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HELP ME, What questions should I ask attorney

Posted by on May. 27, 2012 at 1:32 PM
  • 8 Replies

I posted last night that my husband took our 5 year old to his moms and said he filed for divorce last week.  He said his attorney told him not to leave her side (he has no job, i do) so he is taking her out of preschool and is at his moms. Side note : I am bi-polar and this is the main thing he will use against me. I am on meds, but have had "episodes" before.  I am obviously getting attorney on Tuesday. For those of you that have done this before. Please help me start thinking of what questions I need to ask attorney. So far i have

1) Living arrangements, He wants all three of us to stay together because his attorney said he cant leave or it would be abandonment, I cant emotionally handle that, its not best for daughter.

2) Can I file temporary custody

3) He has no job and has not since December...I asked him to take her out of preschool then so we could save money and he said no. (He usually never spends time with her) Now he said he is not taking her to school anymore and is not leaving her side per his attorneys advice. I want her to stay in school and keep her "normal" life

4)When we both worked for 5 years he told me not to put money in a 401k because we needed my money to pay bills. He put double money in his 401k. He used his 401k to pay for his divorce attorney. Can I make him pay for mine? Isn't half that money mine?

What other questions do i need to ask. I know you dont know a lot about my specific situation....but what do I need to take with me to attorney What am I not thinking of> Any help would be great.

by on May. 27, 2012 at 1:32 PM
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Replies (1-8):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on May. 27, 2012 at 1:34 PM

bump

StrongerAlone
by on May. 27, 2012 at 1:37 PM
The living arrangement is bs. It's not abandonment when couples divorce. It's abandonment only after a set amount of time with no contact.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 27, 2012 at 1:38 PM
I would ask the attorney if you can file for custody since he has no way to support her without help.

The 401k money is filed under his SS and although you maybe a beneficiary, it is not half yours.
Nursesummer
by Silver Member on May. 27, 2012 at 1:39 PM
I would ask about you possibly having to pay spousal support because he is unemployed.
I'd ask about temp custody
In your custody papers make sure you are very specific about drop offs and time allowances for being late. Holidays and first right of refusal.
Ask about who gets the house and the splitting of bills
If you want the no overnight guest clause in the custody order, then you need to be specific.
Ask for him to have to provide proof of income to you every 6 months and every time he would get a raise or bonus ( when he gets a job)
Ask medical/dental coverage on the baby
If you have a girl I'd ask for a clause that he is not allowed to alter her appearance without your consent
Ask about setting up a specific schedule, written in the papers, for him to call and speak to dd
Make sure you get legal custody!!! Not just physical.
Ask about splitting the cost of school supplies and ec activities.
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Nursesummer
by Silver Member on May. 27, 2012 at 1:40 PM
And ask to have it written in the co on who is allowed to pick up/drop off your dd.
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numonestunar
by Platinum Member on May. 27, 2012 at 1:44 PM
Bump. I have no idea. I hope you get your kid back!!
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Rubyred24
by on May. 27, 2012 at 1:45 PM


Quoting Anonymous:

I would ask the attorney if you can file for custody since he has no way to support her without help.

The 401k money is filed under his SS and although you maybe a beneficiary, it is not half yours.


May be I was dumb but i did not know this would happen and he told me not to put money in a 401k and he would put enough back for both of us. So now all my money has been paying our/his/my bills and he has attorney paid for with that money....how is that legal?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 27, 2012 at 1:56 PM
401k's are only specific to that person, and typically are paid through a job or through a direct deposit. A 401k cannot legally belong to more than one person. Unless it is a different type of retirement account, it is totally legal. Maybe he knew what he was doing all along.
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