Her therapist stopped seeing her a few years ago because sis was doing coke on a daily basis and her therapist told her that she couldn't help her if she continued to hurt herself like that. At one point she went to rehab and then lived in a sober house for over a year. Even after she over backup on her own, she stayed very involved in AA and did great. At some point though, she decided that she could now drink like a "normal" person. Really?
Sometimes, like Wednesday night when I desperately needed my sleep, I want to tell her, " we'll, then why don't you just go ahead and do it then." But I don't. At least I haven't yet. But really, enough is enough. Find another therapist, I am just not qualified to deal with your crap.
I live 3000 miles away from her. When we go home for Christams to my parents house, she will actually walk into a room where a CHILD is watching cartoons and change the channel to a reality show. How can anyone be that self centered? She will lay on the couch watching TV while my mom, step dad and myself are preparing Christmas dinner or whatever. And if asked to help, for example set the table, she refuses. Yeah, I am a terrible sister for not wanting to it up with another 25 years of this crap. Yeah I miscounted in my OP.
No I do not think that you are a terrible for feeling the way you do. It can become emotionally draining. It sucks when you want to help because you care but cant because they do not want to help themself. What I would do is tell her that you love her but if she dose not get help and stay clean then she can not be apart of your life. I have someone who I have to care about from a far because I have done all I can and if I let him close he will just hurt me and my family.
I don't think you are a horrible sister at all. I'm sure it gets tiring. She may just looking for attention. I hope things get better for you.
My brother was in a very toxic relationship at one point and I got the phone calls from him in the middle of the night hollering about killing himself and hearing them scream at each other. It takes it's toll on a person.
Hmmm this is tough. I'd just tell her that you can't do it anymore.... NOT When she calls in a time of crisis though. Its all fine and dandy to be there for family but at some point they have to be willing to help themselves... Or you could just do the kind of bitchy thing... And not answer... But hell if someone called me at 3AM and I was trying to sleep... They can fuck off no matter what the reason (I am lying about that... but you get the point)
You cant help someone that doesnt want to help themselves. You are there so she has someone to feel sorry for her when she wants a pitty party. I'd do what a PP suggested, just tell her you are not qualified to give her the help she really needs and give her the name of a new therapist or church or something. Enabling her behavior isnt helping her at all.
Quoting aimeerd:No I do not think that you are a terrible for feeling the way you do. It can become emotionally draining. It sucks when you want to help because you care but cant because they do not want to help themself. What I would do is tell her that you love her but if she dose not get help and stay clean then she can not be apart of your life. I have someone who I have to care about from a far because I have done all I can and if I let him close he will just hurt me and my family.
Thank you so much for understanding. It is such a horrible place to be.
Quoting MsMellyMc:I don't think you are a horrible sister at all. I'm sure it gets tiring. She may just looking for attention. I hope things get better for you.
My brother was in a very toxic relationship at one point and I got the phone calls from him in the middle of the night hollering about killing himself and hearing them scream at each other. It takes it's toll on a person.
But how do you say no to your sister? Really, serious question.
leaving baby alone while i do laundry?