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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

My 19 year old daughter is getting married!

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She is a very independent person. She said just 2 months ago she would never get married. She is not pregnant. She has no kids. She is just madly in love!

She wants to get married this summer. My husband I tried to talk them into waiting. They said that they are paying for the wedding, so if they have to wait they will elope.

I took my daughter dress shopping yesterday. She found a beautiful dress at Macy's, and bought it.

This very similar to the dress she bought, except it is off white.

Now here is the issue all of her friends and some family are very happy for her and Dustin. But some are saying things "what are you stupid?" "Another fu##ing marriage that will end in divorce!" My sister, that is her favorite aunt said it was a waste of her time and money!

Now, I know that getting married at 19 does not always work. I really tried to tell my daugter this. But, she is old enough to do as she wants, and is the type of person that will do what she wants. Comments like theirs will only get their names taken off the guest list. It is really sad because these are some of daughters favorite people that are saying this.

I just had a discussion with my sister. She said she is too young. She has only had a job for few weeks. I said ya that whole full time college student thing kind of got in the way of working, oh and taking care of your kids, and your grandkids. But, her fiance has been working since he was 16. He is 21.


While I don't want to encourage them to get married ignorant comments make me want to past pictures of her beautiful dress all over facebook (all though I really know that is immature)!

Please feel free to give me any digs or comments. I need to more sides then just mine to look at it from!

by on Jun. 14, 2012 at 9:30 AM
Replies (401-410):
connietrrll
by on Jun. 16, 2012 at 12:16 AM

You guys are all making me really excited about more grandchildren.

I don't want her to have kids for more then a few years. I know for it won't be easy. She has been fighting with a terrible iron deficiency and I think the intials are PCOD. On top of that she needs to finish school, and start a career (LOL).

I have high expectations. hehehehe

Quoting cntrybumpkin:

There are exceptions to everything I got married 6 days after I walked at my graduation. In may we celebrated our 18 the wedding anniversary and we have 2 handsome wonderful boys from our union. If it is gonna work it is gonna work whether u are 18 or 50.


ambernicolle
by on Jun. 16, 2012 at 12:34 AM
1 mom liked this

My mom always told me she would share her opinion and try to help but in the end I am going to do. And ultimately it is best for people to make their OWN mistakes and decisions. For more than one reason- 1) what you might see as a set up for failure might work for her and 2) No one truly knows about something until they are IN IT for themselves. 19 years isn't an age that is completely out of the way to get married. I am 22 and i just recently got married. Marriage is hard work..lol... And if she loves him they will either work or they won't. All you can do as family and friends is offer advice and support her or at the very least respect her for standing her ground. Even if her decision is COMPLETELY against whatever you may think. 

My Mom was always that way- and now a days i don't always feel the need to go and make my own mistakes or rocky decisions, lol. it helps to kill people with a lot of positive especially if you are right because eventually they will pick up on the fact that your right.

Good Luck to you and your daughter.... And congrats. Best WIshes.

Kelseyciarah
by on Jun. 16, 2012 at 12:40 AM
1 mom liked this

 Good for your daughter.

She is a big girl and can do as she pleases. So she wants to get married? Support her, if it works out and she lives happily ever after then thats awesome. If it does not work out, oh well, she is young and will have more time to find Mr.Right.

I got married at 18, and I am still married, have 2 kids, and am very happy.

Let her live her own life, and tell others to shove it. In the end all you can do is be there for your kids and try and give your wisdom.

Good luck to the newlyweds.


proprolife.gif picture by piink-lem0nade

 

Happily married Mama to one angelbaby, a son born 10-19-10, and a daughter born 3-20-12

connietrrll
by on Jun. 16, 2012 at 1:03 AM
1 mom liked this

I don't mind hearing both ends of the stories. I just don't like hearing my family call my daughter names. Attacking her for a choice she has made is heartless and cruel.

This is something I did not put in the beginning because it is not really that important to post. My daughter was born blue. She almost died. She suffered from Epilepsy all of her life. She also has a compromised immune system, and a blood disorder. She just recently was diagnosed with PCOD. She was held in a cabin and raped at the age of 8 (yes rape was the charge he was given)! My daughter has lived a lifetime in her 19 years. On top of all of this as everyone has, she lost her grandfather to lung cancer. She was grandpa's little girl!

So, if she was an "average" 19 year old I may not get as offended by my families attacks as I have. But, my daughter has been through a lot, and I just want her to have some happiness. If during a somewhat healthy time in her life, she wants to get married, then I will help her. I may not be all for it. But I will support her!

Quoting jonnlilithsmom:

I got talked out of getting married when I was 18... we moved in together instead... we got pregnant, and were all but FORCED to get married at that point... we split up three years later... got back together for the kid, and then split for good 5 more hellish years later...

Sorry, I don't have any good advice for you, just a feeling of dread for your daughter's future happiness :(


nursekaren
by on Jun. 16, 2012 at 8:40 AM
1 mom liked this

Ok- I got married at 19 and 21 yrs later we are still married. We were immature and didn't even know it. We grew up together, had three children, and are happy with how things turned out. My advice is-- support her and surround her with people who support her. That (along with mutual respect) is what makes marriages last.

GirlNamedBillie
by on Jun. 16, 2012 at 9:38 AM
1 mom liked this

 Her being 19yrs old is not the issue, it's the relationship itself, before I married my husband I had known him for 3yrs and we were together for 2 of those years. I was 19 when we got married and are now getting ready to celebrate our 5th anniversary with 2 beautiful daughters. Don't be discriminitory because of her age, it's the situation that needs to get better.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 16, 2012 at 2:50 PM
1 mom liked this
I married my husband at 19 we will be celebrating our 14 th anniversary in July. We have had our ups and downs but with his support I got my masters degree and we have 2 wonderful kids 8 and 6. I wouldn't change my life for anything. All those people who said we were stupid are now eating their words as the get divorced after only a few years of marriage after waiting until they were "old enough". Congrats to your daughter and her fiancé. Keep being there for her and supporting her. You are doing the right thing!
mommytoeandb
by Platinum Member on Jun. 16, 2012 at 2:53 PM
1 mom liked this
We got married at 21 & 23 and just celebrated our 12 year anniversary. If they are both mature and responsible people, they'll be starting off on the right foot.
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RissyLee
by Platinum Member on Jun. 16, 2012 at 2:54 PM
1 mom liked this
Congrats to her!
My parents got married at 18/19. They are still married and will be 60 next year :)
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
vixen42
by on Jun. 16, 2012 at 2:56 PM
1 mom liked this

not all young marriages end in divorce,I have a friend who was 18 and has been married  25 years. by the way the dress is beautiful

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