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I'm getting 9 years of back child support and his wife is PISSED Added answers Now I have an update

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Ten years ago, I was in a steady relationship with a man for almost a year. I found out I was pregnant and that was the beginning of the end, he left before then end of my first trimester. He moved out of state, changed his cell phone number and left no way to get in contact with him. When I had my baby, I filed with child support enforcement but since I wasn't on PA (I get get grants for school but nothing like food stamps that requires you file for child support) it wasn't a priority to them to find him to be honest, I didn't have much to go on. I had his first, last and middle name, the state he was born in and the state his parents lived in and his car make and model (his work was no help since he quit the company when he moved. 2 years later, I finished my degree and we did fine financially so I really never thought of it again. I am now married to a wonderful man and we have 2  other children. 5 months ago I get a call from child support enforcement saying that not only had they found him, he has been order to pay back child support for the past 9 years, to the tune of over $80,000 and if he doesn't pay within the next 6 months, he will have to pay interest on it too. We also had to go to court and deal with custody, the judge ordered me to have full custody with visitation at my discretion.

Well his wife called me in a fit, she was so mad. She said how dare I ask for back child support and it's going to financially ruin them and they have 2 children of their own and blah blah blah blah blah. As it turns out, he will have to empty his 401k, take out a second mortgage on their home, plus so that he can afford to keep up with the child support payments and now the second mortgage payments, his wife is going to have to start working. Honestly I can not feel sorry for them, I had to do it all by myself for 4 years and the past 5 my DH has helped but my ex has gotten a free pass for the past 9 years, time to pay up. Really it was all I could do not to laugh at her little pity party. If your ex did this to you, would you care what paying this money would do to his family (I mean providing no one when without their basic needs)?


WOW, there are a lot of responses. I have read through some and I seem to be getting a lot of the same responses so I will answer them here so as to not have to go back and do them individually:

Yes, he knew I was pregnant when he left

I do not know if his wife knew when they got together about my DD

The judge ordered me to have full custody with him getting visitation at my discretion

His family is not going to go without their needs, no one is going hungry. Yes, he has to drain his 401 k but he is in his mid 30s, he has time to save more before retirement.

For those who said I shouldn't get anything because I could have had an abortion, I would never do that, an abortion was no more an option for me then killing someone who was walking around. But he knew well before I got pregnant that I would never had an abortion so it's not fair to say that he could have expected me to have an abortion if I didn't want to do everything on my own.

The argument that women can have abortions in the first place is because the baby is in her body so saying that a man should have say over her having one (or get to walk off scott free if she chooses not to) undermines the whole argument that got abortion legalized in the first place.

So, as you know, I posted this 5 months after child support enforcement contacted me and told me that they found him and that he will have 6  months to pay. So guess what!!!!!! I got the money!!!! It came through about a week ago and I am also getting the monthly child support payments. His wife has contacted me several times saying that a I a greedy whore because now they won't have as much (again, no one is going without their basic needs), well for 9 years, my DD didn't have as much. But yeah, his wife had to start working in order to keep up with the child support payments and now their second mortgage payments.

Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 8, 2012 at 9:41 PM
Replies (901-910):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 106 on Jun. 10, 2012 at 2:22 PM
1 mom liked this
this is still going on?! honestly. ..who gives a shit? it's the law. he owes it. he pays it. fuck him. he abandonded you and his child. i wouldn't give it a second thought or try to justify myself to the biggest bunch of judgemental bitches i could find!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 25 on Jun. 10, 2012 at 2:35 PM
I like the OPS edit. Shes trying really hard to get approval.

Quoting Anonymous:

this is still going on?! honestly. ..who gives a shit? it's the law. he owes it. he pays it. fuck him. he abandonded you and his child. i wouldn't give it a second thought or try to justify myself to the biggest bunch of judgemental bitches i could find!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 98 on Jun. 10, 2012 at 2:44 PM
No actually I'm a Mom who got married, then had 3 kids with my husband. Still married - almost 20 years. So...your assumption is wrong.


Quoting renijazzysmom:

Quoting Anonymous:










Yes I have a step kid, my husband has always paid child support since the kid was born and it's not court ordered. So your assumption that I feel that way cause of child support is wrong. I think if a man wants a child and leaves that child he should pay, but if a man doesn't want a child from the time he find out about the kid he shouldn't have to pay.



I bet your one of those moms that have kid(s) with a man that never wanted the kid.

cheri68520
by on Jun. 10, 2012 at 2:58 PM
1 mom liked this
Good for you.....glad your getting you back support...your DD deserves it...and as for him...I wouldn't give him the pleasure of meeting her...Isn't funny how some men can just walk away and forget all about a responsibility ( like a child) and move on, to later start a family w/ someone else ... He should have used a condom, or kept his pecker in his pants....what a loser he is...I don't feel bad for him at all...and as for his wife....if she was any kind of a person she would have saved the phone call to you..and beat his sorry ass for doing what he did...she's a big a loser as he is.
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livyla
by Silver Member on Jun. 10, 2012 at 3:02 PM

 yay~  good news...  :)

karla85
by Platinum Member on Jun. 10, 2012 at 3:06 PM

 I don't know

Quoting Anonymous:

Quoting karla85:





What's title of spin off post!?

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 107 on Jun. 10, 2012 at 3:23 PM
1 mom liked this

This seems very punitive and it's actually more punitive towards the wife and kids (who you admit might not have even known about the situation).  They will probably end up divorced due to this sudden stress.  So those kids won't have a father and this woman will be scrambling financially.  I could understand them making monthy payments but to suddenly cough up this huge chunk of money?? Taking out a 2nd mortgage? They will lose everything, no doubt about it.  All the while you have been living well and now have this bonus money you don't even really need.  I don't think he should be off the hook but there has to be a reasonable compromise that doesn't hurt the innocent parties in this.  If he were a single guy I would not care.

Angeleyes_6
by on Jun. 10, 2012 at 3:54 PM
1 mom liked this
My ex-husband owes me over 155,000$ in child support and if they found him I would feel no pity for him paying up. I have been raising our 2 kids alone for 13 years so I don't care how many kids he got I would want my $$$$$
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 103 on Jun. 10, 2012 at 4:07 PM
He still has a responsibility though. He didn't donate his sperm to a sperm bank. HE chose to leave while she was pregnant which doesn't FREE him from his obligation like men like him seem to think it does. She definately would have been better off going to a sperm bank!

Quoting Anonymous:

No shes not. He didn't play any part in raising her. Shes as much a daughter to him as a man who donated to a sperm to a sperm bank is a father.

Quoting Anonymous:

Her DD is just as much HIS family as his wife and their children are. What makes her DD with him less important than his children with his current wife?





Quoting Anonymous:

I would actually care. Yes, he did wrong. Yes he owes YOUR child.



But I bet there is an alternative that would not devistate his family.




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Anonymous
by Anonymous 108 on Jun. 10, 2012 at 4:12 PM
So, he found out you were prgnant and bolted? What a catch. I think he should have to pay something but 80000 is a lot.
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