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Does anybody else hate the term "play house"? UPDATE!! Update 2

Posted by on May. 26, 2012 at 6:45 PM
  • 797 Replies
31 moms liked this

I hate that term. It makes it sound like just because you aren't married, you're just playing a game. SO and I aren't married and our life is anything but a game. He works full time, I go to school full time, we raise our daughter and are expecting twin boys in august. We do basically everything that a married couple does except we're not married. How does not being married equate to "playing house"? Nobody's playing here and it most certainly isn't a game. It just irritates me because it makes it sound like our life isn't as serious as somebody who's married when the only difference is a legal piece of paper. We are just as committed as anybody else and maybe someday we'll get married, but it doesn't mean we're just playing some game with our family.

Update: Woot! I made a featured post. I didn't think any post of mine would be that popular. I've read through all the replies and thought maybe I'd clarify a few things...much quicker than replying to everybody. I do want to be married and SO wants to marry me. We've talked about it, but right now it's not a good time. We're trying to prepare for our boys that are coming soon and make sure that we have everything that they will need. SO has been considering getting a vasectomy and I want for us to be married before he does that. I would feel horrible if he got it done and for some reason we didn't work out. We do not have a fear of the commitment of marriage....children happened and right now they are taking precedence over everything else.

Update #2 - I do want to get married. It's not the right time right now. We literally do not have $100 to go to the courthouse. SO is down at the pawnshop as we speak so we can have some money until payday. We ran short this month. He's looking for another job so that we can have extra money. The vasectomy isn't set in stone yet. My mom has been telling us that one of us needs to get fixed and she keeps saying that it should be him. Me and him were talking about it and he said he was thinking about it, but he doesn't want my mom to think that the only reason that he got it done was because she suggested it. If it comes down to it, if I end up needed a c-section, I might just have my OB tie, cut and burn my tubes while he's got me open anyway. I don't have an issue being engaged with 3 children if that's how it works out. I'm not taking the easy way out. I would probably get custody of the kids either way because I am their primary caregiver and with 2 newborns on the way, who else is going to take care of them. Once I graduate from school this summer, I will be more than able to support me and the children if something were to happen between me and SO. This whole argument is ridiculous. I simply posted about hating the term because it makes it seem like what I'm doing, that every other family does that has children is just a game when we do exactly the same thing as a married couple does. I don't see how raising my family becomes "real" instead of a "game" when I get married. I will be doing the same damn thing with the same damn people.

by on May. 26, 2012 at 6:45 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on May. 26, 2012 at 6:47 PM
24 moms liked this

LOL, at first I thought you meant playhouse, like a child's playhouse!  Just shows where my mind is today, too much "mommy" stuff on my mind!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 26, 2012 at 6:47 PM
87 moms liked this
Eh. I have more respect for myself than to be a forever girlfriend. You're good enough to date and knock up but not good enough to marry.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 26, 2012 at 6:51 PM
10 moms liked this

But you are.

You also probably say how you will walk when you want because you aren't married. 

Can I ask how you trust him enough to live together and claim to be committed enough so you are having more children but the legal commitment isn't worth your investing in a marriage?

IndigoOwl
by on May. 26, 2012 at 6:52 PM
52 moms liked this
Some people don't believe in marriage. It doesn't make their relationship any "less" than yours. In fact, sometimes those relationships are even stronger because there ISN'T that piece of paper there. Just because marriage holds value to you doesn't mean it has the same value to someone else.


Quoting Anonymous:

Eh. I have more respect for myself than to be a forever girlfriend. You're good enough to date and knock up but not good enough to marry.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on May. 26, 2012 at 6:53 PM
12 moms liked this

then stop playing house

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on May. 26, 2012 at 6:54 PM
16 moms liked this

and thats the problem. We can make baby after baby with a random or same man,but can't give that same man our hand in Marriage. Shameful.But baby daddies are perfectly ok but marriage, oh no, that's evil.

Quoting IndigoOwl:

Some people don't believe in marriage. It doesn't make their relationship any "less" than yours. In fact, sometimes those relationships are even stronger because there ISN'T that piece of paper there. Just because marriage holds value to you doesn't mean it has the same value to someone else.


Quoting Anonymous:

Eh. I have more respect for myself than to be a forever girlfriend. You're good enough to date and knock up but not good enough to marry.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on May. 26, 2012 at 6:54 PM
11 moms liked this
So a piece of paper gives a person more credit?


Quoting Anonymous:

Eh. I have more respect for myself than to be a forever girlfriend. You're good enough to date and knock up but not good enough to marry.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on May. 26, 2012 at 6:56 PM
20 moms liked this
A piece of paper isnt going to keep a person faithful


Quoting Anonymous:

But you are.

You also probably say how you will walk when you want because you aren't married. 

Can I ask how you trust him enough to live together and claim to be committed enough so you are having more children but the legal commitment isn't worth your investing in a marriage?


IndigoOwl
by on May. 26, 2012 at 6:56 PM
22 moms liked this
Considering over half of marriages end in divorce, your comment doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Apparently a marriage certificate doesn't prove much of a commitment either.


Quoting Anonymous:

But you are.

You also probably say how you will walk when you want because you aren't married. 

Can I ask how you trust him enough to live together and claim to be committed enough so you are having more children but the legal commitment isn't worth your investing in a marriage?


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Salsacookies
by Gold Member on May. 26, 2012 at 6:56 PM
8 moms liked this

No, I'm not playing anything. I hold our relationship to the same standards that I would a marriage. He would have to do something very serious for me to even consider walking away like cheating, abuse, something like that. I am not the kind of person to walk out of a relationship just because he watched football or something like that. I'm sure that we will eventually get married..we have talked about it, but right now we need to focus on our boys that are on their way in the very(VERY) near future. It doesn't mean that our relationship is a game compared to those who are married. I have friends that are miserable in their marriage...how is that so much better than what I have?

Quoting Anonymous:

But you are.

You also probably say how you will walk when you want because you aren't married. 

Can I ask how you trust him enough to live together and claim to be committed enough so you are having more children but the legal commitment isn't worth your investing in a marriage?


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