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I'm getting 9 years of back child support and his wife is PISSED Added answers Now I have an update

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Ten years ago, I was in a steady relationship with a man for almost a year. I found out I was pregnant and that was the beginning of the end, he left before then end of my first trimester. He moved out of state, changed his cell phone number and left no way to get in contact with him. When I had my baby, I filed with child support enforcement but since I wasn't on PA (I get get grants for school but nothing like food stamps that requires you file for child support) it wasn't a priority to them to find him to be honest, I didn't have much to go on. I had his first, last and middle name, the state he was born in and the state his parents lived in and his car make and model (his work was no help since he quit the company when he moved. 2 years later, I finished my degree and we did fine financially so I really never thought of it again. I am now married to a wonderful man and we have 2  other children. 5 months ago I get a call from child support enforcement saying that not only had they found him, he has been order to pay back child support for the past 9 years, to the tune of over $80,000 and if he doesn't pay within the next 6 months, he will have to pay interest on it too. We also had to go to court and deal with custody, the judge ordered me to have full custody with visitation at my discretion.

Well his wife called me in a fit, she was so mad. She said how dare I ask for back child support and it's going to financially ruin them and they have 2 children of their own and blah blah blah blah blah. As it turns out, he will have to empty his 401k, take out a second mortgage on their home, plus so that he can afford to keep up with the child support payments and now the second mortgage payments, his wife is going to have to start working. Honestly I can not feel sorry for them, I had to do it all by myself for 4 years and the past 5 my DH has helped but my ex has gotten a free pass for the past 9 years, time to pay up. Really it was all I could do not to laugh at her little pity party. If your ex did this to you, would you care what paying this money would do to his family (I mean providing no one when without their basic needs)?


WOW, there are a lot of responses. I have read through some and I seem to be getting a lot of the same responses so I will answer them here so as to not have to go back and do them individually:

Yes, he knew I was pregnant when he left

I do not know if his wife knew when they got together about my DD

The judge ordered me to have full custody with him getting visitation at my discretion

His family is not going to go without their needs, no one is going hungry. Yes, he has to drain his 401 k but he is in his mid 30s, he has time to save more before retirement.

For those who said I shouldn't get anything because I could have had an abortion, I would never do that, an abortion was no more an option for me then killing someone who was walking around. But he knew well before I got pregnant that I would never had an abortion so it's not fair to say that he could have expected me to have an abortion if I didn't want to do everything on my own.

The argument that women can have abortions in the first place is because the baby is in her body so saying that a man should have say over her having one (or get to walk off scott free if she chooses not to) undermines the whole argument that got abortion legalized in the first place.

So, as you know, I posted this 5 months after child support enforcement contacted me and told me that they found him and that he will have 6  months to pay. So guess what!!!!!! I got the money!!!! It came through about a week ago and I am also getting the monthly child support payments. His wife has contacted me several times saying that a I a greedy whore because now they won't have as much (again, no one is going without their basic needs), well for 9 years, my DD didn't have as much. But yeah, his wife had to start working in order to keep up with the child support payments and now their second mortgage payments.

Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 8, 2012 at 9:41 PM
Replies (41-50):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 8, 2012 at 9:57 PM


Quoting Anonymous:

He got what he deserves he's the true defininition of a dead beat. Your child deserves that money, 80k could completely cover your childs tuition

We are going to put some of the money away for all of our kids ($10,000 each) then we are going to buy a new car for the family (well not new, used but new to us) and then take a nice vacation as a family then finish paying off our home. I don't see this as money owed to my DD, this was money that I should have gotten every month to help take care of her, I didn't get it so I had to go without things or work more hours to make up for not getting it.

MrsJHoward
by Gold Member on Jun. 8, 2012 at 9:58 PM
Nope! Wouldn't feel bad at all, sorry about his bad luck!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Jun. 8, 2012 at 9:58 PM
Did he know you were pregnant?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 8, 2012 at 9:58 PM


Quoting CoolRelax:

 I wouldn't feel sorry about it.  I can understand why the wife is mad, but she needs to cuss her husband out, not the mother of his neglected child.  Did she even know that he had a child when they got together.

TBH, I have no idea if she knew

mommaboudreaux
by Bronze Member on Jun. 8, 2012 at 9:59 PM
1 mom liked this
It is his own damn fault.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
heathermichelle
by Heather on Jun. 8, 2012 at 9:59 PM
1 mom liked this
It's his fault.
My son's father just now got served with child support papers. I hope they make him go back and pay for the past 9 years.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
ittybit2012
by on Jun. 8, 2012 at 9:59 PM
1 mom liked this

Honestly, probably not.  He had the opportunity to stick around and do the right thing and chose to be a pussy.  It's not anyone's fault but his.  And I'd have told that bitch to shut the fuck up.  

cherib82
by Post Killer on Jun. 8, 2012 at 10:00 PM

 Did the wife even know about you and the kid? She is mad at the wrong person

catrig
by Platinum Member on Jun. 8, 2012 at 10:00 PM

I would feel bad for his family, but not for him.  I definitely wouldn't be inclined to be helpful if some chick I didn't know called me bitching about shit that was her husband's fault.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 8, 2012 at 10:01 PM


Quoting Anonymous:

So, he knew you were pregnant, when he left?

Yes, he knew and went to the first doctor's appointment with me. Then he realized that this was going to be a lifelong commitment (not necessary to me but to the baby) and took off

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