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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Since everyone else is doing it........

Posted by on May. 25, 2012 at 1:22 PM
  • 7 Replies
1 mom liked this

 You know you're from Texas when....

(I dont agree with all of these but they're pretty funny lol) 

  1. You see more Texan flags than American flags.
  2. You can tell a rock from an armadillo at 300 yards.
  3. You know what a 'Cowboy Cadillac' is.
  4. Your local grocery store sells cactus in the Fresh Produce department
  5. You choose a brand of Mexican salsa with the same care that another might use to select a bottle of fine wine
  6. Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
  7. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Texas.
  8. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Texas
  9. Raccoons will test your crop of melons and let you know when they are ripe.
  10. Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.
  11. It is not a shopping cart it is a buggy.
  12. Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic.
  13. Green grass DOES burn.
  14. When you live in the country, you dont have to buy a dog. City people drop them off at your gate in the middle of the night.
  15. When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, its time to go to the doctor.
  16. Fixinto is one word.  
  17. You work until youre done or its too dark to see.
  18. You measure distance in minutes.
  19. Youve had to switch from heat to A/C in the same day.  
  20. You know what cow tipping and snipe hunting is. 
  21. A carbonated soft drink isnt a soda, cola, or pop .. its a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor.
  22. You can say 110 degrees without fainting...  
  23. You can make instant sun tea...
  24. In July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car...
  25. You can get a sunburn through your car window...
  26. You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance...
  27. Hot water now comes out of both taps...
  28. You actually burn your hand opening the car door...
  29. You break a sweat the instant you step outside... at 7:30 a.m. before work...
  30. You realize that asphalt has a liquid state...
  31. Its illegal to have a tattoo until youre 18, but children of all ages can play with guns
  32. You can drive all day and not leave the state
  33. You shop at HEB
  34. The town you live in is bigger than Rhode island
  35. You know there are more longhorn, cattle and steer than there people in the state (this is ALOMST true...24 mil ppl to 16 mil cattle)
  36. You eat tacos for breakfast
  37. You can go anywhere with a gun on your truck and no one thinks twice about it
  38. You know someone with a gun related injury
  39. You've taken your kids trick-or-treating when it was 90 degrees outside
  40. When it rains, everyone is smiling.
  41. There is no such thing as a "secret" sin.
  42. High notes on the organ can set the dogs to howling.
  43. It's a common misconception that everything is twice as big in Texas, really, everything is 1.965 times bigger, but we round up.
  44. It's a common misconception that the women have big hair. In fact this was outlawed in July 1977. There is a task force and they are doing their best to reach every last woman. Bear with us.
  45. Sunscreen is sold year round, kept at the front of the checkout counter .
  46. A formula less than 30 SPF is a joke and you only wear that to go to the corner store . . .
  47. You can properly pronounce Corsicana, Ennis, Waxahachie, Palestine, Decatur, Wichita Falls, San Antonio, Mexia, Waco, and Amarillo.
  48. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel.
  49. You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.
  50. You have known someone who has had one belt buckle bigger than your fist.
  51. You arent surprised to find movie rental, ammunition, and bait all in the same store.
  52. You go to the river/lake because you think it is like going to the ocean.
  53. You go to the gas station and there is a sign in the window that reads, No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service!
  54. I drive a pickup truck because I want to.
  55. They are cattle & oil wells. That's what they smell like to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-20 and I-10 go east and west, I-35 goes north and south. Pick one.
  56. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.
  57. Yeah, we eat catfish & crawfish. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.
  58. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.
  59. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it spooks the fish.
  60. We have more folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines, than any other state
  61. Always remember what our great governor Sam Houston once said:"Texas can make it without the United States, but the United States can't make it without Texas!"


by on May. 25, 2012 at 1:22 PM
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Replies (1-7):
MOMMY2ACR
by Gold Member on May. 25, 2012 at 1:27 PM
I love Texas. Id move in a heartbeat but my fiancé doesn't enjoy it nearly as much as I do.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
dbush0584
by Platinum Member on May. 25, 2012 at 1:30 PM
1 mom liked this

 I tried to live in Missouri but couldnt do it.  I wont ever live anywhere but Texas.  I dont want to. lol

Quoting MOMMY2ACR:

I love Texas. Id move in a heartbeat but my fiancé doesn't enjoy it nearly as much as I do.

 


maryb311
by on May. 25, 2012 at 1:34 PM
1 mom liked this
I lived in Texas for a whole, I loved it!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
divinedimension
by Not Miss Cleo on May. 25, 2012 at 1:51 PM
In our defense, armadillos are easily distinguishable from anything, especially from rocks! Granted, anything is easily distinguishable from a rock. Flags are pride worthy. Cactus is sold in grocery stores but none of us know why, We MAKE our own salsa as opposed to buying it, armadillos eat, sleep and fuck everywhere..that's not our fault!
There are as many bullets in our arsenal as there are variety of snakes indigenous to TX, so why be afraid? The reason we measure distance in minutes is due to the fact that TX as a state is larger than 2-3 states and it takes two entire days to run one errand if you don't live in the city. There is no such thing as instant tea, that's an oxymoron here. It is ALWAYS 90 degrees outside, so of course we take our kids trick or treating in 90 degree weather. If we wait around on 85 degrees, we could be waiting until winter! Not only do we listen to the weather forecast but to the hair forecast (think humidity). Yes everyone waves at you, unless you live in Houston, then the standard greeting is the middle finger. If you saw how nasty the gulf is,you'd understand why we go to the lake instead.

Quoting dbush0584:

 You know you're from Texas when....


(I dont agree with all of these but they're pretty funny lol) 



  1. You see more Texan flags than American flags.

  2. You can tell a rock from an armadillo at 300 yards.

  3. You know what a 'Cowboy Cadillac' is.

  4. Your local grocery store sells cactus in the Fresh Produce department

  5. You choose a brand of Mexican salsa with the same care that another might use to select a bottle of fine wine

  6. Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.

  7. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Texas.

  8. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Texas

  9. Raccoons will test your crop of melons and let you know when they are ripe.

  10. Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.

  11. It is not a shopping cart it is a buggy.

  12. Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic.

  13. Green grass DOES burn.

  14. When you live in the country, you dont have to buy a dog. City people drop them off at your gate in the middle of the night.

  15. When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, its time to go to the doctor.

  16. Fixinto is one word.  

  17. You work until youre done or its too dark to see.

  18. You measure distance in minutes.

  19. Youve had to switch from heat to A/C in the same day.  

  20. You know what cow tipping and snipe hunting is. 

  21. A carbonated soft drink isnt a soda, cola, or pop .. its a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor.

  22. You can say 110 degrees without fainting...  

  23. You can make instant sun tea...

  24. In July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car...

  25. You can get a sunburn through your car window...

  26. You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance...

  27. Hot water now comes out of both taps...

  28. You actually burn your hand opening the car door...

  29. You break a sweat the instant you step outside... at 7:30 a.m. before work...

  30. You realize that asphalt has a liquid state...

  31. Its illegal to have a tattoo until youre 18, but children of all ages can play with guns

  32. You can drive all day and not leave the state

  33. You shop at HEB

  34. The town you live in is bigger than Rhode island

  35. You know there are more longhorn, cattle and steer than there people in the state (this is ALOMST true...24 mil ppl to 16 mil cattle)

  36. You eat tacos for breakfast

  37. You can go anywhere with a gun on your truck and no one thinks twice about it

  38. You know someone with a gun related injury

  39. You've taken your kids trick-or-treating when it was 90 degrees outside

  40. When it rains, everyone is smiling.

  41. There is no such thing as a "secret" sin.

  42. High notes on the organ can set the dogs to howling.

  43. It's a common misconception that everything is twice as big in Texas, really, everything is 1.965 times bigger, but we round up.

  44. It's a common misconception that the women have big hair. In fact this was outlawed in July 1977. There is a task force and they are doing their best to reach every last woman. Bear with us.

  45. Sunscreen is sold year round, kept at the front of the checkout counter .

  46. A formula less than 30 SPF is a joke and you only wear that to go to the corner store . . .

  47. You can properly pronounce Corsicana, Ennis, Waxahachie, Palestine, Decatur, Wichita Falls, San Antonio, Mexia, Waco, and Amarillo.

  48. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel.

  49. You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.

  50. You have known someone who has had one belt buckle bigger than your fist.

  51. You arent surprised to find movie rental, ammunition, and bait all in the same store.

  52. You go to the river/lake because you think it is like going to the ocean.

  53. You go to the gas station and there is a sign in the window that reads, No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service!

  54. I drive a pickup truck because I want to.

  55. They are cattle & oil wells. That's what they smell like to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-20 and I-10 go east and west, I-35 goes north and south. Pick one.

  56. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

  57. Yeah, we eat catfish & crawfish. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.

  58. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.

  59. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it spooks the fish.

  60. We have more folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines, than any other state

  61. Always remember what our great governor Sam Houston once said:"Texas can make it without the United States, but the United States can't make it without Texas!"

dbush0584
by Platinum Member on May. 25, 2012 at 2:22 PM
I live in arlington.......

Thats why I said I don't agree with all of these. I've lived in texas my whole life.


Quoting divinedimension:

In our defense, armadillos are easily distinguishable from anything, especially from rocks! Granted, anything is easily distinguishable from a rock. Flags are pride worthy. Cactus is sold in grocery stores but none of us know why, We MAKE our own salsa as opposed to buying it, armadillos eat, sleep and fuck everywhere..that's not our fault!

There are as many bullets in our arsenal as there are variety of snakes indigenous to TX, so why be afraid? The reason we measure distance in minutes is due to the fact that TX as a state is larger than 2-3 states and it takes two entire days to run one errand if you don't live in the city. There is no such thing as instant tea, that's an oxymoron here. It is ALWAYS 90 degrees outside, so of course we take our kids trick or treating in 90 degree weather. If we wait around on 85 degrees, we could be waiting until winter! Not only do we listen to the weather forecast but to the hair forecast (think humidity). Yes everyone waves at you, unless you live in Houston, then the standard greeting is the middle finger. If you saw how nasty the gulf is,you'd understand why we go to the lake instead.



Quoting dbush0584:

 You know you're from Texas when....



(I dont agree with all of these but they're pretty funny lol) 





  1. You see more Texan flags than American flags.


  2. You can tell a rock from an armadillo at 300 yards.


  3. You know what a 'Cowboy Cadillac' is.


  4. Your local grocery store sells cactus in the Fresh Produce department


  5. You choose a brand of Mexican salsa with the same care that another might use to select a bottle of fine wine


  6. Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.


  7. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Texas.


  8. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Texas


  9. Raccoons will test your crop of melons and let you know when they are ripe.


  10. Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.


  11. It is not a shopping cart it is a buggy.


  12. Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic.


  13. Green grass DOES burn.


  14. When you live in the country, you dont have to buy a dog. City people drop them off at your gate in the middle of the night.


  15. When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, its time to go to the doctor.


  16. Fixinto is one word.  


  17. You work until youre done or its too dark to see.


  18. You measure distance in minutes.


  19. Youve had to switch from heat to A/C in the same day.  


  20. You know what cow tipping and snipe hunting is. 


  21. A carbonated soft drink isnt a soda, cola, or pop .. its a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor.


  22. You can say 110 degrees without fainting...  


  23. You can make instant sun tea...


  24. In July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car...


  25. You can get a sunburn through your car window...


  26. You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance...


  27. Hot water now comes out of both taps...


  28. You actually burn your hand opening the car door...


  29. You break a sweat the instant you step outside... at 7:30 a.m. before work...


  30. You realize that asphalt has a liquid state...


  31. Its illegal to have a tattoo until youre 18, but children of all ages can play with guns


  32. You can drive all day and not leave the state


  33. You shop at HEB


  34. The town you live in is bigger than Rhode island


  35. You know there are more longhorn, cattle and steer than there people in the state (this is ALOMST true...24 mil ppl to 16 mil cattle)


  36. You eat tacos for breakfast


  37. You can go anywhere with a gun on your truck and no one thinks twice about it


  38. You know someone with a gun related injury


  39. You've taken your kids trick-or-treating when it was 90 degrees outside


  40. When it rains, everyone is smiling.


  41. There is no such thing as a "secret" sin.


  42. High notes on the organ can set the dogs to howling.


  43. It's a common misconception that everything is twice as big in Texas, really, everything is 1.965 times bigger, but we round up.


  44. It's a common misconception that the women have big hair. In fact this was outlawed in July 1977. There is a task force and they are doing their best to reach every last woman. Bear with us.


  45. Sunscreen is sold year round, kept at the front of the checkout counter .


  46. A formula less than 30 SPF is a joke and you only wear that to go to the corner store . . .


  47. You can properly pronounce Corsicana, Ennis, Waxahachie, Palestine, Decatur, Wichita Falls, San Antonio, Mexia, Waco, and Amarillo.


  48. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel.


  49. You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.


  50. You have known someone who has had one belt buckle bigger than your fist.


  51. You arent surprised to find movie rental, ammunition, and bait all in the same store.


  52. You go to the river/lake because you think it is like going to the ocean.


  53. You go to the gas station and there is a sign in the window that reads, No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service!


  54. I drive a pickup truck because I want to.


  55. They are cattle & oil wells. That's what they smell like to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-20 and I-10 go east and west, I-35 goes north and south. Pick one.


  56. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.


  57. Yeah, we eat catfish & crawfish. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.


  58. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.


  59. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it spooks the fish.


  60. We have more folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines, than any other state


  61. Always remember what our great governor Sam Houston once said:"Texas can make it without the United States, but the United States can't make it without Texas!"

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
.Diddles.
by Gold Member on May. 25, 2012 at 2:29 PM
I live in Missouri and want to live in Texas. I'm so tired of mo.

Quoting dbush0584:

 I tried to live in Missouri but couldnt do it.  I wont ever live anywhere but Texas.  I dont want to. lol


Quoting MOMMY2ACR:

I love Texas. Id move in a heartbeat but my fiancé doesn't enjoy it nearly as much as I do.

 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
dbush0584
by Platinum Member on May. 25, 2012 at 2:47 PM
I lived in branson

Quoting .Diddles.:

I live in Missouri and want to live in Texas. I'm so tired of mo.



Quoting dbush0584:

 I tried to live in Missouri but couldnt do it.  I wont ever live anywhere but Texas.  I dont want to. lol



Quoting MOMMY2ACR:

I love Texas. Id move in a heartbeat but my fiancé doesn't enjoy it nearly as much as I do.


 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
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