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Stop Inviting Your Kids Over My House, Cause I Am A SAHM

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I really don't get why people assume cause I am a sahm it is OK for their little darlings to come over after school to play with my poor un-socialized homeschool kids and why my family thinks it is OK to send their kids to my house for the summer. I live on a very tight income and do not have the money to feed other people's kids and I have my children all day long with no breaks why would I want more kids to deal with?
I am trying not to be bitchy but sometimes around 4 o'clock I like being able to do other tasks instead of entertainment other people's kids. My children are self sufficient. They don't need me to entertain them. I play with them a lot but for the most part they are content just playing with each other or by themselves. Instead I have kids asking me to help them with their homework or telling they are bored. I have became somewhat snarky and have told kids if they are bored than they should go home. I would just not let these kids in but I did that once and found out a mom left to the store locking her kid out the house. It hurt my heart cause I couldn't figure out why this kid was sitting on his front porch for ten minutes and when I realized what happen I felt terrible. It is a good thing I saw him on his porch, cause I do watch to make sure kids get home safely cause his mother was gone for two hours! I could never in my heart deny a kid a safe place to stay, but I think some parents don't give a fuck where their kids are as long as they aren't under their ass.
Now I am being told my niece will be down for the week to spend time with grandma. OK cool whatever, but when my mom told me that she will be spending time with her little cousins (my kids) while she is working I am furious. No one asked me if this was OK and I know I will not be getting paid for this. I keep hearing from my mom. Won't it be great to finally spend time with your niece... No mom it won't be great because I am neck high in debt, can't find a job and am pregnant. I am reading on FB how other family members are coming into town and can't wait for their LOs be able to play with my LOs. That sounds more like "I can't wait to be able to catch up with old friends and family while I leave my kids off on YOU for free to entertain and feed."

Maybe I am just being a hormonal psycho bitch, but I would like it if I wasn't herding a lot of children to the park, library and community center this summer.

Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 11, 2012 at 5:13 PM
Replies (151-158):
Tigress22304
by on Jun. 12, 2012 at 9:43 AM
1 mom liked this


Kmary
by Silver Member on Jun. 12, 2012 at 9:47 AM

Ugh my mom had this same complaint while I was growing up.  I have 4 siblings and the neighbors all seemed to think that since we had a big family and my mom was a SAHM that it wouldn't matter...as in what's one more kid?  Oh she was walked all over.  Obviously she should have said something or put a stop to it, but she just doesn't/didn't have it in her. 

I have learned from her experience.  My boys play with the two boys next door all the time.  We take turns at each other's houses, but I'm overly careful (paranoid?) about not letting them just play over there for hours on end.  I check on them a lot and make them come home and make sure we reciprocate a ton.    I don't want to be the "that mom"  --either the moocher or moochee :-)

Good luck.  That sounds super annoying!

sunshinebebe26
by on Jun. 12, 2012 at 10:03 AM
1 mom liked this


Quoting Lynette:

As a fellow homeschooling SAHM I agree w/ you completely!!!  Can't tell you how many times people have tried to get me to do daycare for them(free & paid).  Last summer my neighbor thought I would take care of her DD for free 5hrs a day Mon-Fri.  She thought I would do this for free and she didn't send food(I did it one day).  Listen, I don't have any interest in doing daycare.  I love my freedom to come and go as I please.  I love that if I feel like taking the kids to the library, park, zoo, etc that I can.  I love being available for playdates at the drop of a hat.  And then we have homeschool group on Thursdays.  I have NO PROBLEM w/ kids coming over to play but then the parents should be home and keeping an eye out for them.  I don't feed snacks to the neighbor kids either. 


yep the dreaded neighborhood kids, they are like strays you feed them once they NEVER go away !!! LOL

MrsWhite101610
by Gold Member on Jun. 12, 2012 at 10:09 AM
I'd peek through the curtains and not open the door. Tell mom if she really wants to spend time with her grandchild then she needs to take off work.


Quoting Anonymous:

I told my mother no I could not take care of my niece for the week and she guilt tripped me. "Oh Ne I can't believe you would deny me the chance to spend time with D. You know how much I love my grandchildren and how I never get to see her." But I know even if I say no my niece will be knocking on my door at 7:30 in the morning and as soon as I open the door my mom is going to drive off. She has done this to me every year. 
My cousins will come, say hi and talk to me. Let their kids mingle with mine and then do a vanishing act. I will go to the bathroom or the kitchen and come back to no parents. I don't know any other family that does this.

Quoting Anonymous:

My kid always goes and sees her friends and her friends come down to see if she can hang out. When it is time to eat I send the kids home if I don't want to deal with neighbor kids I tell them to go home (nicely of course) As for you becoming a family sitter that is what would piss me off. Tell them no. You don't have to say yes to anyone EVER even if it is family.



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
starbuckmom03
by on Jun. 12, 2012 at 10:12 AM

I guess I have no room to complain when I have 2 neighbor girls here almost daily for hours on end.  At least one of the girls is 16 (she babysits for us and my boys love her) so their time here is great for me as my kids are entertained!

Last summer tho, I did complain about them being over everyday and my oldest ds never went to their house even tho we asked.  Their mom always said no. Come to find out 2 of their girls (they have 4), have ADD and need quiet while doing their homework.  I quit being upset when I learned this.  This past Spring, my oldest has been spending more time there which is nice.  I make sure he is on his best behavior and doesn't ask for a ton of food while there.

If I really need a day or two w/o the girls here, I just let the girls know we need a family day and they understand and don't come back. 

I am sorry, OP, that you are going through this.  You really need to talk with the parents.  Maybe have 2-3 days a week where the kids are allowed to come over but let the parents know that at lunch time their kids will be sent home.  If the parents complain about any of this, then let them know their kids ARE NOT allowed over at all.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 29 on Jun. 12, 2012 at 10:22 AM

This is how I am currently feeling with my neighbor. My son developed a friendship with her son while on the school bus this year. (my son is older so they don't see each other during the day) The day after the last day of school they come to my house asking if my son can come play. I said ok, but then she proceeded to tell me how great it would be for her son to have someone to play with all summer because she is gone most of the time. And she is, they live with the grandmother for this reason. They stay gone for 6 weeks at a time, leaving the son with the older grandmother. I feel bad for him, but I am not their babysitter and I was looking forward to spending the summer with my kids! I think they have finally gotten the hint since I have said no a few times, but I can't really help it. We have our own plans too! 

Oh and I am about to get my nephews this afternoon for a few days. lol I don't mind it though. 

Lynette
by on Jun. 12, 2012 at 11:43 AM

I think this niece thing is something that you'll probably have to suck up and do because it's family.  I would be hitting up grandma for a bit of cash to pay for the added food expense as well as insisting on advance notice.  If grandma doesn't do this you need to talk to the girl's mother and tell her what you expect.  Keep this situation to just that one week a year.  Do not allow it for the other crap from family though.  IF you really can't stand to take care of that niece that one wk than stop talking to grandma, tell her mother you will not watch her child.  Make sure the mom considers the fact that grandma doesn't have a sitter for when grandma works. Stand up to those relitives that ditch their kids w/out asking!!!  And just to be funny put up a sign when family comes to visit that says "unattended children will be sold to the circus".    Have a talk w/ the neighbors, tell them you are not always home after school that somedays you will be gone at the library, playdates etc.  Make sure they know you are not a sure thing. Plan some trips to the library at drop off time

glynch
by Silver Member on Jun. 12, 2012 at 12:05 PM

this and keep your front door locked and do not answer the door.

Quoting areyouatroll:

If they want to see you, then say "ok, we can meet at this park, or this mall..." That way they just can't ditch the kids, you leave first :)

And tell your mom no way in hell, if she drops her off you will call cps for an abandoned child.


Quoting Anonymous:

I told my mother no I could not take care of my niece for the week and she guilt tripped me. "Oh Ne I can't believe you would deny me the chance to spend time with D. You know how much I love my grandchildren and how I never get to see her." But I know even if I say no my niece will be knocking on my door at 7:30 in the morning and as soon as I open the door my mom is going to drive off. She has done this to me every year. 
My cousins will come, say hi and talk to me. Let their kids mingle with mine and then do a vanishing act. I will go to the bathroom or the kitchen and come back to no parents. I don't know any other family that does this.

Quoting Anonymous:

My kid always goes and sees her friends and her friends come down to see if she can hang out. When it is time to eat I send the kids home if I don't want to deal with neighbor kids I tell them to go home (nicely of course) As for you becoming a family sitter that is what would piss me off. Tell them no. You don't have to say yes to anyone EVER even if it is family.




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