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Poll

Question: What would you do in this situation (feel free to explain in detail)

Options:

Give him the money,

Not give him the money.

Other


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 26

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The Situation:  My long time bf and I are getting married this Saturday.  His brother lives in Tennesse.  We checked with him before setting a date and he was coming up this coming Monday for his daughters 21st birthday.  He and his wife both said that they would be able to come up 2 days early.  A few days ago I was checking to make sure that they would be here.  At that time bf's brother said they weren't sure b/c they were short on cash.  Today he called bf at work and told him he wouldn't be here because he has $40 and the credit card he intended to put it on has a $95 activation fee before they will even send it out.  He told bf that he needs $300.  Bf told him we don't have it and then called and told me it was my decision.  I know he would really like his brother to be there but thats a lot of money, and I know once he gets here he'll want/need money for food (at the very least).  This brother has made a habit of "borrowing" money for the last 4 years, to the tune of over $2000.  We've only seen $100 come back and that was last month. 

The question:  What would you do?

--Insanity is hereditary.  You get it from your children.family in the van


by on Jun. 6, 2012 at 8:45 PM
Replies (11-19):
SDarvasi
by on Jun. 6, 2012 at 8:58 PM

i chose other.

As in: Give ME the money.

ha. then you can tell him that you're sorry, but you have none.

MommaLis5
by on Jun. 6, 2012 at 9:04 PM

Thats my problem with it.  There are a lot of things we could do with $300. 

Quoting Anonymous:

You've loaned him money in the past.  He hasn't repaid it.  If you don't want to see your money, give it to him.  However, if you have other things you can use that money for, why would you even consider throwing it away? 


--Insanity is hereditary.  You get it from your children.family in the van


MommaLis5
by on Jun. 6, 2012 at 9:04 PM

lmao, never hurts to try

Quoting SDarvasi:

i chose other.

As in: Give ME the money.

ha. then you can tell him that you're sorry, but you have none.


--Insanity is hereditary.  You get it from your children.family in the van


onethentwins
by Platinum Member on Jun. 6, 2012 at 9:13 PM

I chose not to give him the money, but I'm thinking of another angle. If it's really important for your fiance to have his brother here, then him pay for it knowing that he's doing for himself and not for his brother. KWIM. But, do not pay for his wife and kids.

I think it's totally lame of his brother to do this, but I also think it's a little lame of your fiance to put it on you.

MommaLis5
by on Jun. 6, 2012 at 9:23 PM

*unabashed bump*

kikibix
by Platinum Member on Jun. 6, 2012 at 9:32 PM


Quoting tnt1014:

 I wouldn't give him the money but I would let your fiance know that it is HIS decision to make, even though he says it's up to you he may be resentful later that his brother was unable to attend your wedding because YOU wouldn't loan him the money.

I agree, except I'd add in a puzzled voice something like I wonder why your brother did not save for this event, it's not like it's a surprise? Say you are really torn about it because you know chances are slim to none that you will ever see the money again, that there are so many things that your family could do with that money, but that of course if the memory of having his brother there would be important then it's up to fiance to decide.

alwayskk
by on Jun. 6, 2012 at 9:34 PM

He has already shown himself. Since it's a special occasion and his wedding, too, I would let your BF decide. After that, I would never loan him money again.

iluv2meow
by on Jun. 6, 2012 at 9:35 PM

Please apply this rule IMMEDIATELY!

Do not lend money to family or friends.

When giving money to family and friends do not expect it to be paid back.

Kindly say well here is a donation, but we would appreciate you returning the favor by paying back the donation if possible.

If you do not have funds to DONATE/GIVE IT AWAY, then dont give donations.

md3mom
by Bronze Member on Jun. 6, 2012 at 11:00 PM
I would lend him the money but only because its your wedding. Thats a once in a lifetime event. I know my dh would be really upset if his brother wasnt at his wedding. I would not loan him any more after that though.
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