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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Nearly paid for a mom's groceries... till I saw what she was buying

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I was at the self pay ringing up at the same time as another mom.  I was alone and she was only a few feet away so I could hear her conversation with her kids.  They were all so excited to get home because they were hungry, hadnt eaten all day.  The conversation got alarmed and the mom was saying her card wasnt working.  I could tell she needed the food and she didnt know what to do.  She was starting to walk out without her food and I was turning around to offer to pay and then I noticed the packed bags, they are clear so I could see they were filled with  chips, soda and candy.  Not one veggie or fruit. 

I decided they didnt need my help after all.

by on Jun. 12, 2012 at 5:22 PM
Replies (1421-1430):
Orange7
by on Jun. 13, 2012 at 11:49 PM
Quoting itzmyzoo:

Poor, hungry kids. If people only helped out on THEIR terms, nobody would help anybody. Sounds snobby to me....


I agree! You don't know what is going on in that family.
For all you know they were dealing with some difficult stuff, and just wanted a fun day with a rare treat, and a movie at home.
You don't give or help people for yourself.
rockinmomnwife
by on Jun. 13, 2012 at 11:49 PM

Everywhere I have been (military and my brother is military) it is cheaper to eat junk food, most of the time. 
Fresh veggies can be expensive. I try to feed my family mostly healthy foods but I meal plan and that helps our budget a lot! I can not afford to buy organic foods though.

Quoting armywife43:

 it really depends on the cost of living in your area. like PB for you is $1.40, here it's about $2.67. and that's the cheapest PB. Bread is about $1.50 (white bread, although sometimes we can find it on sale for $.99). while our lettuce is $1.09 (which it just went up, it used to be $.99 a head), apples are $.99 cent a pound, bananas are $,52 a pound, green bell peppers are $.99 a pound, red bell peppers are $1.99 a pound, ect. (btw, i live in the city)

if i buy a family sized lasagna it's about $10, and that's just meat or 4 cheese. while i can make mine at home with veggies inside of it for about $7.

even if you do find yourself on really hard times- at least here- speghetti is about $.90 a box, and del monte speghetti sauce is $1.16. so that's a meal for $2.06. want to add garlic bread with that? boxed garlic bread is $2.25 (which makes it $4.31) or you can get the fresh baked italian bread for $.99, throw some butter and garlic on it and throw it in the oven ( $3.05) on top of the fact who doesn't have left over speghetti? so that's like 2 meals for no more than $5 no matter which way you go.

Quoting Anonymous:

A Dr Pepper $1.25 no name brand "Dr Bob" $.75. a jar of Peter pan $1.40 Jelly about $1.50 and a loaf of bread (white bread might I add) $.98 and a bag of chips buy one get one free $2.20 sooo all together that comes to $7.00-$8.00 for a meal that will feed a family! A 64 ounce bottle of juice (no name brand) $2.40, a pound of snap peas $2.60, A bag of chicken breast $7.00, and a bag of corn in a bag $2.50.....all together that is $14.50. So thats almost TWICE THE PRICE!!!! Really isn't not more expensive to eat healthy!?

Quoting bcoll:

Really? That seems a ridiculous statement to make. I love to help, but I will choose to help with a NEED over a WANT anyday. That is my right. And the "all she could afford was cheap food" argument is beyond stretched here. It wasn't a one dollar pizza or Banquet meal, it was chips and soda. That's NOT food at all.

I'm not saying that everyone isn't entitled to a treat now and again, I'm saying OP can choose not to foot the bill.

Quoting doodlebut:

She was probably buying crap food cause that's all she could afford. I never knew that helping people came with stipulations based on your approval. Either help or don't, but leave your preferences out of it.



 


raegan1221
by on Jun. 13, 2012 at 11:50 PM

 Wow...I can't really say I agree with you. I feel like yes, they should be eating healthier but it's not your place to decide that and judge them on that. They still need to eat. But it was nice that you even thought to pay for their groceries..most wouldn't.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 166 on Jun. 13, 2012 at 11:51 PM


Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting NDADanceMom:

 

Quoting Natasha.Anna:

This post has done it for me. CM is perhaps one of the most nasty, back-biting, cat-fighting, negative, small-minded, judgemental, gossip mills on the net. Have fun rolling in the mud together.

 Sorry you feel that way over the post.  I hope you dont go.  I did tell a couple people in the thread but I dont put it in the OP because I want the thread to go on, I do find it interesting....

When I turned not only did I notice the crap but I noticed she and her kds were dressed very well.  She had the kids wait at the register and she ran out ahead of me, likely to go to her car and get some other form of payment.  She wasnt poor, she wasnt leaving with hungry kids.  I heard a conversation, I was going to help and realized she didnt need it. 

I wrote the post in a provocative manner because I like to see how people work.  It is an interesting thread.  Look at it from a different perspective.... all the people that say im judging the woman are actually the ones judging her negatively.  I never said she looked homeless, dirty or whatever.  People just inserted that.  The worst critics are actually the biggest judgers.  Its fascinating.

Well, I was defending you.-Mainly because I didn't feel we all knew the whole story...and I figured her purchase was just for snacks.. But, now I just think you are a manipulator and appear to like to start arguments. - Which is why I dislike this place!

you are a stupid woman! Apparently you are the one that needs the help

raegan1221
by on Jun. 13, 2012 at 11:51 PM

 I agree..it's really expensive to eat healthy unfortunately.

Quoting rockinmomnwife:

Everywhere I have been (military and my brother is military) it is cheaper to eat junk food, most of the time. 
Fresh veggies can be expensive. I try to feed my family mostly healthy foods but I meal plan and that helps our budget a lot! I can not afford to buy organic foods though.

Quoting armywife43:

 it really depends on the cost of living in your area. like PB for you is $1.40, here it's about $2.67. and that's the cheapest PB. Bread is about $1.50 (white bread, although sometimes we can find it on sale for $.99). while our lettuce is $1.09 (which it just went up, it used to be $.99 a head), apples are $.99 cent a pound, bananas are $,52 a pound, green bell peppers are $.99 a pound, red bell peppers are $1.99 a pound, ect. (btw, i live in the city)

if i buy a family sized lasagna it's about $10, and that's just meat or 4 cheese. while i can make mine at home with veggies inside of it for about $7.

even if you do find yourself on really hard times- at least here- speghetti is about $.90 a box, and del monte speghetti sauce is $1.16. so that's a meal for $2.06. want to add garlic bread with that? boxed garlic bread is $2.25 (which makes it $4.31) or you can get the fresh baked italian bread for $.99, throw some butter and garlic on it and throw it in the oven ( $3.05) on top of the fact who doesn't have left over speghetti? so that's like 2 meals for no more than $5 no matter which way you go.

Quoting Anonymous:

A Dr Pepper $1.25 no name brand "Dr Bob" $.75. a jar of Peter pan $1.40 Jelly about $1.50 and a loaf of bread (white bread might I add) $.98 and a bag of chips buy one get one free $2.20 sooo all together that comes to $7.00-$8.00 for a meal that will feed a family! A 64 ounce bottle of juice (no name brand) $2.40, a pound of snap peas $2.60, A bag of chicken breast $7.00, and a bag of corn in a bag $2.50.....all together that is $14.50. So thats almost TWICE THE PRICE!!!! Really isn't not more expensive to eat healthy!?

Quoting bcoll:

Really? That seems a ridiculous statement to make. I love to help, but I will choose to help with a NEED over a WANT anyday. That is my right. And the "all she could afford was cheap food" argument is beyond stretched here. It wasn't a one dollar pizza or Banquet meal, it was chips and soda. That's NOT food at all.

I'm not saying that everyone isn't entitled to a treat now and again, I'm saying OP can choose not to foot the bill.

Quoting doodlebut:

She was probably buying crap food cause that's all she could afford. I never knew that helping people came with stipulations based on your approval. Either help or don't, but leave your preferences out of it.

 


 


 

Faith, Hope & Love "I Will Have Faith in YOU, Hope For YOU To Come Home To Me & Love YOU More Every Day".
elk571
by Bronze Member on Jun. 13, 2012 at 11:55 PM

Wow, I'm surprised at the first couple of responses here.  First of all, how is she a snob just b/c of her CM name?  So she's a dance mom, so what?  I was actually on a dance team in high school, does that make me snobbier than her b/c I was a participant and not just a supporter?  Does it matter that I totally sucked but had fun anyway?  For all these ppl who are saying she's a snob and being judgemental, you all are WAY more judgemental calling her a snob based on a screen name than she might be for choosing not to buy someone else's candy and soda!  And I say might b/c I don't think she was judgemental.  A carton of eggs and a loaf of bread together is less than $5.  Just the case of soda is more than that.  A gallon of milk is less than a case of soda!  If they were really starving they should be on food stamps, free meals (which are available during summer school too), or go to any of the number of food pantries, banks, and/or churches to eat.  Our VFW even does free pancake breakfasts every Sat morning for anyone who shows up!  If she can't manage to feed them properly and/or get the resources she needs, then they would/should be taken away!  I would not have paid for those things either, as my own family can't even afford them- they are luxuries and wants, not necessities.  Food is a necessity; this is not food, it's crap.  I would have offered to buy her eggs, milk, and bread though.  That covers fried egg sandwiches, scrambled eggs and toast, and probably french toast as well with something more filling to drink!  I mean come on, babies practically live on milk alone, so they could have done that at least and had their tummies full AND been nutritious for way less than the one bag of chips...

Sunshine2plus2
by Platinum Member on Jun. 13, 2012 at 11:55 PM
1 mom liked this

 Ok I have been watching this post since it was posted and all the debate about prices so low and behold our sale ads came out today so I thought I would post some prices from HyVee!

Thick Cut Pork Chops 2.49lb

Ragu Pasta Sauce 24oz 3/5.00

Lays Chips 2/6.00 or Hyvee brand chips 3/5.00

Blue Bunny Ice cream 1.75 quart 2.99

Banquet Pot Pies 10/8.00

Little Debbies 13 oz 2/3.00

Kool Aid 10/1.00

Jif PB 18 oz 2.99

Frozen Juice 12 oz 1.47

Pepsi 24 pack 2/10.00

2 lbs baby carrots 1.99

Avocados 3/5.00

Frozen Vegetables .98 16oz

Yoplait yogurt 10/5.00

4lb package of Strawberries 4.99

Dole iceberg lettuce or coleslaw 12oz .88

Delmonte Pineapple 1.88 Each

California Peaches 1.49lb

Dole Broccoli .99 Each

Monterey whole mushrooms .88 (8oz pkg)

California red seedless grapes .99lb

MickiesMama
by on Jun. 13, 2012 at 11:56 PM


Quoting NDADanceMom:

 

Quoting Anonymous:

next time follow through and help maybe thats all they could afford because fruits and veggies are more expensive

 A family size bag of doritos is about $6.  The 24 pack of soda was $7.  Im not sure how much the snickers funsize bars are, I dont buy candy unless its Halloween.  A bag of generic frozen veggies was on sale fo $1 today, I bought several myself.  I bought a fresh ground (not the crap chub stuff) 5 pound hunk of hamburger for $11.  Whole grain buns? coupon for $1.  Toss in a large bag of potatoes and she had enough food for 2 good meals if she put back just a few of the treats.

Malnourished kids are still starving, even if they are normal or even overweight.


Stop being ignorant... not everyone has a stove and oven to heat the FROZEN veggies or cook the hamburger meat and potatoes

U just dont get it do you...

Anonymous
by Anonymous 179 on Jun. 13, 2012 at 11:57 PM
The responses to this are amazing. You're very "objective" with your answer/choice. Don't want to upend the situation, the woman did have "no cash", most times I have enough to pay for my groceries, help out a bit if sumone in front of me in line has to struggle to meet the payment.
There is an instinct, an inherent right/wrong where some wouldn't buy the groceries you did see for any amount of money. Its the way its worded, sounds "uppity", though its commonly known as good judgment. You'd be breaking a persnl rule if you spent your $$$ on the food, yours, theirs, anyones, am I correct? R stretching this to make wut you chose sumthing I wld do automatically, nevr think about, are they going to eat, n thn sleep in the car, there's kitchens evrywhere for nutrition. Milk, bread, eggs, are the same everywhere., they're touted as not very healthy. Don't feel bad, its instinct to keep your health, your family, your $$$ working for you.:)
AnnaHuney
by on Jun. 13, 2012 at 11:57 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting NDADanceMom:

 

Quoting Natasha.Anna:

This post has done it for me. CM is perhaps one of the most nasty, back-biting, cat-fighting, negative, small-minded, judgemental, gossip mills on the net. Have fun rolling in the mud together.

 Sorry you feel that way over the post.  I hope you dont go.  I did tell a couple people in the thread but I dont put it in the OP because I want the thread to go on, I do find it interesting....

When I turned not only did I notice the crap but I noticed she and her kds were dressed very well.  She had the kids wait at the register and she ran out ahead of me, likely to go to her car and get some other form of payment.  She wasnt poor, she wasnt leaving with hungry kids.  I heard a conversation, I was going to help and realized she didnt need it. 

I wrote the post in a provocative manner because I like to see how people work.  It is an interesting thread.  Look at it from a different perspective.... all the people that say im judging the woman are actually the ones judging her negatively.  I never said she looked homeless, dirty or whatever.  People just inserted that.  The worst critics are actually the biggest judgers.  Its fascinating.

Just because SHE didnt need it, doesnt mean the kids didnt need it.  To say this is "fascinating" means that you're stiring the pot and being an immature little bitch.  Its funny, I still think you're wrong, and I never gave a thought to her housing situation or her cleanliness.  I just thought that you were ridiculously judgemental.  But apparently, after reading this, you're actually just an immature trouble making little bitch....  Congrats.

Love what you do and you'll never work a day in your life.


Get to know me better at http://www.wifenmom.com/ 

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