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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Why Suicide

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I'm only posting this because I've been thinking about my life.

This is the song I was listening to.

I'm not happy.  Not because I, myself, can't be happy.  But because other people can't be happy with me.

My mom seems to think I need to be like my brothers to be good enough- and I'll never grow a penis.

My dad pretty much writes me off as a mistake.  Although we get along, he has made it clear I am not a big part of his life anymore and he could care less how I'm succeeding/struggling.

My SO is only happy when I'm miserable.  Meaning, if I'm happy- he thinks I'm cheating or doing something behind his back.  If I'm miserable, I'm right where he is.

My family could care less what I'm doing with my life.  Neither could my friends.

I'm severely bipolar and I'm falling into a depressive state.  I am feeling how I did when I was 20 years old, manic/depressive and suicidal.

I don't like it.

Posted by Anonymous on May. 30, 2012 at 4:25 AM
Replies (11-17):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 30, 2012 at 7:13 AM
1 mom liked this
Blaine Larson- how do you get that lonely!

Amazing song!
Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 30, 2012 at 7:15 AM
I'm sorry that things are going so rough for you. I've been there, many many times. I wish I had the words to say.

"keep your head up. Things will get better. It may be stormy now, but it can't rain forever"
Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 30, 2012 at 7:17 AM

i surely can relate to you in pretty much every way!!  

Angelicembrace
by The Dorkfish on May. 30, 2012 at 7:18 AM

This, exactly. I'm alone too...it started off really rough..but now I just accept it. Otherwise, I'd drive myself into be more and more miserable.

If you do ever want to talk though, feel free to message me :).

Quoting epoh:

What I've learned in the last week is that no one will help you be happy. No one will be there for you in the end, except yourself.

You'll have people come and go and assist you at different points in your life, but mostly this is up to you. You've got to figure this out, and only because you love you.

Keep telling yourself that you can do it, and you will succeed. You will believe it soon enough.

I'm sorry life is rough right now. It's been hard for me too. The plus side to it all is I'm learning more than ever how to be entirely independent. The emotional support is nice but in the end, it doesn't matter. Everyone stops caring at some point and that's when you need to learn to do it for YOU.


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 31, 2012 at 1:44 AM

Whenever I finally get to the point that I AM happy, it seems like something else drags me down, or someone else finds a way to rain on my parade.  I recently got my act together, started losing weight, and paying off my debt.  I don't depend on people to make me happy, or even be happy for me- however it'd be nice for them to either leave me alone completely, or accept me for who I am and be proud.

Every time I start caring only about myself, I have people tellings me from all angles that I'm selfish for doing so.  

I hate that....But I guess I will figure it out.

Quoting epoh:

What I've learned in the last week is that no one will help you be happy. No one will be there for you in the end, except yourself.

You'll have people come and go and assist you at different points in your life, but mostly this is up to you. You've got to figure this out, and only because you love you.

Keep telling yourself that you can do it, and you will succeed. You will believe it soon enough.

I'm sorry life is rough right now. It's been hard for me too. The plus side to it all is I'm learning more than ever how to be entirely independent. The emotional support is nice but in the end, it doesn't matter. Everyone stops caring at some point and that's when you need to learn to do it for YOU.


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 31, 2012 at 1:45 AM

Thank you ladies...I really appreciate all the nice comments and replies, and good advice.  Sometimes I need to hear it from people that do not know me to fully appreciate the effect.

Thank you.

mommac10
by on May. 31, 2012 at 1:49 AM

 Oh honey I am so sorry you feel this way! Have you thought about getting some therapy? Please do not let this keep going. I have been in that black hole and it is the hardest place in the world to get out of. (((hugs)))

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