I saw this on another forum.
A lot of lawyers try to get their (younger) clients off with the excuse "They had a rough childhood."
Which gets me thinking... what exactly is a "bad childhood?" Is one definitively worse than another? How would you go about judging if this person's childhood was crappy enough? Is living in the past okay enough to get someone's charges dropped? Or do we need to focus on what they did in the present?
And more importantly, as far as right and wrong, how much is nurture VS how much is nature?
Surely anyone who's gone to school knows that hitting or killing someone is wrong... but how many of these kids were introduced to consequences?
Personally, my childhood was pretty rough (parental drug abuse, domestic abuse, etc). But I still know right from wrong and I like to think I turned out pretty okay.
It's not an excuse for bad behavior, but it can certainly explain why someone might behave the way that they do. Childhood abuse can cause the brain to wire itself in such a way that a person can find it very hard to confrom to societal standards, or feel empathy or sympathy for others. This kind of brain damage can not only affect behavior, but it can damage the centers of the brain that are responsible for reasonable decision making. Yet another reason why parents should be educated in child development.
Dysfunctional people need an excuse. They're dysfunctional.
I tell my DH this all the time. Everything his DD, 12, does (we've had custody of his DD for over a year now) wrong, he blames on her mother and let's her walk. She steals, lies, hits, and is very very defiant. I had a bad childhood. Sexual abuse, domestic abuse, drugs, alcohol. I suffer from PTSD and GAD. I tell him, "I had a fucked up childhood and went through things your DD didn't suffer through, and you don't see me out there robbing a bank and using the excuse I was raped 4 times and my daddy doesn't love me" I believe that you choose to get past the things you went through and learn from them. Yes, I have PTSD but I don't harm people, I refuse to treat people the way I was treated. I wanna be better then that. I want his DD to be better then that. I was my step daughter to see that she isn't the only one who has suffered in life and that she can over come the things her mother put her through and help her be better then that. She's not gonna learn anything if she gets away with these things.
I think no matter what your background it is soley up to you to make you own choices. You are NOT your parents. You have your OWN mind & freedom of choice. I feel bad for no ones choices or reasons why they made those choices when they become adults. If you have common sense you know right and wrong. Period no matter if daddy wasnt around when you were little.
Quoting BethanyJ:It's not an excuse for bad behavior, but it can certainly explain why someone might behave the way that they do. Childhood abuse can cause the brain to wire itself in such a way that a person can find it very hard to confrom to societal standards, or feel empathy or sympathy for others. This kind of brain damage can not only affect behavior, but it can damage the centers of the brain that are responsible for reasonable decision making. Yet another reason why parents should be educated in child development.
Well said.
FUCK NO, It's not an excuse.
My asshole father used to use the excuse that his childhood was awful to make sure that our childhoods were awful.
You know what? My childhood stunk. I have since sucked it up and got on with life. While it certainly shaped me in many ways, I don't use it as an excuse to commit crimes or be a total ass hat.
No no no! My Dh had a horrific childhood and he knows what is right and wrong! Personally I hate when people blame their parents or childhood for stuff! Now come on you know what to do!
So, no. For the majority of the population, it isn't an excuse for shit.
They are trying to ban buying soda from FS
Do you REGRET having kids
- KristyCat
on May. 30, 2012 at 7:44 PM