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Does anyone else see how Fu**#d up this is? ***EDIT***

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

When speaking of non custodial fathers, why is it that a "good" father pays his child support and sees his children every other weekend? A "great" father sees them most weekends? I mean, seems to me like this is bare minimum, yet when a dad does so little, he is a "stand up guy" It makes me sick!

EDIT-------------

Just to clarify, I am NOT saying these fathers are pieces of shit, just that they are NOT AT ALL worthy of being called "good Fathers'I am just pointing out how low the standard is to be considered a good father by society.

Posted by Anonymous on May. 28, 2012 at 1:35 PM
Replies (21-30):
xpectingmama10
by Silver Member on May. 28, 2012 at 1:52 PM
My DD's bio dad in my eyes is a great father because he left. I think thats his biggest accomplishment in life. Call me a selfish bitch for that but he tried so hard to make me misscarry and beat me repeatedly so fuck ya im happy hes never been in her life.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
JLS2388
by on May. 28, 2012 at 1:52 PM
1 mom liked this

Anyone who knows me from other groups will probably tell  you that I am VERY pro mom. My ex is a POS who pays about 1/2 the child support he should and sees DD once every few months (he came and saw her for 45 mins and then left on Friday, that was the first time he had seen her since February) BUT visitations are set up by the court. Most dads don't get every weekend, most get every other weekend and one day during the week (or every other week) at least in my county so to blame a dad for not seeing their child more isn't really fair UNLESS he is not making all of his visits (like my ex) or mom is offering additional time and he just doesn't want it.

savedbygrace316
by on May. 28, 2012 at 1:53 PM

My BFF's df is doing this now and its draining their account dry.  The ex is about to use financial situation against them when she is the one that has put them in this position.  He is a great father (has sole custody of his oldest son) and there is no reason for a change in their current agreement.

Quoting Anonymous:

I, personally, would never settle for a shitty court orders visitation schedule. I would continue to fight it in court until it was something acceptable.

Quoting Anonymous:

Some fathers dont have the oppertunity to see thier kids most weekends.. My ex had a son before we met each other and the "court" order visitation was everyother Wed. and every other weekend, as much as he wanted to see his son other times his ex wife wouldnt let him, he would try to call his son and his ex wouldnt put him on the phone. IMO I couldnt blame him for not being there for his son, because his ex kept him away.. Now when we split up we never went to court for visitation I left it open to him the only stipulation was when he wants to see Emily he has to let me know so we dont make plans (or if we do have plans I can tell him). For the past 7 years it works out perfect for us, most weekends she sleeps at his house and he comes over to visit and help with homework 1-3 times a week on the weekdays (depending on his work schedule, sometimes he works til 9 which is her bed time, but if he cant come over because of work he calls while he's on his dinner break to say hi to her)


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 28, 2012 at 1:54 PM
I get what your saying, but generally speaking. I just don't think (in most cases) you can have a great relationship with a child you only see everyother week. I am sure there are exceptions though.

Quoting TrouserMouse:

I don't think you can determine how great a dad is or is not by how often they see their children.
amanda_mom89
by on May. 28, 2012 at 1:58 PM
1 mom liked this
My DH is a non custodial parent. He gets his daughter every second his ex will let him have her.

He pays his child support, helps with clothes, splits medical and dental costs and he and his ex work very well together most of the time. She has helped us out and we have helped her out.

The sad fact is that someone has to be non custodial. I don't see how that makes them any less of a parent. DH didn't choose for a court to award his ex primary physical custody and it certainly wasnt easy for him to accept. He cried that day and I can count on one hand the number of times I've seen him cry.

There are real parents out there who have to deal with not seeing their children every day.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 28, 2012 at 2:00 PM
They can fight it in the courts. You don't even need a lawyer to do this. I think this is a shitty excuse.
I am sure there are *some men that are victims of a bad vistitatiom agreement, but be honest, this isn't most of them. Most of them are happy to not have to worry about having their children too often. It's sad.

Quoting Anonymous:

For many men its the courts decision and they can't be blamed for that.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 28, 2012 at 2:01 PM

 He didnt settle for it, he kept taking her back to court, but the judge kept the same schedule in tact everytime. However his ex wife remarried a few years ago when his son was 13, and his son did not like the new step father (they would get into screaming matches almost hitting each other) so he went to live with his grandparents (if he moved with his dad he would have to change schools), once he was living with his grand parents his dad was able to visit more often and they talk on the phone everyday.

Quoting Anonymous:

I, personally, would never settle for a shitty court orders visitation schedule. I would continue to fight it in court until it was something acceptable.

Quoting Anonymous:

Some fathers dont have the oppertunity to see thier kids most weekends.. My ex had a son before we met each other and the "court" order visitation was everyother Wed. and every other weekend, as much as he wanted to see his son other times his ex wife wouldnt let him, he would try to call his son and his ex wouldnt put him on the phone. IMO I couldnt blame him for not being there for his son, because his ex kept him away.. Now when we split up we never went to court for visitation I left it open to him the only stipulation was when he wants to see Emily he has to let me know so we dont make plans (or if we do have plans I can tell him). For the past 7 years it works out perfect for us, most weekends she sleeps at his house and he comes over to visit and help with homework 1-3 times a week on the weekdays (depending on his work schedule, sometimes he works til 9 which is her bed time, but if he cant come over because of work he calls while he's on his dinner break to say hi to her)

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 28, 2012 at 2:01 PM
Seems toe that your DH really IS a great dad. It is sad to me that fathers doing half what he does, get the same title. Kwim?

Quoting amanda_mom89:

My DH is a non custodial parent. He gets his daughter every second his ex will let him have her.



He pays his child support, helps with clothes, splits medical and dental costs and he and his ex work very well together most of the time. She has helped us out and we have helped her out.



The sad fact is that someone has to be non custodial. I don't see how that makes them any less of a parent. DH didn't choose for a court to award his ex primary physical custody and it certainly wasnt easy for him to accept. He cried that day and I can count on one hand the number of times I've seen him cry.



There are real parents out there who have to deal with not seeing their children every day.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on May. 28, 2012 at 2:02 PM
My husband signed over rights to his kids to their step dad o.0
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 28, 2012 at 2:05 PM
I'm not touching this!!!!

Quoting Anonymous:

My husband signed over rights to his kids to their step dad o.0
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