by on May. 25, 2012 at 3:39 PM
Oh, to only be worried about one other partner.

Nah, they've all been good.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
blondie805
by on May. 25, 2012 at 3:46 PM

Do yourself a favor and forgive yourself. Look, it's hard enough to face the things that we have done this morning, don't add to it by putting your past in the present. Be honest and love your kids. Make sure that they understand how precious of a gift their bodies are and that gift should not be given out like candy in a parade. lol. I wasn't much different from you. I grew up in the 70's and 80's. If it wasn't a dark disco, then, it was a party with Bon Jovi playing a love song and wine coolers. I had a lot of things to face and once I faced up to my own failures and weaknesses. I learned to forgive myself and learn the things that I wanted to teach my kids. Don't be so hard on yourself. Stay optimistic and believe that if it hasn't shown up now, then, it's not going to show up later. Cross the big bridges in your kids lives when you get there but, grow from your own experiences and life.

megangary
by on May. 25, 2012 at 4:01 PM

My mom didn't teach me safe sex either. She thought it was better to teach me not to do it... I'm glad the schools taught me something, because otherwise I wouldn't know what a condom was or STD's. I'm with you OP...safe sex should be discussed.

Quoting Anonymous:

Because my parents didn't bother to teach about sex, they trusted the school system to do it. They never cared if my brother and I were having sex or not. No, they weren't bad parents, they just didn't want to put the idea of sex in our heads.....I guess they thought the less we knew, the less likely we would be to try it out. 

Quoting Anonymous:

Because your children will listen better than you did? Welcome to reality where experience trumps all knowledge

 


jonellg
by on May. 25, 2012 at 4:13 PM

Yep, including AIDS.

Quoting Anonymous:

 How old are you now? Some diseases (HIV, Hep C, herpes) can take 7 tears to show in your system. I am sure you are okay though. I feel that way sometimes too though. My dd father probably cheated on me. Who knows what he could've had. It's been almost 7 years since I have been with him, and i'm in the clear thus far.


vinalex0581
by Gold Member on May. 25, 2012 at 5:07 PM

I lost my virginity when I was 17 and it was unprotected. He was 18 and lost his virginity to me.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 13 on May. 25, 2012 at 5:14 PM

I don't think I've ever had sex with a man wearing a condom. And I've had 10+ partners. Stupid? Yup.  :-(

Anonymous
by Anonymous 14 on May. 25, 2012 at 5:16 PM
I was the same way too. My parents never spoke with me about it. I had no damn idea what risk I was taking. I will tell my kids everything the need to know and make sure I'm the one that tells them.


Quoting Anonymous:

Because my parents didn't bother to teach about sex, they trusted the school system to do it. They never cared if my brother and I were having sex or not. No, they weren't bad parents, they just didn't want to put the idea of sex in our heads.....I guess they thought the less we knew, the less likely we would be to try it out. 


Quoting Anonymous:

Because your children will listen better than you did? Welcome to reality where experience trumps all knowledge

 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 14 on May. 25, 2012 at 5:21 PM
I agree completely. I have always been so hard on myself for the stupid choices I made when I was younger. I regretted a lot of things I did. It was absolutely horrible. I lived with such guilt for years. Now that I am older I have learned to forgive myself and move on. I've had paps before and during my pregnancies. I've been healthy. I learned from my experiences and I will tell my kids what is not ok. What can happen if they have sex etc.


Quoting blondie805:

Do yourself a favor and forgive yourself. Look, it's hard enough to face the things that we have done this morning, don't add to it by putting your past in the present. Be honest and love your kids. Make sure that they understand how precious of a gift their bodies are and that gift should not be given out like candy in a parade. lol. I wasn't much different from you. I grew up in the 70's and 80's. If it wasn't a dark disco, then, it was a party with Bon Jovi playing a love song and wine coolers. I had a lot of things to face and once I faced up to my own failures and weaknesses. I learned to forgive myself and learn the things that I wanted to teach my kids. Don't be so hard on yourself. Stay optimistic and believe that if it hasn't shown up now, then, it's not going to show up later. Cross the big bridges in your kids lives when you get there but, grow from your own experiences and life.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 15 on May. 25, 2012 at 5:40 PM

So we pound that into her head? She's stupid? You have never done anything that you regret? Trust me, it's hard enough to live with our own guilt. Others bashing our skulls because of our mistakes in the past don't make it any easier. Lighten up and lift her up!! Lose the hate and judgement.

Quoting Anonymous:

I don't think I've ever had sex with a man wearing a condom. And I've had 10+ partners. Stupid? Yup.  :-(


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