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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Needing advice.

Posted by on Jun. 12, 2012 at 1:49 AM
  • 24 Replies

So , I got pregnant not purposely. ( I don't like to say as an accident or mistake.. ) I'm 16 , And I bawled my eyes out at first. I was so upset , and just disapointed I guess in myself , feeling that I let everyone down , and just all the emotions that go with it!
Now I'm excited to become a mother , and I'm ready for it. My fiance has a job , I'm geting my GED and going into nursing school etc..

But now , randomly. I get a phone call from my niece ( who is the same age as me. Six months older )
She calls me excitedly telling me shes Pregnant. But she planned it. Purposely. With someone shes not even stable with. Shes not sure whos the dad. And shes excited?! Because she wants us to " go through this together.. " I feel like this is all my fault. What do I do?
She acts as though its a good thing , a thing to be proud of. She doesnt even understand though what shes going to have to go through. She doesn't even take any precautions.. No prenatals either. I'm stressing ( Which I really shouldnt be ) Over this situation. Should I blame Myself for this? Its not like I asked her to do this. Shes so immature , I just dont know how shes going to take care of this baby.

To get to the point I dont know what to do, or say to her. If I could get ANY pov's on this, advice. Anything It'd be so so helpful!!

pregnancy

by on Jun. 12, 2012 at 1:49 AM
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Replies (1-10):
childsplay80
by on Jun. 12, 2012 at 2:00 AM

first, this is sooo not your fault. her actions are her own. you have your own life and baby to be responsable for, dont over load your self with her choices as well. next. you can be there for her but i feel its possible that she is bousting her intent to cover her fear. weather it be fear of rejection by others or her own emotions catching up to her... all you can ever do for any one even if you dont support their actions is to  love them threw it. she is going to need your strength when it settles in that she is about to have a baby all by herself. believe me, i personally know how if feels to have a baby allone. its so much harder not to have a loved one to share that with. best of luck dear. to both of you.

snapple_180
by on Jun. 12, 2012 at 2:07 AM
1 mom liked this

I'm sorry but just a couple weeks ago your bawling your eyes out because you "unexpectedly" get pregnant and now all of a sudden you and your fiance are prepared for it?! What she did wasn't the smartest thing in the world by any means but you really have no room to call anybody immature. I also find it kind of funny that you say she has no idea what shes in for when you yourself still dont know what its like!

JLS2388
by on Jun. 12, 2012 at 2:10 AM

It is NOT your fault, you are not her keeper. I would encourage her to get prenatal care ASAP and as least start taking prenatal vitamins (which you can get over the counter). I would not snub your nose at her for doing this on purpose, was it stupid HELL YEAH but you got pregnant and either didn't use BC or didn't use it probably so not much better. Don't stress over it, you can't do anything about it.

Januarybaby2013
by on Jun. 12, 2012 at 2:17 AM

When I say shes immature , I mean she acts like shes five. LITERALLY. Shes never changed a diaper a day in her life , and shes extremely impaitent. I'm ten weeks pregnant , and of course its going to be a surprise to anyone? But I've become accustomed to the situation. I ACTUALLY have a way to support the baby , have a place to stay and Am finishing school. She moves everywhere , sleeps with everyone , has no way to raise this baby. She drinks and does drugs. My fiance was my first , and I have never done any drugs or drank. I'm not judging her , or even comparing myself to her. What I'm saying is , she isn't ready. Nor am I . But at least I am doing everything I can to become prepared. I was on birth control , also he was using protection. She planned hers. There is a difference between not trying and purposely doing something that you know is wrong just because.

Quoting snapple_180:,

I'm sorry but just a couple weeks ago your bawling your eyes out because you "unexpectedly" get pregnant and now all of a sudden you and your fiance are prepared for it?! What she did wasn't the smartest thing in the world by any means but you really have no room to call anybody immature. I also find it kind of funny that you say she has no idea what shes in for when you yourself still dont know what its like!


pregnancy

snapple_180
by on Jun. 12, 2012 at 2:23 AM
1 mom liked this


Quoting Januarybaby2013:

When I say shes immature , I mean she acts like shes five. LITERALLY. Shes never changed a diaper a day in her life , and shes extremely impaitent. I'm ten weeks pregnant , and of course its going to be a surprise to anyone? But I've become accustomed to the situation. I ACTUALLY have a way to support the baby , have a place to stay and Am finishing school. She moves everywhere , sleeps with everyone , has no way to raise this baby. She drinks and does drugs. My fiance was my first , and I have never done any drugs or drank. I'm not judging her , or even comparing myself to her. What I'm saying is , she isn't ready. Nor am I . But at least I am doing everything I can to become prepared. I was on birth control , also he was using protection. She planned hers. There is a difference between not trying and purposely doing something that you know is wrong just because.

Quoting snapple_180:,

I'm sorry but just a couple weeks ago your bawling your eyes out because you "unexpectedly" get pregnant and now all of a sudden you and your fiance are prepared for it?! What she did wasn't the smartest thing in the world by any means but you really have no room to call anybody immature. I also find it kind of funny that you say she has no idea what shes in for when you yourself still dont know what its like!


Yes, yes thats exactly what your doing! Until that baby comes you cannot judge on what kind of mother she or even YOU will be!

JLS2388
by on Jun. 12, 2012 at 2:24 AM
2 moms liked this


Quoting Januarybaby2013:

When I say shes immature , I mean she acts like shes five. LITERALLY. Shes never changed a diaper a day in her life , and shes extremely impaitent. I'm ten weeks pregnant , and of course its going to be a surprise to anyone? But I've become accustomed to the situation. I ACTUALLY have a way to support the baby , have a place to stay and Am finishing school. She moves everywhere , sleeps with everyone , has no way to raise this baby. She drinks and does drugs. My fiance was my first , and I have never done any drugs or drank. I'm not judging her , or even comparing myself to her. What I'm saying is , she isn't ready. Nor am I . But at least I am doing everything I can to become prepared. I was on birth control , also he was using protection. She planned hers. There is a difference between not trying and purposely doing something that you know is wrong just because.

Quoting snapple_180:,

I'm sorry but just a couple weeks ago your bawling your eyes out because you "unexpectedly" get pregnant and now all of a sudden you and your fiance are prepared for it?! What she did wasn't the smartest thing in the world by any means but you really have no room to call anybody immature. I also find it kind of funny that you say she has no idea what shes in for when you yourself still dont know what its like!


Yeah, she was being irresponsible for getting pregnant on purpose but you weren't even responsible enough to take your birth control correctly (there is NO WAY you can get me to believe that you were taking the BC perfectly, no time, every day and you still got pregnant while your boyfriend was using a condom). Many girls who get pregnant on accident act like they are so much better then those who did it on purpose because they are "so much more responsible" your not. No bashing here but you are 16, unmarried and pregnant, you really don't have much room for throwing stones. Encourage her where you can, don't put her down and don't act like you are better then her.

Januarybaby2013
by on Jun. 12, 2012 at 2:33 AM

My point in all of this is. I dont want her to have to go through this. Even though shes older , she looks to me as a big sister . or role model, She comes to me. For everything , for answers expecting me to know the answers. And I truthfully don't. I understand you think I am judging her, or comparing herself to me. but I honestly am Not trying to. Her mother isnt there for her , she has no support. Only me, and who she thinks is the babys father. She is mentally delayed. Because of all the things shes been through in the past. I've always been the one she asks how to get out of a situation or fix it. But now I myself am in the same position she is. I stress it so much though because I already explained to her I'm scared, and clueless. But yet she does it anyways.. I try to protect her and she doesnt listen. I just did not want her to follow into my footsteps. 

Mrs_Incredible
by on Jun. 12, 2012 at 2:34 AM

I'm sorry, but I fully agree with this. 

Quoting snapple_180:

I'm sorry but just a couple weeks ago your bawling your eyes out because you "unexpectedly" get pregnant and now all of a sudden you and your fiance are prepared for it?! What she did wasn't the smartest thing in the world by any means but you really have no room to call anybody immature. I also find it kind of funny that you say she has no idea what shes in for when you yourself still dont know what its like!


JLS2388
by on Jun. 12, 2012 at 2:36 AM


Quoting Januarybaby2013:

My point in all of this is. I dont want her to have to go through this. Even though shes older , she looks to me as a big sister . or role model, She comes to me. For everything , for answers expecting me to know the answers. And I truthfully don't. I understand you think I am judging her, or comparing herself to me. but I honestly am Not trying to. Her mother isnt there for her , she has no support. Only me, and who she thinks is the babys father. She is mentally delayed. Because of all the things shes been through in the past. I've always been the one she asks how to get out of a situation or fix it. But now I myself am in the same position she is. I stress it so much though because I already explained to her I'm scared, and clueless. But yet she does it anyways.. I try to protect her and she doesnt listen. I just did not want her to follow into my footsteps. 

Well she did, I am sure your mother didn't want you pregnant at 16 but that is the situation. You don't have all the answers but you know some things, you know she needs prenatal care, you know she should be taking her vitamins, you know she should be finding a way to either support this baby or find a couple to adopt this baby RIGHT, so start there.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 12, 2012 at 2:37 AM

Idk but Im mainly reading "me" and "I" in what your saying, shit happens dont take it personally :)

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