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feeling guilty about my decision....but i know it is for the best :( **bumping for an update**

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

 well school has been in session almost 2 months now. my daughter comes home each weekend and  she looks the best she ever has!!! she is happy, loving life, getting the best grades she has ever gotten and has just grown, blossomed and matured. i think this was the hardest but best decision ever!!! we miss her horribly each night, but in 3 weeks she will be home for turkey day, and then 3 weeks later for xmas for almost a month!!!!!

i have two girls, A is going into 4th grade, B is going into 5th grade. A is extremely bright, athletic, popular, into every activity that she can find, everything comes easily to her, etc. B is sweet, kind and wonderful, she is my little miracle. When B was born the labor was easy, but delivery turned into a nightmare, her umbilical cord ended up being in a knot, then the cord and the cords for the internal monitor became tangled and wrapped around her neck. She was gray when she came out and had no heartbeat, she was quickly revived, but then went on to quit breathing several more times in her first hour. The result was she was born with a brain injury, so for B everything is a struggle, she sweats bullets and blood to get a D, is socially awkward, on the autism spectrum, and just has an all around hard time. Soooo, after a rough school year and much research, I have found a school for her that will be able to accommodate her needs far better than our school district can. The guilt resides partly in the fact that the school is a boarding school 3 states away and that I am kind of glad to see her going. A has suffered a little because of her sister, so with B out of the way, I can focus on A. I can finally go to a dance recital and see her perform, I can finally go to an away game weekend with A and be able to stay with her, instead of her being in the chaperoned room where the one or two other girls whose parents can't go that weekend, sometimes A was the only kid in the room. A can go to school freely without worrying about her sister embarrassing her, A can have friends over without having to worry about if it is going to be a "good or bad" day with her sister and how she might react. Most of all, it will be a wonderful break to have just one child who is motivated, capable, intelligent and not nearly as much constant work!! I really do love B with all of my heart, but she is a full time job, her needs are more than I want to deal with most days. I will miss her to pieces, and visit as often as possible, but I am also glad she is going and counting the days till we move her into her dorm room!!!! Please try not to be too harsh, I needed to get these feelings out, but didn't want to say them to friends or family, much easier to use the anon mom confession forum!!!

**just noticed some comments about their "letters", birth order and favortism. oldest dd's name begins with a B, youngest dd begins with an A** 

Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 13, 2012 at 12:20 AM
Replies (11-20):
by on Jun. 13, 2012 at 12:27 AM
That is terrible. I couldnt imagine feeling like that about my own child.
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by Silver Member on Jun. 13, 2012 at 12:27 AM
4 moms liked this
There is NO way that you live B with all heart, as you claim. I call BULLSHIT!!!
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by on Jun. 13, 2012 at 12:27 AM

I don't think I could do that, won't her sister miss her?

by on Jun. 13, 2012 at 12:27 AM
8 moms liked this

from what I got your sending B to a boarding school that is going to HELP her?? because she is struggling and working to the bone to get D's. Good for you your trying to give her a better opportunity to really learn and grow.

Thats what I'm getting out of it anyway.

by Platinum Member on Jun. 13, 2012 at 12:27 AM
I'm sorry but this is really sad. I can't believe anyone would feel this way about their child. I can't imagine sending my child away to a boarding school no matter how difficult they are.
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by Gold Member on Jun. 13, 2012 at 12:28 AM
5 moms liked this
You started this so sweet and endearing, and then WHAM...your NPD (narcasstic personality disorder) reared its ugly head.
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by on Jun. 13, 2012 at 12:28 AM
Sorry, nothing nice to say.
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 13, 2012 at 12:29 AM
1 mom liked this

she is not mentally handicapped, its not like i am sending away a drooling veggie! i am sending a child who is high maintenance and needs more than my school district can offer, i want her to have a chance at life also. it is a boarding school for children with academic/developmental delays, not some institution that resembles one flew over the cuckoo's nest!!

Quoting SommerRayne06:

Wow. I don't think I could do what you are doing. Won't "B" feel like she has been abandoned? I have heard horror stories about how they abuse mentally handicapped kids. How will you know she isn't being abused from 3 states away? Just something to think about. Not trying to bash.

by on Jun. 13, 2012 at 12:29 AM
7 moms liked this
Let me just say this. I would not be who I am or doing what I do for a living if I did not grow up with my 2 siblings who are disabled. It was hard at times, but I learned so much. They taught me that anything is possible if you try, to never doubt your abilities and to never take anything for granted.
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by Anonymous 6 on Jun. 13, 2012 at 12:29 AM
1 mom liked this
I think you found the perfect solution and a boarding school will be great for her. She will learn independence and other life skills. Sounds like both girls will benefit.

Did you sue the hospital? Those are preventable incidents and the money could help pay for the boarding school. Many BSs even have summer camps so she can be there all year with only 2 weeks at home.

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