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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I need advice...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 24 Replies
At 12 I was raped. He was sentenced to 5 years in prison, and I'm usually okay but sometimes I have triggers.. Not often, but sometimes.

One trigger is any show/move that has rape, assualt etc in it.

Like even in that Spartacus show... It was showing a man forcing a woman to have sex with another man for his viewing pleasure.

My DF knows about the rape, so it shouldn't be a shock to him when I get upset. I went to say "this is disgusting and I don't know how anyone could sit through this" so he turns it off and goes to pop in a movie, but didn't sit down next to me and didn't say a word to me. Acting as if he was angrg he didn't get to watch his show.


It made me extremely upset to the point I came into the bedroom and just bawled my eyes out, I don't know how to function and can't really think straight right now. Anyone have any advice how to cool down? Please..
Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 12, 2012 at 2:55 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 12, 2012 at 3:01 AM
...
ridiculousgab
by on Jun. 12, 2012 at 3:03 AM
Maybe lay down andlisten to some music and try to think about other things. That what I do when I get mad or upset. I'm sorry about what happened to you :(
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 12, 2012 at 3:05 AM
I'm trying to lay down now, just wish he would get it you know.
JLS2388
by on Jun. 12, 2012 at 3:06 AM

I have watched part of that show, it makes me uncomfortable too, it really is almost soft core porn, I don't know if you have watched the whole series but it gets nasty. I don't think you should have to explain yourselves, I don't think many women would want to sit through that, it really is very degrading.

mommac10
by on Jun. 12, 2012 at 3:08 AM

 I am so sorry honey. I was molested and raped as a child and I know how you feel. Only I have certain areas of my body I don't like anyone to touch a certain way. Thank goodness my dh is very understanding and most of the time he will not touch those spots at all.

I think it is hard for someone who has never been through what we have to understand the affect and power it has over you even after many years. You need to sit him down and explain to him how those things make you feel and he needs to understand that he needs to support you and comfort you instead of making you feel bad because you cannot watch it. If he doesn't want to or can't understand it then maybe some therapy together would help. Maybe hearing it from a professional will give him a clearer view on how things work in your mind. Just because he doesn't think its real on tv doesn't mean that it isn't real to those of us that have been through it. (((hugs))) Good luck momma. I hope you find peace.

stephy87
by Ruby Member on Jun. 12, 2012 at 3:09 AM
Sit him down and talk to him. Maybe he just doesn't understand. Help him understand. I also have PTSD from abuse and rape. It's so hard for anyone to understand. I have panic attacks all the time. I have to explain to people and then they get it. Or try to. So talk to him. What you're going through is normal for a victim. Have you tried counseling and or medicine? It does help. It doesn't solve everything and make life perfect, but it makes a difference.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 12, 2012 at 3:09 AM

I was raped when I was 8. By my cousin.
So I most definitely understand.
What I do , is breathing excercises. Count to ten slowly and take deep breaths. Focus your mind on something else. And just try to relax.
I'm sorry you had to go through that. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jun. 12, 2012 at 3:10 AM
1 mom liked this
Therapy, PTSD
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 12, 2012 at 3:11 AM
It's just so disgusting. I don't understand how people can sit and watch women being forced to do things like that, and no. I haven't watched it before, and I won't ever watch it again


Quoting JLS2388:

I have watched part of that show, it makes me uncomfortable too, it really is almost soft core porn, I don't know if you have watched the whole series but it gets nasty. I don't think you should have to explain yourselves, I don't think many women would want to sit through that, it really is very degrading.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 12, 2012 at 3:14 AM
Thank-you for the kind words. I feel like no one gets me when it comes to this. It just upsets me to see that kind of thing on television like its nothing. It's just a very sensitive spot for me. An I couldn't go through with therapy, so maybe that's why I feel extremely messed up. I tried they just made me feel so stupid, they made it seem like at 12 I didn't know what rape was.


Quoting mommac10:

 I am so sorry honey. I was molested and raped as a child and I know how you feel. Only I have certain areas of my body I don't like anyone to touch a certain way. Thank goodness my dh is very understanding and most of the time he will not touch those spots at all.


I think it is hard for someone who has never been through what we have to understand the affect and power it has over you even after many years. You need to sit him down and explain to him how those things make you feel and he needs to understand that he needs to support you and comfort you instead of making you feel bad because you cannot watch it. If he doesn't want to or can't understand it then maybe some therapy together would help. Maybe hearing it from a professional will give him a clearer view on how things work in your mind. Just because he doesn't think its real on tv doesn't mean that it isn't real to those of us that have been through it. (((hugs))) Good luck momma. I hope you find peace.


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