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Posted by on Jun. 6, 2012 at 8:45 PM
  • 19 Replies

 

Poll

Question: What would you do in this situation (feel free to explain in detail)

Options:

Give him the money,

Not give him the money.

Other


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Total Votes: 26

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The Situation:  My long time bf and I are getting married this Saturday.  His brother lives in Tennesse.  We checked with him before setting a date and he was coming up this coming Monday for his daughters 21st birthday.  He and his wife both said that they would be able to come up 2 days early.  A few days ago I was checking to make sure that they would be here.  At that time bf's brother said they weren't sure b/c they were short on cash.  Today he called bf at work and told him he wouldn't be here because he has $40 and the credit card he intended to put it on has a $95 activation fee before they will even send it out.  He told bf that he needs $300.  Bf told him we don't have it and then called and told me it was my decision.  I know he would really like his brother to be there but thats a lot of money, and I know once he gets here he'll want/need money for food (at the very least).  This brother has made a habit of "borrowing" money for the last 4 years, to the tune of over $2000.  We've only seen $100 come back and that was last month. 

The question:  What would you do?

--Insanity is hereditary.  You get it from your children.family in the van


by on Jun. 6, 2012 at 8:45 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Hannahluvsdogs
by Ruby Member on Jun. 6, 2012 at 8:47 PM
1 mom liked this

I wouldn't give them the money. They knew about the wedding in advance and should have set aside money for it. And especially with him having borrowed a lot of money in the past and not repaying it, I wouldn't.

GingerNeeSmith
by on Jun. 6, 2012 at 8:47 PM

Send him pic of the wedding

.not.angel.
by on Jun. 6, 2012 at 8:47 PM

 I would let my bf decide that. If he really wanted his brother there, we would find a way.

ajohnson08099
by on Jun. 6, 2012 at 8:48 PM

 It sounds like once more he couldn't be responsible enough to not have to rely on your help

bustybee
by Buzz Lightyear on Jun. 6, 2012 at 8:50 PM

personally I wouldn't... but I can be mean like that. but it is your bfs brother so.... I would make sure it jives with him otherwise it could be a crappy start to a new marraige :)

PinkyPan
by Ruby Member on Jun. 6, 2012 at 8:51 PM

I would not give him the money. He is a mooch and will only continue until you put your foot down. If your wedding was important enough to him he would of saved the money. Perhaps this will persuade him not to ask for money in the future.

rvb146
by Gold Member on Jun. 6, 2012 at 8:53 PM
I wouldn't give him the money A: he knew there was going to be a wedding. B: there's probably other people he could borrow from. C: he has a history of not paying back borrowed money.
But... He is your husband's brother. Maybe other family members could help out instead.
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tnt1014
by Silver Member on Jun. 6, 2012 at 8:53 PM

 I wouldn't give him the money but I would let your fiance know that it is HIS decision to make, even though he says it's up to you he may be resentful later that his brother was unable to attend your wedding because YOU wouldn't loan him the money.

MommaLis5
by on Jun. 6, 2012 at 8:54 PM
1 mom liked this

This is my feeling exactly.  I actually think he had the money saved to come up for his daughters birthday, but knowing my bf would want him here for our wedding went and blew it.

Quoting PinkyPan:

I would not give him the money. He is a mooch and will only continue until you put your foot down. If your wedding was important enough to him he would of saved the money. Perhaps this will persuade him not to ask for money in the future.


--Insanity is hereditary.  You get it from your children.family in the van


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jun. 6, 2012 at 8:56 PM

You've loaned him money in the past.  He hasn't repaid it.  If you don't want to see your money, give it to him.  However, if you have other things you can use that money for, why would you even consider throwing it away? 

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