Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

How could i allow this to happen?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 88 Replies
My 12 year old dd is pregnant she just told me this afternoon, im a good mother i work 45 hour a week then i come home cook and clean and take care of my other 3 kids the youngest just turned 2, i had this talk with her three years ago about the birds amd the bees what im i gonna do. She wants to keep the baby but i really dont think its a good idea the girl still cant wipe her own butt rite,im dont belive in abortion so the baby will be put up for adoption,im i wrong for doing this?
Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 9, 2012 at 3:33 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
catrig
by Platinum Member on Jun. 9, 2012 at 3:34 PM

I don't think you can prevent her from having an abortion, or make her give the baby up for adoption.  Who got her pregnant anyways?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 9, 2012 at 3:37 PM
At 12 if she can have that baby make her deal with it. She wants it you don't she'll resent you forever just go with it that's your grandbaby. Your going to pry her baby from her hands? Things happen this is a big thing but as an adult do you want her in therapy because you got rid of her baby. Where were you when she had sex?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jun. 9, 2012 at 3:38 PM
I gotta slip in here before u get the shit bashed out of u. If u were Trying ur best, ur a good mom. Kids just make mistakes and ur kid made a big one. I would talk to her and ask her what her plan for raising the baby would be if she kept it. Maybe just seeing that keeping a baby around takes more planning than sayin "i wanna keep it" will encourage her to look into adoption. U r obviously a busy lady so she needs to know that raising the baby should not be ur job.

What is the deal w the father? I would never allow her to date until she was 18. Probably not the right thing to do, but I would freak if my 12yr old got pregnant.
ClassyMom619
by Silver Member on Jun. 9, 2012 at 3:38 PM

Oh wow is all I can say. I have a 12 year old daughter and I think I'd die if she came home telling me this :(

Bravo to you for not believing in abortion, but there is so much to consider in this situation. Adoption is a wonderful option, but putting myself in your daughter's shoes I don't know if I could ever forgive you for giving my flesh & blood away, KWIM? It's so hard all around. This is something you're going to have to give time and thought to and possibly discuss it with your daughter and family. I'm so sorry you've been put in this position. 

Do you know who the father is? Maybe talk to his family and give them the opportunity to take custody of the baby?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jun. 9, 2012 at 3:41 PM
1 mom liked this

its her body, her baby, her choice. I know its hard with her being so young. but this is her choice to make. just be there for her and support her in whatever decision she makes. good luck.

kmjmlj
by Silver Member on Jun. 9, 2012 at 3:41 PM
1 mom liked this
OMG can you deal with the thought you made her give her baby up when she gets older.? What about resentment towards you? I would be devastated but would not force my child to give up her baby. I would raise my grandchild as my child. I hope that never happens though.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jun. 9, 2012 at 3:41 PM
I know 12 is insanely young but you should strongly reconsider forcing adoption. It will affect her for the rest of her life if you force her into that.
I would be there and be supportive. I'd get her into counseling as there is no good outcome immediately to this. I hope everything works out.
lovemystinky
by on Jun. 9, 2012 at 3:42 PM
8 moms liked this

Your 12 year old still can't wipe her ass properly?

tifbrown
by on Jun. 9, 2012 at 3:42 PM
2 moms liked this

I think adoption is definitely the right path given the situation. She says she wants to keep the baby, but the reality of it is the burden will fall on you. Who is going to support it, raise it, take care of it when she wants to go out and still be a KID. I think it is unrealistic to assume that she will step up to the plate and sacrifice herself for the baby. It happens, but it is rare. Let her watch Teen Mom or 16 and Pregnant. Lots of people give those shows a bad wrap, but if you actually watch them, there is not glamorizing teen pregnancy at all. Those girls have hard, hard lives, as all teen moms do. Have her do some research about the facts of both sides. How hard it is to be a teen mom vs. all the joy and blessing that can come from adoption. Get her to look into the different types. It's natural that she wants to see the baby, look into open adoption. I have seen adoption work and the amazing benefits for both sides. My cousins were adopted, one from an open adoption. To this day the mother says it was the best thing she ever did. My cousin has an amazing life with my aunt and uncle, and the birth mother was able to get her life on track and now has a family and kids of her own. She has a lot of growing up to do, whatever you guys decide. Listen to her concerns and voice yours. I am sorry that you are dealing with this. Just know that it does not mean that you failed. You can only do so much for your kids, but at the end of the day when they are out in the real world it is up to them to make decisions. Also, find out if it was consensual. I know it happens, but it's hard for me to fathom a 12 year old, who should be playing with dolls, consenting to having sex. Look into the dad of this child and contact his parents as well. Maybe they have some insight to offer. Get on the same page now and tackle this as a team. My prayers and positive energy are with you :)

Tiffany

jonellg
by on Jun. 9, 2012 at 3:43 PM
2 moms liked this

this is a great example of why abortion needs to be legal

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN