The other post got me really thinking about feminism and everything it has done for women and people in general.
What do you think feminism has done for you?
Quoting onethentwins:
Quoting Anonymous:
Not to say women got respect prior to the movement, but this is one area that failed to change for homemakers and got more difficult for those who choose to work.
I agree with you on one hand, SAHMs don't get the respect they deserve and it's up to us working moms to recogise their sacrifice and their choice, what's interesting is that SAHDs are facing the same problem, but at least SAHDs are becoming less uncommon. I totally disagree that it's more difficult for those who choose to work. Either way, at least we get somewhat equal pay for equal work, I know I do as an electronic engineer.
well, we are in agreement on many fronts, it sickens me when SAHMs are belittled. My own sister became and executive for British Telecpm at 18 and was given all kinds of accolades for becoming one so young. The minute she decided to become a SAHM she was treated like an idiot. A good friend of mine was a genetic engineer and was treated the same way. When she tried to go back to work, she was dismissed because she didn't know anything about cloning. It's a huge sacrifice, as is choosing not to stay home with your kids. I HATE when SAHMs and working moms are at each others throuts too, I'm a working mom myself.
As for dumb dads I agree also. While I have seen men that are totally incapable of doing the most basic of home repairs, this is not new. MY MILs dad would rather pay a handyman to change a washer than do it himself. My boss is in awe at my husband because he can do basis household things like paint a room, that's more of a social economic thing than a feminist thing. I am thoroghly annoyed at commercials that make out that dads cannot run the household for a weekend while moms away. My husband is more than capable of changing a diaper, feeding the kids, and getting them to school as I am, we have been equal parents from the beginning.
But, I maintain that I do not need anyone to open a door for me and I'm grateful that the feminist movement existed and that women now have choices.
Quoting shortycmlb:
OMG dont get me wrong, I am completely grateful that womens lib took it to equality, I just hate when they bash SAHMs for choosing to serve their husbands/do all or most housework/being content with all the child rearing in the weekdays etc. If my girls want to work and be a working mom and make a 6 fig salary by all means go for it! :) They can do anything they set their minds to, but this is my choice you know? I hate it when Wworking moms and SAHMS are at each others throats because both have difficult jobs, they are just very different jobs and shouldnt even be compared to each other you know? Both come with EXTREMELY different pros and cons so saying one is better/worse than the other is utter bullshit.
I DO think that primitively, women want strength, protection and for their men to be caretakers. What that means to each woman is different though. For me it means my husband works, brings home the money, protects us from harm/danger etc etc and I take care of him, the house and our kids (weekends are fair game, however lol and dads that refuse to help with the kids and house on weekends are pathetic IMO)
I have been seeing men be put down more and more though. The idiot husband needs his wifes guidance to find and buy a good GPS (commercial). The dumb husband breaks something in the house and the wife needs to hire the repair company (commercial) etc etc I find it very demeaning to men but most women dont notice it because its not 'sexist' but if the genders were switched it'd be outrageous (i know in some there are, but not as many as of late)
Quoting onethentwins:
ok, but aren't you happy that it's a choice, rather than an expectation? Can you at least be grateful that your daughters have a choice?
Quoting shortycmlb:
And I'd rather have our strict budgeting, living below our means with me being a SAHM and being there for EVERY.SINGLE.MOMENT with my girls and never missing a thing while my husband opens the door and pulls out chairs for me when we go somewhere. I am VERY independant, but I also depend on him and I am not ashamed of it, just like he depends on me.
Thank you very much.
Quoting onethentwins:
I could care less about chivalry; really who cares if he stands up when you leave the table? I can open my own door thank you very much. Good riddance to chivalry, I'd rather have my six figure engineering job thank you very much.
Quoting shortycmlb:
Women complain that chivalry is dead, yeah well, womens lib killed it.
- I on the other hand have loved "having having it all". I was able to work and have serious quality and quantity time with my kids when they were little. My twins got up at 9:30 am and went to bed at 9:30. I worked 7:30 to 3:30 so I got to spend about 6 hours a day with them. I didn't go to work until they were 18 months old. I got to see their first steps, smiles, laughs etc. When I went back to work my husband worked afternoons and evenings and the time when we were both working was covered by my MIL and our great Aunt. It was perfect. I would have hated being a SAHM, but I have every respect for those that chose to stay home and I'm grateful to the feminists that came before us that made it a choice and not an obligation.
Quoting Anonymous:
I actually made really good money as a hairstylist. 50-100 /hr, part time no benefits etc. But I contributed to the income took care of the house and grocery shopping. That was a busy life, being at home full time tests my sanity but I would only work full time if I had no choice. I don't know how long physically and mentally I would be able to handle both. Really you don't get any credit for running yourself ragged if you choose to do both. Atleast if my kids have me up all night I get a nap the next day and don't have to worry about covering a shift or calling out.
Quoting onethentwins:
Quoting Anonymous:
Not to say women got respect prior to the movement, but this is one area that failed to change for homemakers and got more difficult for those who choose to work.
I agree with you on one hand, SAHMs don't get the respect they deserve and it's up to us working moms to recogise their sacrifice and their choice, what's interesting is that SAHDs are facing the same problem, but at least SAHDs are becoming less uncommon. I totally disagree that it's more difficult for those who choose to work. Either way, at least we get somewhat equal pay for equal work, I know I do as an electronic engineer.
That is AWFUL about your sister! I had a similar expirience with my friends. I applaud working moms! Its like if thats what you want then go for it you know?
I am grateful they existed to give women equal opportunities, dont get me wrong :) I just wish the extremeists didnt belittle SAHMS for WANTING to be SAHMS >.> We are equal partners, just in polar opposite areas. I dont consider his working more than my household, and vice versa. If I need to go the extra mile in the house, I do so (or with babysitting, crafts etc for extra cash, what have you) and if we need more money that month he works more overtime. If the yard needs mowed he mows, I rake and do the flowers with him digging the holes in front of me LOL.
I like the chivalry :) Not on a go to the store, go home, every day errand thing, but on date nights its SO nice.
My Dh is much the same as yours. Basic things he can handle with the house (although I handle ALL the plumbing LOL) and with painting, repairs, floor replacement etc we are a team 50/50.
I HATED that Huggies? commercial that the dads couldnt handle the kids I was like Where TF did they get these guys? or that idea? O.o
Quoting onethentwins:well, we are in agreement on many fronts, it sickens me when SAHMs are belittled. My own sister became and executive for British Telecpm at 18 and was given all kinds of accolades for becoming one so young. The minute she decided to become a SAHM she was treated like an idiot. A good friend of mine was a genetic engineer and was treated the same way. When she tried to go back to work, she was dismissed because she didn't know anything about cloning. It's a huge sacrifice, as is choosing not to stay home with your kids. I HATE when SAHMs and working moms are at each others throuts too, I'm a working mom myself.
As for dumb dads I agree also. While I have seen men that are totally incapable of doing the most basic of home repairs, this is not new. MY MILs dad would rather pay a handyman to change a washer than do it himself. My boss is in awe at my husband because he can do basis household things like paint a room, that's more of a social economic thing than a feminist thing. I am thoroghly annoyed at commercials that make out that dads cannot run the household for a weekend while moms away. My husband is more than capable of changing a diaper, feeding the kids, and getting them to school as I am, we have been equal parents from the beginning.
But, I maintain that I do not need anyone to open a door for me and I'm grateful that the feminist movement existed and that women now have choices.
Quoting shortycmlb:
OMG dont get me wrong, I am completely grateful that womens lib took it to equality, I just hate when they bash SAHMs for choosing to serve their husbands/do all or most housework/being content with all the child rearing in the weekdays etc. If my girls want to work and be a working mom and make a 6 fig salary by all means go for it! :) They can do anything they set their minds to, but this is my choice you know? I hate it when Wworking moms and SAHMS are at each others throats because both have difficult jobs, they are just very different jobs and shouldnt even be compared to each other you know? Both come with EXTREMELY different pros and cons so saying one is better/worse than the other is utter bullshit.
I DO think that primitively, women want strength, protection and for their men to be caretakers. What that means to each woman is different though. For me it means my husband works, brings home the money, protects us from harm/danger etc etc and I take care of him, the house and our kids (weekends are fair game, however lol and dads that refuse to help with the kids and house on weekends are pathetic IMO)
I have been seeing men be put down more and more though. The idiot husband needs his wifes guidance to find and buy a good GPS (commercial). The dumb husband breaks something in the house and the wife needs to hire the repair company (commercial) etc etc I find it very demeaning to men but most women dont notice it because its not 'sexist' but if the genders were switched it'd be outrageous (i know in some there are, but not as many as of late)
Quoting onethentwins:
ok, but aren't you happy that it's a choice, rather than an expectation? Can you at least be grateful that your daughters have a choice?
Quoting shortycmlb:
And I'd rather have our strict budgeting, living below our means with me being a SAHM and being there for EVERY.SINGLE.MOMENT with my girls and never missing a thing while my husband opens the door and pulls out chairs for me when we go somewhere. I am VERY independant, but I also depend on him and I am not ashamed of it, just like he depends on me.
Thank you very much.
Quoting onethentwins:
I could care less about chivalry; really who cares if he stands up when you leave the table? I can open my own door thank you very much. Good riddance to chivalry, I'd rather have my six figure engineering job thank you very much.
Quoting shortycmlb:
Women complain that chivalry is dead, yeah well, womens lib killed it.
Do you ever get hit on even looking a mess?
Why inflict this silly cosmetic pain on a baby!?!
- Mommy2ZOEBETH
on Jun. 15, 2012 at 4:49 PM