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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Why Suicide

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 17 Replies

I'm only posting this because I've been thinking about my life.

This is the song I was listening to.

I'm not happy.  Not because I, myself, can't be happy.  But because other people can't be happy with me.

My mom seems to think I need to be like my brothers to be good enough- and I'll never grow a penis.

My dad pretty much writes me off as a mistake.  Although we get along, he has made it clear I am not a big part of his life anymore and he could care less how I'm succeeding/struggling.

My SO is only happy when I'm miserable.  Meaning, if I'm happy- he thinks I'm cheating or doing something behind his back.  If I'm miserable, I'm right where he is.

My family could care less what I'm doing with my life.  Neither could my friends.

I'm severely bipolar and I'm falling into a depressive state.  I am feeling how I did when I was 20 years old, manic/depressive and suicidal.

I don't like it.

Posted by Anonymous on May. 30, 2012 at 4:25 AM
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Replies (1-10):
SJG1013
by SJG on May. 30, 2012 at 4:37 AM

I am sorry you feel this way.

Maybe you can take a mini vacation to just get away form it all.

If they don't seem to care for you , Then you don't need them in your life.

If you truly feel like your going to harm yourself please call 1-800-273-8255

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 30, 2012 at 4:57 AM

Thank you.

Quoting SJG1013:

I am sorry you feel this way.

Maybe you can take a mini vacation to just get away form it all.

If they don't seem to care for you , Then you don't need them in your life.

If you truly feel like your going to harm yourself please call 1-800-273-8255


MichelleJ1000
by Silver Member on May. 30, 2012 at 5:05 AM
I have always been a people pleaser and I am just learning how to stop doing that. I am living my life the way I want and if no one likes it too bad. I wasted a lot of years trying to make others happy at my expense just to get treated like I was nothing. Hope you feel better soon. You need to find the right support system.
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SeAnnasMom
by on May. 30, 2012 at 5:09 AM
Things will get better. I'm bipolar also. And extreme anxiety, I hardly ever like to leave the house. Keep your chin up and keep loving your babies and soon you will come out of it. You have to much to loose, and little ones who love and need you, forever. I know its hard sometimes. If it gets to hard go talk to your doctor. See if you can adjust or start meds to help with the emotional stuff. Try and get some rest if you can and drink a lot of water. BIG HUGS and hang in there. Don't give up.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 30, 2012 at 5:14 AM
Go ask for a hug. I have been where you are at right now. Your parents do love you and hopefully will help you through this dark time. You husband may be afraid for you the reason he says these things.

Remember you are important to all these people its just the dark times we go through that has you feeling this way. Hope the depression lifts soon so you feel better.

Hugs!!
Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 30, 2012 at 5:14 AM

Join bipolar mommies or bipolar diaries so you can get some support from people who understand.

Lindalou907
by Silver Member on May. 30, 2012 at 5:23 AM

I hope you feel better soon,and I hope you leave that dumbass you're with. I believe in suicide,but only for the terminally ill. I know children of a mom who suicided,they are still affected by it very much even 30 years later.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 30, 2012 at 6:45 AM
1 mom liked this

No, I wouldn't like that either.  Since you feel yourself backsliding, I'm curious as to what you're doing about it. Do you use meds for maintenance?  Have you recently had a med review?  You mention your family/friends, and that they don't care what you do with your life - do you?  What are your hopes for your life?  What would you like it to be?  Are you ready to design the life you want?  How can you build your resources to help you make that happen?  Suicide is what happens when one's problems outweigh one's coping mechanisms.  How can you strengthen your coping mechanisms?

LadyStork
by on May. 30, 2012 at 6:50 AM
You and I share the same kind of crap. I just cut my dad.off a few days ago and my sister tells me he has moved on with his life.like nothing happened. Everything I ever say to him is an excuse. My dh has a.piss cloud. He is miserable. I can't help him. I'm the.only one in a house of 6 that can work. It sucks. So I totally understand. Pm me if you want to talk.
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epoh
by Ruby Member on May. 30, 2012 at 6:55 AM
What I've learned in the last week is that no one will help you be happy. No one will be there for you in the end, except yourself.

You'll have people come and go and assist you at different points in your life, but mostly this is up to you. You've got to figure this out, and only because you love you.

Keep telling yourself that you can do it, and you will succeed. You will believe it soon enough.

I'm sorry life is rough right now. It's been hard for me too. The plus side to it all is I'm learning more than ever how to be entirely independent. The emotional support is nice but in the end, it doesn't matter. Everyone stops caring at some point and that's when you need to learn to do it for YOU.
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