I'm Starting to Scare Myself... long, sorry.

[scoleman828]

I'm seriously thinking up ways of killing someone and considering going through with it... :/ I've never even wished death upon a person, much less thought of causing it myself. But, when I even so much as look at my MIL, I see red. I'm
filled with so much hate it scares
me.

Back story: she lived with her son (now my fiancée) when we met 2
years ago. He paid all the bills, took care of everything. When we got engaged we moved in together. He gave her 3 months to find work and get on her feet. She did NOTHING. She moved in with us at the end of that time. We found her a place of her own a month later, paid her deposit and first month rent. At the end of that month, she got evicted because she couldn't pay. She has been living with us now since Nov.
She is the most miserable, lazy, entitled person I have ever met. We have 9 month old twins, and to get her to pitch in and help with them, cleaning, cooking, anything is the end of the world in her mind. I have an older DD from a previous relationship and she won't even speak to her. Even though she sleep in my Dd's bed when she's at her dad's and stores all of her stuff in Dd's room.
If you've lost count, there's six people. We live in a 2 bedroom singlewide mobile home. Makes for cramped quarters.
She is diabetic (along with a bunch of other things that could be maintained if she tried) yet she spends her $200 a month on sweets and soda which she keeps stashed in her truck. Meanwhile,
she doesn't hesitate to eat our food, which we buy (NOT on PA).
I'm at the end of my rope.

[tazdvl]

 Have you talked to your fiancee about this? How does he feel?

[kcangel63]

Tell her to shape up and get her own place, or she can chose between a nursing home or homeless shelter.

[..guesswho..]

I would never ever admit I was thinking of killing someone on a site like this.

On another note I am sorry you are having trouble with her.

[Irenesmommy]

she is a grown woman, tell her to get the hell out! if she won't work to pay her own way give the number to a couple of homeless shelters and temp agencies and bid her farewell

[scoleman828]

I have. He feels trapped. She is the queen of guilt trips and he HATES confrontation. He was in a n auto accident a few years ago ( before we met) and had some brain injury. It causes him to really struggle to communicate clearly and concisely. Not to mention, she took care of him during his recovery ( fractured neck, temporary paralysis, etc) and now makes him feel like he owes her. The way I see it, she did what a mother should for their kid. I understand his tough situation and that's why I vented here...

Quoting tazdvl:

 Have you talked to your fiancee about this? How does he feel?

[scoleman828]

It's called venting. I would and could never do anything like that. I was just making a point of how much I despise her.

Quoting ..guesswho..:

I would never ever admit I was thinking of killing someone on a site like this.



On another note I am sorry you are having trouble with her.

[scoleman828]

Unfortunately, that would cause a lot of problem for my fiancée with his family. They all think that since he has a steady income (retired army, not a lot of money) that he can take care of everything. He has a brother and a sister. Neither work and she can't stay with them because their respective SO's don't like her or vice versa. They have a screwed up family, they all thrive on drama. He's the exception and ends up on the receiving end...

Quoting kcangel63:

Tell her to shape up and get her own place, or she can chose between a nursing home or homeless shelter.

[DemeterMystic]

Give her a time limit and a list of chores to do. Require her to apply to at least one job a day or she has to go. If she can't be civil to your dd, then maybe she shouldn't be welcome in her room. I think you and your husband should agree on these things together and talk to her about them together. Stick to your guns no matter what guilt she tries to lay on you.

[scoleman828]

We've tried to set out a list, etc like you suggested. It will work for a while. And, unfortunately keeping her out of DD's room means her staring us down till we go to bed so she can sleep on the couch and
having her stuff all over our already cluttered living room. The other
problem is that DF can't stick to his
guns when it comes to her. He
doesn't want to be the "bad guy".

Quoting DemeterMystic:

Give her a time limit and a list of chores to do. Require her to apply to at least one job a day or she has to go. If she can't be civil to your dd, then maybe she shouldn't be welcome in her room. I think you and your husband should agree on these things together and talk to her about them together. Stick to your guns no matter what guilt she tries to lay on you.

[..guesswho..]

I'm aware of what venting is, I do it all the time. I would still never say anything like that. People are crazy, and I don't need anyone telling anything on me tht I said out of anger for it just to get thrown around and turned into something worse.

Quoting scoleman828:

It's called venting. I would and could never do anything like that. I was just making a point of how much I despise her.

Quoting ..guesswho..:

I would never ever admit I was thinking of killing someone on a site like this.





On another note I am sorry you are having trouble with her.