My dh shoved me to the ground last night. He's never struck out at me before. He has scared me and threatened me but never actually done anything physical . My child was luckily at a sleep over . I don't have any family left and maybe this was just a one time thing. not sure what I should do. All this because I didn't know which jacket he wanted and he got really mad at me for being so slow to get the right one so he shoved me to the floor and a little more to get to the jackets himself . He said I was a stupid slow bitch and he left. He still isn't hme and I am scared a little. I have been cleaning all morning so there wont hopefully be anything wrong when he gets home. Why am I so damn stupid ! I don't know why I didnt see the jacket it was right in front of me ! I guess I am just venting.
edit - got to go he just called .I'll try and check back to let you know what happens in case anyone wants to know.
If you're going to find excuses for his behaviour, then perhaps you shouldn't ask us what to do.
I personally think that it's ridiculous he did that, and even more ridiculous for you to "clean the house so there's nothing wrong" when he gets home. Fuck him. If he can't love you and appreciate you and KEEP HIS HANDS OFF OF YOU (This is how it begins!)....then you maybe need to be ALONE.
Here's a bit of advice. No matter what good you do, he's not going to get better. Don't expect. You can only control you. Is this what you want you kid to think is normal behavior?
It was just this one time I can't see breaking up the home over just that It would make me selfish. Plus he and my child are my only family. He deserves a clean home he works and It is my responsibility .I know i made him sound kind of bad but he's also loving and kind. I just was being a dumb ass and he got annoyed who hasnt gotten annoyed. I should have known people would be mean. I get that I am stupid I really don't need more people ointing it out.
Sounds like he's going from threats to actions. You need to make an emergency escape plan. Maybe call some shelters to see where you could go. And stop blaming yourself , abuse isn't your fault and he is being abusive.
Quoting SDarvasi:
If you're going to find excuses for his behaviour, then perhaps you shouldn't ask us what to do.
I personally think that it's ridiculous he did that, and even more ridiculous for you to "clean the house so there's nothing wrong" when he gets home. Fuck him. If he can't love you and appreciate you and KEEP HIS HANDS OFF OF YOU (This is how it begins!)....then you maybe need to be ALONE.
RIGHT!!!!!
Quoting LyTe684:
Are you waiting for him to kill you?.Seems like he's getting progressively worse.
Here's a bit of advice. No matter what good you do, he's not going to get better. Don't expect. You can only control you. Is this what you want you kid to think is normal behavior?
That seems dramatic to say he would kill me for mostly just a shove. He's much calmer and loving when things are done and clean. I know he shouldn't have pushed me but it's also not all his fault. It's hard to explain but I can be kind of slow sometimes and it gets irritating to people he just lost his temper. I don't know.
It;s selfish of HIM to think he can push you around over a JACKET. What next? A black eye? Then you'll say "oh, It's because I didn't do this...and he's never hit me before. I can't be selfish and leave because he did it once."
YOU deserve to be loved, regardless of whether or not the home is "clean". No excuse. SURE he may be annoyed...but to push you? That's fucked up.
If you think we're being mean.......and defending the man who was ACTUALLY being MEAN to you...then maybe you need to close this thread and keep cleaning. Sorry...but when you call him out on his abuse and we're pissed that he's treating you like this, then you defend him and complain that we're being the way we are.....then I don't know what to tell you.
There's nothing else we can say then.
Quoting Anonymous:It was just this one time I can't see breaking up the home over just that It would make me selfish. Plus he and my child are my only family. He deserves a clean home he works and It is my responsibility .I know i made him sound kind of bad but he's also loving and kind. I just was being a dumb ass and he got annoyed who hasnt gotten annoyed. I should have known people would be mean. I get that I am stupid I really don't need more people ointing it out.
Maybe she doesn't see the excuses. But otherwise I agree.
OP- Do let us know how it goes when he comes home. And like a PP said GET AN ESCAPE PLAN!!
Quoting SDarvasi:If you're going to find excuses for his behaviour, then perhaps you shouldn't ask us what to do.
I personally think that it's ridiculous he did that, and even more ridiculous for you to "clean the house so there's nothing wrong" when he gets home. Fuck him. If he can't love you and appreciate you and KEEP HIS HANDS OFF OF YOU (This is how it begins!)....then you maybe need to be ALONE.
are you ok with another woman calling your husband "hun" or "babe"