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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

My husband is an a**

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

and I am about to tell him he can get the hell out of the house.

We have a little girl.  He has been ignoring us.  It has been a really shitty year...but I stood by him when most women would have left.  I get absolutely no respect anymore.  He just makes demands and expects me to toe the line.  He very nearly destroyed our family.  He only stayed out of jail because of me.  Otherwise that is where he would be right now.  I busted my ass and gave up a promotion for him.

Instead of being grateful and acting like a family man he is out at the bars partying all the time.  Last night when I told him he needed to come home, he told me it didn't matter...because as soon as he is out of the military he is moving back home to his Mama.  I am going to tell him today that he is NOT going to stay here until then and make our lives miserable.  He can get out now and find his own damn place.

Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 10, 2012 at 10:31 AM
Replies (11-20):
WrapNLoseInches
by Silver Member on Jun. 10, 2012 at 10:41 AM
hmmm how did he get into the military being bipolar? was it diagnosed before or after entry?

i would say if your responsibile for him to make the calls and get him some help. he obviously has the capacity to be a greatperson, but a child being molested can seriously mess up a parent as well as the kid, especially if the person was close to hi. he could also be hiding secrets about his own past, and it hit too cls fr comfort.

he need therapy and meds.
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tifbrown
by on Jun. 10, 2012 at 10:41 AM
I am so sorry to hear that. My heart goes out to you guys. That is enough to make anyone start drinking. But what your daughter needs is a strong supportive father figure. Seeing him like this is only going to torment her and deepen her issues. He needs to be strong to make her strong. Have you tried explaining it like that? Contacting his doctor may be the best thing you can do. You yourself can only do so much. Professional help is needed. Dealing with him is a burden you shouldn't be left with alone.

Quoting Anonymous:



Quoting tifbrown:

Good for you. Sounds like you are going through a rough time. I hope things get better once you lose the dead weight.

The thing is he used to be such a great dad.  My dd adores him.  He was a great husband too.  But ever since we found out our DD was molested by someone we trusted...he has started drinking and worse.  After rehab and almost going to jail...he was fantastic.  Then all of the sudden...boom.

He is BiPolar and not being med compliant.  I just don't know what to do.  As far as the military goes...I am responsible for him.  I really feel like calling his doctor and telling him that he is drinking again and being non compliant on meds.

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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jun. 10, 2012 at 10:44 AM

He is in therapy.  He has meds.  He only takes them when he feels like it.  He totally quit on his morning meds.  

He was just diagnosed BiPolar recently.  After reading up on it and realizing that it all fit him to a T...I told him he needed to ask about it.  When he was med compliant it made a world of difference.

I understand the effect of a child molestation on the parent.  Trust me..it tore me up and almost destroyed me.  This is my little girl.  He refused to talk about it for the longest time.  Just really started.  But I can't go on being miserable.

Quoting WrapNLoseInches:

hmmm how did he get into the military being bipolar? was it diagnosed before or after entry?

i would say if your responsibile for him to make the calls and get him some help. he obviously has the capacity to be a greatperson, but a child being molested can seriously mess up a parent as well as the kid, especially if the person was close to hi. he could also be hiding secrets about his own past, and it hit too cls fr comfort.

he need therapy and meds.


sparklebug86
by on Jun. 10, 2012 at 10:46 AM

yes! that wouldnt stand here either. He is being incredibly selfish and he already told you his plans so why not get them started early!

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jun. 10, 2012 at 10:47 AM


Quoting jcm28:

Maybe he should have stay in jail.

Maybe he should have....but he had a recent BiPolar diagnosis.  He was doing so much better.  He was med compliant and all.  Going to jail wouldn't have helped at the time.

It isn't like I throw everything I have done for him in his face.  But I deserve better no matter what I have done for him.  Given the fact that I almost had my career destroyed by his actions I feel like he should be a bit more grateful.  Otherwise I did everything for nothing.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 10, 2012 at 10:49 AM
Is he going to any kind of therapy? It must be an emotional rollercoaster to find out your DD was molested especially by a person you trusted. Him being the "man" and supposed protector may be sending him over the edge and his bipolar isn't helping. I am not in any means siding with him but he may need more counseling to handle the situation. It may be the best thing you can do for him is to call his doctor and turn him in. May be his only hope of returning to his old self.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 10, 2012 at 10:57 AM
My ex husband is bipolar and when is was on meds he was amazing the best man I have ever met the love of my life my soul mate. He then joined the military and wouldn't take meds anymore he became a violent abusive man. He had affirs with anyone he could he treated me as a slave. I wasn't aloud to breath without permission couldn't touch money even I earned it I was told my purpose was to serve him sex him and shut the f up. He became an alcoholic and moved on to other drugs. We split after I was aware of the affairs and eight years later I'm still dealing with his abuse and craziness. He will one moment be sweet caring ect the next he wants me to die and has domestic violence charges on him from many women myself included. I now have an order of protection against him and the divorce that he has been fighting against for seven years atleast will be final this month! It doesn't get better. And it broke my heart to way h this amazing man disappear before my eyes because of just not wanting to take meds. The good thing is....it will get better for you when he i gone. It may take a while and it may be hard at first but its worth it. You can't make him take meds or want help. No matter how hard u try u can't fix someone who doesn't want the help. Stay strong and stick to your guns. You know what's best for u and ur dd


Quoting Anonymous:



Quoting tifbrown:

Good for you. Sounds like you are going through a rough time. I hope things get better once you lose the dead weight.

The thing is he used to be such a great dad.  My dd adores him.  He was a great husband too.  But ever since we found out our DD was molested by someone we trusted...he has started drinking and worse.  After rehab and almost going to jail...he was fantastic.  Then all of the sudden...boom.

He is BiPolar and not being med compliant.  I just don't know what to do.  As far as the military goes...I am responsible for him.  I really feel like calling his doctor and telling him that he is drinking again and being non compliant on meds.


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 10, 2012 at 11:00 AM
He's an ass but how are you going to be able to tell him not to come home then?


Quoting Anonymous:



Quoting Anonymous:

Is his name on the house where you live now? Or do you live on base?

We live off base.  His name is on the lease.


WrapNLoseInches
by Silver Member on Jun. 10, 2012 at 11:13 AM
im not saying dont leave, only you know if thats needed!
but as his wife, you are supposed to look out for him thru thick and thin sickness and health....
he's sick. even if you leave, you should still try to get him his help for your childs sake if nothing else!


Quoting Anonymous:

He is in therapy.  He has meds.  He only takes them when he feels like it.  He totally quit on his morning meds.  

He was just diagnosed BiPolar recently.  After reading up on it and realizing that it all fit him to a T...I told him he needed to ask about it.  When he was med compliant it made a world of difference.

I understand the effect of a child molestation on the parent.  Trust me..it tore me up and almost destroyed me.  This is my little girl.  He refused to talk about it for the longest time.  Just really started.  But I can't go on being miserable.


Quoting WrapNLoseInches:

hmmm how did he get into the military being bipolar? was it diagnosed before or after entry?



i would say if your responsibile for him to make the calls and get him some help. he obviously has the capacity to be a greatperson, but a child being molested can seriously mess up a parent as well as the kid, especially if the person was close to hi. he could also be hiding secrets about his own past, and it hit too cls fr comfort.



he need therapy and meds.


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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jun. 10, 2012 at 11:52 AM
I have tried and tried. He doesn't want help. He thinks all is good.


Quoting WrapNLoseInches:

im not saying dont leave, only you know if thats needed!

but as his wife, you are supposed to look out for him thru thick and thin sickness and health....

he's sick. even if you leave, you should still try to get him his help for your childs sake if nothing else!




Quoting Anonymous:

He is in therapy.  He has meds.  He only takes them when he feels like it.  He totally quit on his morning meds.  

He was just diagnosed BiPolar recently.  After reading up on it and realizing that it all fit him to a T...I told him he needed to ask about it.  When he was med compliant it made a world of difference.

I understand the effect of a child molestation on the parent.  Trust me..it tore me up and almost destroyed me.  This is my little girl.  He refused to talk about it for the longest time.  Just really started.  But I can't go on being miserable.



Quoting WrapNLoseInches:

hmmm how did he get into the military being bipolar? was it diagnosed before or after entry?





i would say if your responsibile for him to make the calls and get him some help. he obviously has the capacity to be a greatperson, but a child being molested can seriously mess up a parent as well as the kid, especially if the person was close to hi. he could also be hiding secrets about his own past, and it hit too cls fr comfort.





he need therapy and meds.



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